Home
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: Kendall Knight is left to pick up the pieces when both his job and his marriage fall apart in the span of a month. But when his best friend reaches out and offers to help, he can't say no. What happens when the two of them live under the same roof and old feelings find their way back to the surface?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone!**

**So, with Drifter coming to an end soon, I figured that I needed another story to replace it, right? :P This story is a little something that I started working on just for fun with no real intention of posting, but here we are! It's on the shorter side, around ten chapters (give or take a few), but I hope you all enjoy! **

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_Glad you made it. See you at baggage claim. :)_

I smiled at James' text, relieved it hadn't been along the lines of _sorry, couldn't make it _or something. He wasn't flaky like that, and it would have been seriously out of character for him to bail on me, but with the way my life had been going for the last couple of months, I was taking nothing for granted-not even my best friend coming to the airport to pick me up. Or letting me live with him until I got my shit together, even after he hadn't seen me in five years.

Guilt jabbed me in the gut. I'd all but ghosted James five years ago, and still he was picking me up and taking me in.

_Man, I'm gonna owe you so big, _I thought as I reread his text. As if I didn't already. At the very least, he was probably going to want an explanation for me disappearing on him. And I supposed I owed him that much, even if the thought of that conversation made me want to throw up.

One thing at a time. Get off the plane. Go meet up with him. Settle in. And then...then talk. Eventually. Fuck my life.

The plane lurched to a stop at the gate, and as soon as the seatbelt light went off, people jumped out of their seats and started popping open overhead bins. Clear back here in row thirty-nine, it seemed pretty pointless, but that didn't stop anyone.

I was shoehorned in by the window, so I didn't bother getting up. It wasn't like I could stand anyway-coach was clearly not designed for anyone over about five feet tall, and if I stood now, I'd be hunched over to keep from clocking my head on the bin.

My whole body ached from sitting the past few hours, and that ache seemed to intensify as the forward rows started clearing out and people filed off the plane. Just a few more minutes, and I could stand and stretch.

At least the flight was over. I'd made it. All I had to do now was get up, collect my crap, get to baggage claim, collect the _rest _of my crap, and meet up with James. After that…

I sighed, deflating a bit and leaning against the rigid seatback. I was here. I was in Seattle. So...now what?

As I took off my seatbelt, I glanced at my left hand, momentarily puzzled when my ring didn't click against the buckle.

Oh. Right.

I wasn't wearing it anymore. Hadn't worn it in weeks now, but I still wasn't used to that thick gold band being gone. It seemed like such a small thing to even notice, given how chaotic my life had been lately, but under this much stress, every little thing registered. My lack of a ring was just one more thing on the heaping pile of shit to obsess over. And it was less stressful than worrying about if the new job would work out, how I'd manage to get a car and a new place, if I could still find my way around the Seattle area, if James was angry at me over disappearing, if-

_God, Kendall. Get a grip. One thing at a time._

Shaking myself, I tamped down the fresh anxiety prickling along my spine. I had time to figure things out. Today's priority had been to get to Seattle and settle into my temporary home. I was halfway there. Everything else could sit tight until tomorrow.

My seatmates moved out of the row, and I pried myself up as well. After a couple of minutes, it was our turn to make our way up the aisle. I tried not to glare at the first class seats. The upgrades had been relatively cheap. A hundred bucks or so, if I remembered right.

Tempting, especially for all that extra legroom, but I couldn't justify it. Not with a divorce-in-progress, rapidly depleting savings, and that minor detail about being between jobs.

Okay, I technically had another job lined up-I started a week from tomorrow-but until my paychecks actually started rolling in, I was going to continue budgeting and spending as if I were unemployed.

So no first class upgrade. Even if that meant folding all five-eleven of me into a seat designed for a hobbit.

After a bit more shuffling, I was off the plane. I strode through SeaTac International, thrilled to be up and moving. The aches and knots loosened with every step, and my heart fluttered with...shit, was that excitement?

Yeah, it was. My life had been utter chaos for the last few months, and things I enjoyed had only served to remind me how crappy I felt, and thus made me feel worse.

But suddenly the prospect of seeing James-my best friend since elementary school-had me walking a little faster. And smiling. And nervous. And, yeah, _excited_.

We'd been joined at the hip until we'd graduated high school. College had taken us to other states. His career had brought him back to Seattle while my marriage had kept me in Chicago. Whenever I'd come to visit, we'd always made a point of meeting up, and we rarely went more than a few months without seeing each other.

And then I'd stopped going to see him. Stopped talking to him on the phone. Our only connection had been on Facebook, and I'd nearly unfriended him so many times, I was queasy with shame just from thinking about it.

When all was said and done, we'd gone five years without seeing each other in person. Without really staying in contact at all besides that passive presence in each other's newsfeeds. If not for social media, God knew if I'd have ever been able to find him again.

One thing was for sure-he wouldn't have reached out and offered to help me.

_I don't deserve you, James._

The final stretch to baggage claim was an escalator, and at the top, people were gathered around, watching for whoever they were meeting, and-

There.

Holy shit. There he was.

Smiling down at me, arms folded on the chest-high railing overlooking the escalator, was James. His hazel eyes sparkled like they always had, and the five o'clock shadow that had been in some of his recent Facebook photos looked ever better in person. Or maybe I was just _that _thrilled and relieved to see him.

_How the hell did I go five years without you?_

Well, no time like the present to start making up for it.

He grinned as the escalator brought me closer. "Hey, man!"

"Hey you." I smiled back, heart thumping and my throat suddenly tight. As soon as I was clear of the top of the escalator and out of everyone else's way, James threw his arms around me and hugged me tight. I dropped my bag, closed my eyes, and held him.

He'd always given the best hugs. Somehow, we'd always fit together perfectly, and after all this time, and after all the hell I'd been through recently, his enthusiastic embrace was exactly what I needed. He held me so tight I could barely breathe, and I just didn't care.

"Oh my god, I missed you." I said.

"I missed you, too." He said into my shoulder. Without letting go, he added, "How are you doing? How was your flight?"

I groaned. "Don't ask about the flight."

He pulled back, frowning at me. "That bad?"

"That bad. But it's over now. I'm ready to get out of here."

The smile came back to life, and he gestured past me. "Let's see where your bags will come out, then."

Fortunately, it was only a couple of carousels down, and by the time we joined the thickening crowd, the bags were starting to appear. Sometimes it wasn't so bad, being one of the last to deplane. At least I wouldn't have to wait long for my damn suitcases.

In theory, anyway. The first showed up almost immediately. The second wasn't far behind. The third, however, took its sweet time, and as bag after bag that wasn't mine appeared, I prayed like hell it hadn't been lost. With my luck lately, I wouldn't have been surprised. I just wasn't sure if I could deal with yet another hiccup while I tried to start my new life.

I glanced at the two suitcases standing beside James. "Those will fit in your car, right? I didn't even think to ask if-"

"Relax." He winked. "You know I've _always _got room for your junk in my trunk."

A lady next to him scowled, and I chuckled, rolling my eyes before turning my attention back to the carousel. It felt good to be the target of his crude banter again.

The third suitcase finally showed up, and James and I lugged them out to the parking garage. I was still a little dubious about fitting all of this into a single car, but the trunk of James' car turned out to be remarkably spacious.

"See?" He slammed the trunk lid. "Got it all in and didn't even need lube."

I laughed. James' sense of humor obviously hadn't changed, and that little touch of normalcy-that piece of the past that had remained constant the whole time we'd known each other-eased my anxiety.

Some part of me had wondered if we'd still be able to get along. We'd spent so many years in different worlds, and hadn't crossed paths in five-what if we'd both changed too much? What if living together proved that we'd drifted too far apart and were too different and things went to shit like they had with my now ex-wife?

_I already lost her. What if I lose you again?_

That fear had been careening around in my head ever since he'd reached out on Facebook and offered to let me stay with him. But now, as we climbed into his car and started out of the labyrinthine parking garage, James' playful comments and easy smile settled the nerves more than he probably realized.

"So." He kept his eyes on the road as he drove down the dizzying, tightly-coiled ramp from the parking garage. "Do you want to grab something to eat? Do you need anything?" He glanced at me. "I went grocery shopping this morning and made sure everything's well-stocked but I don't really know what you eat these days." The near-frantic concern in his tone warmed me all over. That had always been him-the mother hen who made sure everyone around him was taken care of.

"I'm good. I'm just glad to be off the plane."

"I believe it. Flying is such a nightmare these days."

I just grunted in agreement. While he drove, I surreptitiously watched him, trying to be absolutely sure he was here and not a hallucination.

Oh, he was definitely there. He had a few more lines than he'd had in our younger days, and he wasn't as tanned as he'd been the last time I'd seen him.

But he still had the high cheekbones. Still had the sharp jawline. I couldn't see his eyes now because he had on sunglasses, but I'd seen them in the airport, and they were definitely etched into my mind. Still as amazing as they'd ever been.

_Remind me not to go another five years without looking at you._

We finally made it to the end of the ramp, and I handed James a twenty so he could pay for parking at the booth on the way out. Once that was squared away, he got us on the freeway...which was basically a parking lot.

"What the hell?" I said. "Isn't it a little early for rush hour?"

James barked out a laugh and patted my leg. "Oh, Kendall. You really have been gone a while, haven't you?"

"Huh?"

"Rush hour has always started this early."

"Seriously? It's-" I paused as my jetlagged brain finally caught up. "Oh, right. Two-thirty means Boeing just let out."

"Exactly." He settled back against the seat, one hand resting on top of the wheel. "So it's going to be a while. If you want to stop for food or something, just let me know. There's plenty of options off ramps between here and home."

"It's fine. Honestly, I'm okay."

James glanced at me again, brow pinched with skepticism and concern. "Are you, though?"

_You mean aside from guilt eating me alive over deserting you?_

I swallowed. "I am. Just a bit jetlagged and stiff from that stupid seat. But I'm good. I promise."

"How about in general?"

I stared at the line of bumpers and rear windows extending into the distance, not sure how to answer the question. Things were improving, or at least calming down. I was adapting as much as anyone could under the circumstances. Nothing in my life felt remotely stable, and just thinking about that brought all the anxiety to the surface so violently I had to fight back an unexpected wave of panic.

Everything in my world had been in constant motion lately, and I was suddenly desperate to be still. Not on a plane. Not in a car. Just...not moving. Not needing to move. The last several weeks had been go, go, go, and I...fuck, I was exhausted. None of this was over, and there were wheels turning that wouldn't stop anytime soon, but was it too much to ask for an hour to catch my breath?

"You know," I said quickly. "I _could _stand to eat something after all." I gestured at the upcoming ramp for Southcenter Mall. "Why don't we swing in there and I'll buy us lunch?"

James didn't push the issue.

He just turned on his blinker and started crawling toward the ramp.

* * *

I'd been worried sick about Kendall, and now that he was here, that worry didn't back down at all. Oh, I still had some questions, and I still ground my teeth whenever I tried to figure out why he'd vanished on me, and I'd still cursed his name a few times in recent years, but all of that could wait. Sitting opposite him at some hipster bar and grill across the street from the mall, I ignored my menu and stared at him, more worried than angry.

He'd always kept himself in shape, and it still showed in his physique. I could see the fatigue that pushed down on his shoulders, but it couldn't hide the lean muscle underneath his snug black t-shirt. His blond hair was a little longer than it had been when I'd seen him last, and I liked it on him. The five o'clock shadow probably would have been a nice touch too, but his face was so pale and the circles under his eyes were so dark, it just made him seem tired.

He looked amazing and he looked terrible. Like time had been kind to him-he was even hotter than he'd been in high school-but life had been a dick, and now this incredibly sexy man seemed like he'd had the shit kicked out of him.

He was simultaneously pinging all those brain cells of mine that been fantasizing about him since we were teenagers, and tripping my drive to take care of him until his life was right again. I barely had room for that simmering resentment, though I knew it would probably elbow its way in at some point.

Of course I'd expected him to look like shit. After everything he'd been through lately, a physical toll was inevitable. I doubted I'd be in any better shape if both my job and my spouse had booted me to the curb in the space of a month. Who was I kidding? If I'd been through half that shit, I'd have been curled in a fetal position and begging for wine, ice cream, and death, and not necessarily in that order.

So yeah, it wasn't surprising to see him like this, but it was hard to take in. Kendall had always been so optimistic and happy. A human ray of sunshine who had somehow been the perfect friend for a prickly ball of cynicism like me.

That light had dimmed, though, and I hoped it was just the exhaustion that had dulled the shine in his eyes and made his sweet smile into something rare and half-hearted. Maybe a few decent nights of sleep, not to mention starting his new job and getting his feet under him, would bring him back to life.

Maybe he needed to get laid.

_Say the word, and I will have ladies lined up outside your bedroom door._

Oblivious to me, Kendall closed his menu and laid it beside the placemat. He absently sipped his ice water and stared at the center of the table with unfocused eyes. Neither of us said a word until the waiter came to take our order.

I hadn't even scanned the menu, but I'd been here before, so I just ordered something generic-a BLT with fries-and another water. Once Kendall and I were alone again, I folded my hands on the table and broke the silence.

"Hey."

He lifted his gaze, and for the first time, I could _really _see the fatigue in his green eyes. Not just that, but the...emptiness, for lack of a better word. Like all the life and spark had been sucked right out of him.

I swallowed. "Tell me honestly, Ken...are you okay?"

He sighed, breaking eye contact again, and ran a hand through his hair as he sat back against the faux leather bench. "I'd love to tell you I am, but…" He shook his head. "I'm not. I'm really not."

I sat up and folded my arms on the edge of the table. "Talk to me."

"What is there to say?" His voice sounded as brittle as he looked. "My wife's gone. My job's gone." He laughed humorlessly. "I'm one lost dog away from starring in a bad country song."

"Sounds like a pretty rough patch."

"Just a bit."

Chewing my lip, I studied him for a moment. "What happened, anyway?" We'd talked a fair amount lately on the phone and on Facebook, but the majority of that had been to work out the logistics of him moving in with me. He'd been understandably focused on putting out fires, so we hadn't discussed much else.

Kendall wrapped his hands around his water glass and stared into it. "Basically, the company I was working for merged with another one, and that one is pretty much in bed with one of the big home lenders in Illinois." He sighed. "They promised they wouldn't lay off any of the appraisers, but before the ink had even dried on the merger…"

I'd meant his ex, but okay. "Was there something shady going on? Or just merger bullshit?"

"They tried to tell us it was a cost-cutting measure or whatever." Kendall rolled his eyes. "But there were some rumors. In fact, there was a lawsuit against the bank claiming their appraisers under-appraised or over-appraised houses depending on which outcome was better for them."

I cocked my head. "I thought appraisals were done independently."

"On paper, they are. But anyone can be bribed. So the appraisers who were willing to massage the numbers stayed onboard, and the rest of us were shown the door." He brought his drink to his lips and added a bitter, "Allegedly."

"Jesus. You guys should fucking sue."

He scowled, shaking his head. "The legal fees would kill us, even if we went in on it together. That, and we have no proof, and if any of us ever want to work as appraisers again, we're better off not having our names attached to a wrongful termination suit."

"Oh. Yeah." I grimaced. "Fair point."

"And anyway, I found a job out here, so I'll be fine. I really didn't want to work for the new parent company, and I was ready to get out of Chicago." He met my eyes again, his expression sad and tired. A little smile formed, which didn't help. "It was time to come home."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. What I really wanted to ask about was his divorce, but I supposed I didn't need to. They'd been doomed from the start as far as I was concerned, and the only questions were why it had taken so long and what had been the last straw.

Which wasn't fair. Or objective. Not that I was remotely capable of _being _fair or objective when it came to Kendall and his relationships. After all, I'd been in love with him since our sophomore year and he was (rudely) _straight_. I'd made peace with that. I couldn't have him as a partner, but I was grateful to have him as a friend and I'd always genuinely wished him that best when it came to women.

So it killed me, and had for years now, that he'd married Jo. Standing beside him at his wedding, smiling through the worst heartbreak I'd ever felt, I'd had to fight the urge to grab him by the shoulders, shake him a few times, and steer him towards the row of five bridesmaids. I didn't know any of them, but at least one of them had to be better for him than Jo.

It wasn't fair. I would have literally moved mountains for this man, and he'd wound up married to _her_. I wasn't bitter that he was straight-I was bitter that out of millions of wonderful women on this earth, easily a hundred a whom I would have personally set him up with, he'd had to marry _that _one. It wasn't fucking fair to love someone this much and have no choice but to sit back and watch them fall for people who didn't deserve them. Like _Jo_.

And I hated that he was hurting over her. He deserved to be happy, and hopefully he would be, but right now, he wasn't. Even having him back in my life wasn't a big enough silver lining if it meant that he was miserable.

Kendall exhaled, absently swirling his glass so the ice clinked against the sides. "By the way, I know I've said this about a hundred times already, but thank you. For putting me up and everything. The prospect of getting back on my feet is a lot less daunting now."

I smiled. "You're welcome. You know I've always got your back."

_I'd do anything for you._

A lump rose in my throat. I really would have done anything for him, especially if it meant getting him out of this awful funk. Staring across the table at him now after he'd inexplicably pulled away from me half a decade ago, though, I realized just how true those words were.

The worst part was that despite everything, all those feelings I'd had back then were still just as strong, if not stronger, today. Just like when we were teenagers, I would have sold my soul for him to even _look _at me as something more than a friend. But if that wasn't possible-or even in some parallel universe where it _was _possible-I could think of literally nothing I wouldn't do for this man.

Shifting in my seat, I forced back my emotions and gazed into his eyes. "So, you're planning on staying in Seattle now?"

"As long as the new job holds out." He smiled a bit more genuinely. "I'm kind of looking forward to it, actually. The divorce and all that shit has been rough, but it's good to be home, you know?"

I smiled back. "Well, circumstances notwithstanding, it's good to have you home."

_Even if having a front row seat to you finding someone new is going to be torture._

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**Done! So, Kames have been reunited after being apart for five years! **

**I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but it will more than likely be up sometime this weekend. Maybe... :P**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again everyone! :)**

**So, before we get into the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, BigTimeRush-BTR, Guest, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacXxX for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

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Traffic was still a nightmare when we left the restaurant. In fact, there was a wreck on I-405, which brought everything to a standstill.

James took some back roads, though, and we spent well over an hour driving through areas that I'd either never seen before or had changed so dramatically I didn't recognize them.

Eventually, we made it into some familiar territory. Redmond had changed a lot since I'd lived in the area, but it was still Redmond, and I knew a few streets and buildings. Enough to figure out where I was, at least.

James lived just a few miles outside of Redmond, but not quite to Fall City. There were a lot of farms out here, plus some scattered clusters of condos and apartments, all with eye-watering price tags. I'd checked out some apartments in this area, and the rent was staggering.

So I was more than a little surprised when James pulled into the driveway of a modest blue split-level on what must have been at least an acre of fenced-in land. My appraiser brain whirred into action, and...holy shit. How much was James _making_ these days?

I craned my neck, peering at the place through the windshield. "This is yours?"

"Yep." James said as he killed the engine. "Has been for the last two years."

I shot him an incredulous look. "_How_? Are you selling cocaine or something?"

James laughed, patting my thigh. "No, I'm not selling cocaine." He motioned toward the house. "It was a foreclosure. I got lucky-even foreclosures have been going for a lot, but this one needed so much work, nobody wanted to pay for it."

"Oh." Well, okay, hat made sense.

"Come on in." He opened the car door. "We'll put your stuff in the guest room, and I'll show you around."

We unloaded everything and took it inside. Once we'd walked in, it made a bit more sense that he'd been able to afford the place. It certainly had potential to be really nice, but it was very much a work-in-progress.

The front door was on the landing between the first and second floors, and what I could see of the first floor hallway was bare plywood, like the carpet had recently been ripped out. A ladder peeked out from behind the wall, and there were paint buckets and tools stacked neatly beside it.

As we lugged my suitcases up to the second floor, more signs of construction were visible, especially in the living room. Sheets of plastic covered a section of wall where the sheetrock had been removed, exposing studs and pink insulation. The brick mantel had been partially torn out, as had half the carpet. The kitchen was partially gutted, with a gaping hole where I assumed a dishwasher was meant to be.

"You've been busy." I said.

"Yeah." He chuckled self-consciously. "It's a lot better than it was, believe me."

"I do. This part looks great." I nodded toward the side of the kitchen that appeared to be finished. "Did you do all of it?"

James nodded. "I lived downstairs in the rec room for the first six months because this floor was such a wreck. But now the kitchen is usable and the master and guest bedrooms are done. The master bathroom is done, too. I'm still working on the other upstairs bathroom." He paused. "I mean, it's usable, but you might have to use mine for a little while until I unfuck the shower in yours."

I shrugged. "That's fine by me. In fact, now that you mention it, do you mind if I grab a shower now? I still feel gross from being on the plane."

"Sure. I'll show you where everything is."

He took me down the hall to the guest room, which was directly across the hall from his bedroom. It was fairly sparse with a queen sized bed, a dresser, and a pair of nightstands. The off-white walls were bare aside from a framed print of a sailboat against a vivid sunset. It was impersonal, but cozy-not unlike the hotel room I'd been staying in recently.

As he parked one of my suitcases beside the bed, James gestured at the wall between the dresser and nightstand. "There's a power outlet here, and I can get you a power strip if you need to plug in a computer or something. Wi-Fi network is 'I'm Not Paying For You To Surf Porn', and the password is 'fuck you Tim', all one word, all lowercase."

I snorted. "Am I sensing some animosity with your neighbors?"

James tsked and rolled his eyes. "Cheap motherfucker likes to steal my bandwidth. I thought I'd fixed it when I changed the password, but then it started getting slow again." He turned to me, lips quirked. "Would you believe that when my ex moved out, he gave that jackass my Wi-Fi password just for spite?"

"What? That's fucking _low_."

"I know, right? I just figured it out, like, a month ago. Hence the new and mildly passive aggressive network name."

"Mildly, eh?"

"Well, by my standards." James batted his eyelashes, and I laughed. Which felt pretty damn good, and probably shouldn't have surprised me. I should've known that even when my life was at its absolute shittiest, James could make me laugh. No wonder the last five years had seemed so dark.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, so, the bathroom is across the hall, one door to your left. My bedroom is straight across, and the master bathroom is...well, let me show you." He gestured for me to follow him.

His bedroom wasn't nearly as sparse as the guest room. There were framed photos on the wall and he had some odds and ends on his dresser hanging by the mirror.

Mardi Gras beads. Some lanyards with what appeared to be passes for conventions and concerts. A pink and white lei hanging from the same thumbtack as a postcard with white sand and palm trees on it.

I'd seen some photos on his Facebook from the trips he'd taken, and for some reason I decided it was incredibly endearing to see the sentimental side of him that kept his favorite memories where he could see them.

The California king bed was covered in a bright blue comforter and some matching throw pillows, plus a very large long-haired cat-mostly silver-gray with a black head and legs-curled in the middle. The cat lifted its head and looked at me coolly with icy blue eyes.

"That's Hazel." James pointed at the cat. "She's kind of a bitch, but if you let her warm up to you on her terms, she's super sweet when she wants to be."

"Good to know."

"And don't be surprised if she shows up on your bed. She loves the guest room, and she's a total cuddlebug once she decides you're worthy."

I glanced at the cat, who was peering at me with pure disdain. Somehow I doubted she'd be cuddling with me anytime soon, but okay.

"This is the bathroom." He motioned toward the door beside his closet. "Towels are in the linen closet in the hallway. Also, the hot water doesn't last very long." He huffed. "I'm working on getting the hot water heater replaced because the new one is shitty as hell, but the company's acting like the warranty is-" He waved a hand and shook his head. "Anyway. If it starts getting cool, get out, because it's about to turn ice fucking cold."

"Duly noted." I said. "I take pretty short showers anyway. Kind of comes with the territory when you-" I caught myself before I let the comment come to life. I really, really didn't want to discuss the things my ex-wife and I had fought about. Especially the stupid petty shit. Clearing my throat, I shifted my weight. "My last place was the same way."

He studied me like he was curious what I'd left out, but if he was, he let it go. "Okay, so." He looked around as if to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. "I'll leave you to it."

"Great. Thanks."

We exchanged smiles, and my heart fluttered. He'd always had the most gorgeous smile. That, and even though my world was on its ass, I actually got to see my best friend now. Every day.

_Why did I ever let her keep us apart?_

I swallowed the lump that had suddenly materialized in my throat, and with it my guilty conscience. With a smile that was more forced than it had been a second ago, I said, "Right. So, I'll get a shower, and then I'll buy you dinner tonight. I owe you."

"Don't worry about it. I know cash is probably tight, and I have plenty of food here, so-"

"Then at least let me cook something." I put a hand on his shoulder. "You're bailing me out big time. Just let me do something for you."

James studied me, features taut for a moment, and finally shrugged, his shoulder lifting slightly under my palm. "If you want to, I'm not going to say no." Now his smile had changed, too-turning a little nostalgic and maybe kind of sad as he looked in my eyes. "You always were a great cook."

We held each other's gazes a second longer before I took my hand off his shoulder and he left so I could take a shower.

I cleaned myself up as quickly as I could, taking to heart his comment about the water heater crapping out quickly. The water was still hot when I finished, so I indulged in a minute or so of just enjoying the warmth rushing over me.

I'd been staying in a hotel for the last two weeks, and the shower hadn't had much pressure, so I couldn't help savoring the luxurious feeling of water beating on my stiff neck and shoulders.

The water did quickly start cooling, though, so I got out. I dried off in the bathroom, wrapped the towel around my waist, and headed back to my room.

On the way across James' bedroom, I glanced at the souvenirs he'd tacked on his wall or arranged on his dresser, and one caught my eye: A little plastic Space Needle keychain dangling from the pushpin that also held a faded and slightly wrinkled ticket from our senior year party.

My breath hitched. I vividly remembered that night, and for reasons I couldn't quite define, it warmed my heart to see that our graduation party had made the cut for his wall of apparently cherished memories. And that it was still there after all these years.

That night seemed so long ago. Like something that had happened in another lifetime. At the same time, though, the memories were as clear as if it had been last night. How we'd all been ecstatic over graduating, a little sad over not seeing each other every day anymore, and equal parts terrified and excited about the future.

They'd had karaoke, and while I usually loathed karaoke, several of our friends had wanted to do it, so I'd tagged along.

When it came time to pick songs, James had picked My Heart Will Go On. We'd all laughed since he'd obviously chosen it ironically, sort of like when a friend of ours had done Like a Virgin or when my girlfriend at the time had badly sung some Pink Floyd song I couldn't recall.

James had stepped onto the stage, the music had started, and he'd…

God. He'd nailed it. Like, made the whole room go silent, gave everyone goosebumps, hit all the notes flawlessly, _nailed it_. In his own voice, too. Not some attempt to make himself actually sound like Celine Dion.

It was the first and only time that song had ever come close to bringing me to tears, and to this day, I couldn't hear it without getting those goosebumps all over again.

Or think about it, apparently, because I was getting them right now.

With a shiver, I pulled my gaze away from the tiny piece of senior party memorabilia and continued across the hall to my room. As I got dressed, I couldn't get the memories out of my head, especially James singing.

That was the thing I remembered most clearly about that night. Watching him up there onstage, singing his heart out until that last, long note had been drowned out by applause and cheers, and being utterly mesmerized by him.

We'd all been convinced after that that he would wind up with a recording contract and an armload of Grammy awards. When American Idol had been a thing, I'd always watching the audition episodes under the pretense of enjoying a little schadenfreude, but truthfully, I'd been hoping for a glimpse of James singing for the judges. So it was kind of weird now, him being settled into a modest house with a normal job, a regular car, and a judgemental cat. He was obviously doing well, and he seemed to be happy, but he wasn't a rock star.

Then again, I guess most of us weren't. We'd all had big dreams, and now he had some corporate job, I appraised houses for mortgage lenders, and we commiserate with our old classmates on Facebook about student loans. Everyone had more or less average lives, and that was okay. We didn't all have to be rock stars.

Hell, at this point, I'd have been perfectly happy with a dull, average existence. It would be a lot less chaotic than things had been for me recently. After all of that, boring sounded just fine by me, and I was looking forward to getting back to it.

I wondered about James, though. Was he truly happy? Did he like his job and his life?

And I realized then how little I knew about him now. _Was _he happy? _Did _he like his job and his life?

I didn't know. This man was my best friend, and I'd stupidly cut him out of my life until recently, and now I just...didn't know who he was anymore.

Well. No time like the present to fix that problem.

* * *

As much as I didn't want Kendall to feel like he was obligated to do anything, I really couldn't say no when he offered to cook.

From the time we were teenagers, he'd always been amazing in the kitchen. We'd all encouraged him to go to culinary school, but his mom had insisted he needed a more useful degree. As if being a chef wasn't a respectable job where he could make a solid income, but hey, what did we know?

Anyway, he obviously hadn't lost his touch, and my unfamiliar, half-demolished kitchen didn't slow him down. Once he knew where everything was, he was good to go, only occasionally pausing to ask me where a particular utensil or something was stored.

I stayed out of the way, leaning on the other side of the kitchen island with a cup of coffee while my kitchen filled with the smells of garlic, the sizzling sound of beef, and some kind of savory sauce. It took in a deep breath through my nose. "My God. I don't think my house has smelled this good since I moved in."

Kendall chuckled. He was facing me, chopping some celery on the cutting board. "Don't tell me you've been living on boxed crap and takeout?"

"What?" I put a hand to my chest, feigning offense. "I'll have you know I do cook once in a while."

His eyebrow arched.

I huffed. "I said once in a while."

Kendall laughed. "You're obviously not just living on boxed crap, though." His eyes flicked toward me, almost giving me a up-down despite the counter blocking everything below my ribs. "I mean, you're still in really good shape."

My cheeks warmed, and I smiled. "Oh. Thank you. That's, uh, probably a bit more to do with religious gym attendance than eating right." In a stage whisper, I added, "Don't tell my trainer."

Chuckling, he pushed aside the pieces of one celery stalk, then started on the next one. "I need to get back on that myself."

"What?" It was my turn to give him a up-down, something I usually couldn't do this openly with my straight friends, but Kendall had always been an exception in that department. "You don't look like you've been slacking."

His good humor faded. "I...well, I was going to the gym, and I was eating decently, but the last couple of months…" He sighed. Then he put a hand on his flat stomach. "This is probably more from not eating enough than anything."

I straightened, concern making my own stomach flip. "You haven't been starving yourself, have you?"

"No, no." Kendall shook his head, and he focused intently on chopping the last stalk of celery. "It's just, between the divorce and losing my job, I haven't had much of an appetite for a while. It's been kind of depressing, you know?"

I slouched a little. "Yeah, I guess it would be. But you're doing better now?"

He met my gaze for a second, and let a tiny smile come to life. "Better, yeah." Without elaborating further, he finished with the celery, scooped it all up, and put it into the pot with the sauce. He stirred it a couple of times, then put the lid on to let it simmer while he came back to the cutting board and started dicing some tomatoes.

Silently, I watched him, wondering how much to press about his state of mind. I wasn't at all surprised that he'd been depressed, even to the point of not eating, but how deep did that depression run? How bad had the last few months really been?

I was still formulating a tactful way of asking when he spoke up.

"You know, it's crazy. I feel like I know nothing about you anymore." His voice was tinged with sadness, and maybe some regret. "Are you...I don't know. How are _you _doing? In general?"

A pang of way too many emotions hit me in the gut. Resentment was in the lead, and I had to fight to keep the accusations out of my tone as I countered with, "Why don't we know much about each other anymore?"

His eyes flicked toward me. "You didn't answer my question."

"No, but mine feels a little more pressing." I leaned over my arms on the island. "We were tight for _years_, even after we ended up in different states. And then we just...weren't." I cocked my head. "What happened?"

Kendall's hands stopped. He stared down at the tomatoes he'd been dicing, and sighed. Then, pushing shoulders back, he looked at me across the island. "It isn't like we can change the past, but maybe we can do better in the future." He smiled again, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Living in the same state will help, right?"

"True." I whispered. _Don't change the subject. I deserve an answer, damn it. _"I guess living in the same _house _will, too."

Kendall nodded. As he resumed chopping, he said, "Hopefully that part won't last too long." He was silent for a bit before adding, "I mean, I don't want to impose on you forever, you know?"

"Of course. I gotcha." So why did the thought of him moving out depress me? He probably wasn't leaving the area. We'd still be able to see each other. I didn't need to keep under my roof to keep him in my life. Right?

Ah, that was it. He'd been gone so long, I was afraid of losing him all over again. The last time we'd seen each other five years ago, we'd hugged goodbye as always, and I'd walked away without worrying for a second that it was the last time. He'd come back to town. I'd get to see him. There'd been no way in hell that moment would be the last one we'd have until _today_.

I watched him silently. He was at the stove, dealing with the meat and sauce, oblivious to me staring at him. Oblivious to the question that had been burning in my chest ever since we'd started talking again recently, and it was still burning there even after he'd tried to avoid it. I hadn't planned to throw it at him quite so soon. Let him get here. Let him settle in and get over jetlag.

But damn it, now that we were in the same room, I couldn't hold it back anymore. Truth be told, it had been eating at me for the last couple of years. That had only gotten more intense recently, and now it was unbearable. _You were my best friend. Why did you leave? _So, carefully schooling my tone, I said, "I'm curious about something."

"Okay?" He glanced over his shoulder, but didn't turn around. Fine. I understood needing to keep an eye on things so they didn't burn.

Thumbing the handle of my coffee cup, I took a deep breath. "I really want to know...why haven't I seen you in five years?"

Kendall's whole body stilled. For a long moment, the kitchen was completely silent except for the faint sizzle of the meat in the skillet.

"One day everything was fine." I said, fighting a losing battle to keep my emotions out of my voice. "Then you left after a visit, and after that, everytime I said I'd be coming through Chicago or something…" I was afraid to continue because I knew the hurt and anger would take over.

Again, he was silent. I waited, giving him a moment to gather his thoughts.

Finally, he turned a couple of dials-probably lowering the heat under the various pots and pans-and came back to the island. He wasn't looking at me as he pressed his palms on the counter and leaned over them. "Listen." He sounded even more tired than he'd been earlier. "I...I should've had more of a spine when it came to my friendship with you."

I blinked, not sure what he meant.

He swallowed. "I had a lot of 'pick your battles' moments with Jo. Especially after the first year or two."

Fury immediately piled on top of the hurt. "Are you...are you saying she wouldn't _let _you see me?"

He let out a sigh, still avoiding my gaze. "I'm saying that every time I wanted to come to Seattle, or whenever I mentioned you might come visit us, it always turned into a fight. A bad one."

"What?" I could barely breathe all of a sudden. "But...why? I didn't think she...well, okay, I know she didn't like me, but…"

He finally met my eyes. "I'm not proud of it, okay? I let her dictate a lot of things in my life, and if there's one I regret more than all the others, it's letting her interfere with our friendship. I was just...I was so exhausted from fighting all the time, and any time there was something I could do to give us one less reason to fight…" He dropped his gaze again and released a long breath.

"For what it's worth-and I know it doesn't change a thing-I've missed you like crazy." With a bitter laugh, he shook his head and stood as he pushed himself upright. "That should've been a huge fucking clue, you know? How much it hurt being away from you, and how much I resented her for keeping us apart like that."

I struggled to absorb everything he'd said. "Why, though?"

He met my eyes. "Why did I let her dictate who I spent time with? Or why did she have it out for you?"

"Both, now that you mention it."

Kendall blew out another breath. He turned away to deal with the food on the stove, though I had a feeling it was partly to give himself an excuse to break eye contact. "If you ask my therapist, he'll tell you the part about me letting Jo run my life was because I married a woman just like my mother. It's what I was used to, so it's what I was drawn to."

I frowned, but didn't speak. I'd never been a big fan of Kendall's mom. My own had insisted that her overbearing ways just came with the territory of raising kids alone. As I'd gotten older, I'd wondered if those overbearing ways had played a part in her husband vanishing off the face of the earth when Kendall was three. Kendall had gotten the fuck out of Seattle as soon as he'd graduated.

Which was also why I'd never bought that he'd stopped coming to Seattle because his mom had moved to California. His friends and extended family he got along with all lived here. And it wasn't like he spent much time in California, at least not according to his social media posts.

Deep down, I'd always suspected it was a different woman in his life who'd kept him from coming home. A woman who Kendall's therapist-and his best friend-thought bore a striking resemblance to his mom. Sometimes it sucked being right.

I cleared my throat. "So why did she have it out for me?"

Kendall's shoulders sagged. He wasn't doing anything with the food now, but he still didn't turn around. When he finally broke the silence, it was with the last answer I could have possibly anticipated.

"Because she thought I was going to leave her for you."

* * *

**Done! So, Kames are officially living together! We also found out why Kendall hasn't seen James in five years.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I won't keep you all waiting too long for the next chapter. I'm hoping to have it up within the next few days. :)**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again everyone! :D So, this was supposed to be up days ago, but I've been a little under the weather this past week. I'm finally starting to feel better, so hopefully more updates will be coming soon. :)**

**Before we get started with the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing! **

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I couldn't face him.

Now that the words were out, I wanted to throw up, and I wasn't even sure why. Jo and I had fought more times than I could count over her obsessive fear that it was only a matter of time before I packed up and left her for James.

"_I've seen the way he looks at you, Kendall! That man is in love with you."_

"_So what if he is? I'm straight."_

"_Are you sure about that? Because I've seen how _you _look at _him_."_

Movement behind me made the hair on my neck stand up. James was coming around the kitchen island, bare feet landing softly on the linoleum. He stopped behind me, maybe an arm's length away, and I couldn't breathe as I waited for him to speak.

"Kendall."

I winced. Then, slowly, turned to face him.

I had no idea what expression to expect, but what I saw hit me in the chest-a mix of hurt and concern in his wide eyes and creased forehead. Like everything I'd told him had cut him to the bone, but he was still worried about me, which did nothing to soothe my conscience.

_Can't you just be mad for once? Please?_

James swallowed, and his voice was so soft it was barely audible. "Did you ever think I would try to break up your marriage?"

I stared at the floor between us, and slowly shook my head. "No. Never. No even when…" I winced again.

His hand materialized on my arm, the gentle touch almost moving me to tears. "You know whenever I asked if you were happy, or if things were-"

"I know." I whispered.

"It wasn't something selfish. I really want you to be happy." He squeezed my arm. "I would never have tried to take you away from her even if you _were _into guys. I just wanted you to be okay."

Nodding, I exhaled. "I tried to explain that to her, but she was...I mean, hell. She was convinced I was sleeping with everyone who moved. Male or female. Especially since I had to go to people's houses to do my job."

James made an aggravated sound, and I didn't even have to see him to know he was rolling those beautiful eyes.

"Insecure much?"

"You think?" I responded, holding back the part where James was the one and only person she'd ever forbidden me from seeing at all.

She'd been convinced I was fucking anyone and everyone, but she was utterly certain that whatever was happening between me and James ran deeper than sex. Why that was more of a threat, I had no idea, only that she didn't try to stop me from seeing any of the people I was allegedly fucking.

She'd guilt the shit out of me over them, and call me or show up at my office at random times to try to bust me, but she'd put her foot down with James. She'd scream at me and browbeat me over everyone else, but she'd cry over him, and what the fuck could I do? The only thing more exhausting than fighting was groveling.

I glanced at everything on the stove to make sure it was all cooking properly. Then I turned to him again. "You want to know what's really fucked up?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. "This is not a very enjoyable line of 'but wait, there's more'."

"You're telling me."

He tilted his head, expression softening. "So, what's really fucked up?"

"We're divorcing because Jo's leaving me for her boss."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope. I caught her cheating with him about a year ago, and then-"

"Wait, wait, wait." James shook his head, Leaning against the island, he stared at me incredulously. "You busted her cheating a _year _ago? But you didn't leave her?" Before I could answer, the surprise in his expression melted into something more like sympathy, and I knew he'd figured it out. Or...mostly figured it out. He sighed, still holding my gaze. "She apologized and promised never to do it again, didn't she?"

"Apologized isn't really the word I'd use."

His eyebrow rose and his lips pursed to one side, and I almost had to laugh with the sheer relief of seeing his classic "I'm about to say something bitchy" expression.

_Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?_

"So what word would you use?" He asked in a flat tone.

"Well, my therapist went with deflection. After I caught her, she just kept going back to how I kept lying and was obviously fucking around, so she'd had to go find someone else, too."

James covered his face with his hands and almost muffled a few choice names for my ex-wife. When he lowered them again, he looked in my eyes. "She really had you beaten down, didn't she?"

"Just a bit." I rubbed my eyes. "I can't decide if it was all a smokescreen. Like, if she was so paranoid about me cheating, then she must hate cheaters, and so I'd never suspect a thing." I dropped my hand. "Or if she genuinely thought I was cheating, and that me cheating on her was this horrific sin even while she was doing the same damn thing."

James winced. "She really is like your mom, isn't she?"

I nodded. I'd been around that block with my therapist enough times, I didn't even bother getting defensive about it anymore. "I know I should've left a long time ago, but it's over now. All I can do is move on." I paused for a deep breath. "And apologize to you for not sticking to my guns."

"Don't." He shook his head. "You're back in my life now, and that's all I really care about." His words made my guilt burn even hotter.

_I seriously gave you up just to keep the peace with her?_

Before I could think of something to say, James stepped closer and hugged me. I stiffened for a split second, startled by the gesture, but then I wrapped my arms around him even tighter than I had at the airport. Squeezing my eyes shut, I just held him for a moment.

Some of my other friends had always been weirded out that I was so close to a gay dude, especially one as touchy-feely as James, but I'd never cared. James had been my best friend since long before he'd come out, and nothing had changed since then. He'd always been more physical with me than he was with other straight guys because he had no reason to believe I'd get upset or defensive.

And right now, standing in his kitchen with confessions and apologies hanging in the air, I had never been more grateful for his touchy-feeliness. I'd never told anyone, but I'd always loved how it felt when he hugged me like this. And for that matter, I hadn't even realized until this second how much I needed his effortless physical affection or how starved I'd been for _anyone's _touch.

"_Don't try to tell me that man doesn't love you," _my ex-wife's tear-filled voice echoed in my head.

I held him a little tighter. I was pretty sure he did love me. Not in the way she'd been convinced he had. Not like he was going to try to seduce me away from my marriage. Not like he'd ignore my heterosexuality and move in for the kill.

No, he loved me exactly the way I'd desperately needed someone to love me for a long, long time-unconditionally and without asking for anything in return. Which, hell...maybe Jo _had_ needed to worry about James luring me away from her.

Not because I'd suddenly turn gay and decide I was into him, but because my friendship with him was a hell of a lot better than my relationship with her had ever aspired to be. If he was this amazing as a friend, he must be one hell of a partner, and I caught myself hoping that somewhere out there was a man who would someday make James as happy as he deserved to be.

_Wherever you are, I hope you find him soon._

XxX

"Oh my _god_, that was amazing." James put his fork down on his empty plate. "I'm going to have to step up my sessions at the gym now that you live here."

I laughed, laying down my own utensils. "So you wouldn't protest if I made this again."

"Dude, I'd protest if you _didn't_."

"Good to know. I'll keep it on the list." It had been ages since I'd made stuffed bell peppers. The recipe was one I'd modified over the years, and I'd added a sauce that was more or less like a red sauce for enchiladas. They were definitely different, and they got mixed reviews, but James the picky eater had gone back for seconds, so I figured his compliments were more than lip service.

I started to stand so I could take the dishes, but he motioned for me to stay put.

"I got it." He collected our plates and utensils. "You cooked, like hell are you cleaning, too." I started to protest, but he jabbed a finger at me. "_Sit_."

"Okay, okay." I put up my hands. "Can I at least join you in the kitchen?"

"Fine. But no cleaning."

"Oh, twist my arm." I picked up my wine glass and followed him into the kitchen. Fortunately, there wasn't too much left for him to do. Even when I had a dishwasher, I was in the habit of cleaning while I cooked. I hated washing dishes, and doing one or two at a time was a lot less daunting than facing down a whole sink full of the damn things.

While he scrubbed our plates, he said, "You know, I could go for something sweet."

"Hmm, me too, now that you mention it."

"When I'm done here, you want to go get ice cream?" He grinned sheepishly. "My trainer's already going to kick my ass, so I might as well get some ice cream out of it."

I laughed. "I won't tell if you don't. But yeah, that sounds really good."

"Great. Just give me a couple of minutes, and we can head up to Cold Stone."

"Oh man. I haven't been there in ages."

He glanced up from rinsing off the plate. "Chicago doesn't have Cold Stone?"

"Oh, they're out there. I just never went for some reason." The mood between us had lightened over dinner, and I didn't feel like mentioning that I'd lived with someone who would give me hell if I ate anything that might make me gain weight. Or that the little bit of weight that I _did _gain over the last two years had apparently been part of why she'd resorted to sex with her boss. Kind of ironic that I'd lost a significant portion of that weight in recent weeks. Being dumped for another man really didn't do much for a guy's appetite.

"Hey." James' voice nudged me out of my thoughts. "You spaced out on me." He put the plate into the drying rack and reached for the other one. "You okay?"

"I'm good. Sorry." I laughed as heat rushed into my cheeks. "Just, uh, trying to think of all the other places I haven't eaten in a long time. Is that Greek place we used to go to still open?"

"The one on Capitol Hill?"

"Yeah, the one with that lemon and rice soup you were hooked on."

"I wish." He muttered as he scrubbed the plate. "They shut down a couple of years ago. There's a few new Greek places around downtown and one or two here on the Eastside, but none of them are as good as that place."

"Damn."

"I know, right? There's still plenty of good food around here, though. A lot of new restaurants that I will absolutely drag you to."

I smiled. "Since when have you ever had to drag me someplace where there's good food?"

"Fair point." He returned the smile, a mix of warmth and playfulness in his eyes. "But you've been gone a long time, so I've got a lot of places to show my favorite food snob. So if I _do _have to drag your ass to every amazing restaurant in the area?" He pushed his shoulders back and sighed dramatically. "Then that's what I'll do. For the greater good."

I snorted. "For the greater good, right."

Chuckling, he winked and continued with the dishes.

As we continued shooting the shit, I wondered if he knew how much good it did me just to know he was planning on reintroducing me to Seattle's food scene. To know that in his mind, it was a foregone conclusion that we'd pick up where we'd left off years ago and go back to being inseparable.

And I hoped that was exactly what happened.

* * *

For once, finding a parking space at Redmond Town Center wasn't too difficult. There were two large restaurants beside the biggest parking lot, and on the other side, the open air mall and the movie theatre. On a Friday or Saturday, it would be absolutely teeming with people.

It was Tuesday, though, so the crowd was pretty light. There wasn't even much of a line at Cold Stone, and before long, we were seated at one of the tables outside by the fountain. I dug into my cake batter ice cream with chocolate chips, and Kendall-upon taking his first bite of double fudge with caramel sauce-made a sound that was almost orgasmic.

"Good, isn't it?" I grinned and hoped he didn't notice me trying not to squirm. It was not fair for my incredibly hot and very straight friend to make any sounds in my presence that could be in any way interpreted as sexual. Even if it was directed at his ice cream. Not. _Fair_.

Presumably unaware of my thoughts and goosebumps, Kendall nodded. "I can't believe how long it's been since I've eaten here." He chuckled as he scooped some more ice cream out of the waffle bowl. "Thank you. You know, for 'dragging' me to this place."

"Any time." I paused to spoon out some more of my own. "So, what's your plan? Now that you're here?"

Kendall took a bite, and after he'd swallowed it, he shrugged. "Step one, get a car and get started at the new gig." He rolled his eyes. "Getting a car should be fun with my job situation, but…" He gestured dismissively. "I'll figure it out. Car, job, place to live…"

"Would it help if I co-signed for the car?"

Kendall jumped like I'd kicked him under the table. "What?"

I shrugged. "If it helps, I'm happy to do it."

He stared at me, lips parted. "You...you'd really do that?"

"Kendall." I laughed dryly. "Stop acting so surprised when I try to help you. You're my best friend and you're in a shitty situation." I shrugged again as I scooped out another bite of ice cream. "I'd do it for any of my friends."

"Even after…?"

"Yes. Even after the last five years."

"Oh." He relaxed a little. "I...wow, I really appreciate it. Hopefully I can do it on my own, but yeah, I…" His cheeks colored. "I might take you up on that."

"Just let me know."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. After I'd finished, I pushed the empty cup aside and sat back with my soda. "So, what about everything else?"

"Everything else?" He cocked his head. "Like what?"

"You tell me. You're pretty much starting over. New job. Sort-of-new-city."

"Oh, right." He sighed, staring down at his remaining ice cream as if he wasn't so sure he could finish it. "I guess I haven't thought very far ahead. Getting to Seattle, starting the new job, and getting a car were about it." He paused, snapped off a piece of the waffle bowl, and nibbled on it. "I'm…sort of thinking about downloading Tinder or something."

Good thing I wasn't taking a drink just then. And I had no idea why it surprised me so much. Or did it? Shit, maybe I was just caught off guard by the idea of a newly-liberated Kendall putting himself back out there.

_Oh, you lucky ladies…_

I took a sip, then cleared my throat for good measure. "Oh yeah? Thinking about actually dating, or just hookups?"

Kendall blushed. "I don't know. I've been with Jo for so long, and now I'm out on my own, so I guess I...well, I wouldn't say I want to play the field. I just want to get myself out there and see what happens."

"Good. Good." I smiled across the tiny table. "I mean, there's no reason to rush into another relationship, but getting out there again seems healthier than moping over Jo."

"That's what I was thinking." He watched himself break off another piece of the waffle bowl. "It'd be nice to get laid, too."

Lord help me, if I thought this man possessed one single bisexual molecule, I'd have offered to assist him with that. But he was straight, and I'd never allowed myself to so much as joke with him about us sleeping together. I made the odd crude joke about fitting his junk in my trunk or whatever, but there was a line I carefully toed between saying something clearly meant to be raunchy and ridiculous, and making a comment he might interpret as an actual suggestion.

I'd flirted playfully with straight guys who I knew wouldn't get pissed about it, but never with Kendall because I was terrified he might see through to my pathetic gooey pining-for-him center, and then things might _really_ get weird.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

Before I could speak, Kendall laughed self-consciously. "I'm sorry. That might've been a bit TMI."

"What?" I waved a hand. "You want to get laid. That's not TMI. Hell, _I _want to get laid."

Kendall met my gaze. "You mean you're not...um…"

"Not a shameless slut who uses Grindr as my personal dick buffet?"

"Uh…" He blushed again, darker this time.

"Relax." I laughed. "To be honest, I've just been so busy the last few months, I haven't met many guys at all since my ex left."

"How long has that been? I didn't even realize you'd broken up with anyone until you mentioned him earlier."

I tried not to flinch at the reminder of how separate our lives had been and for how long. "We broke up in November."

"Oh. I'm, uh, sorry to hear that."

"Eh." I made another dismissive gesture. "I was with him for a year that I'm never getting back, and I'm glad the fucker's gone. I wish he'd come and get the rest of his crap from my house, but otherwise, I'd just as soon never see him again. And since he left, I just...haven't done much dating or hooking up." I laughed bitterly. "Guess I got so used to having someone in my bed every night, I got out of practice with putting in the effort to meet anyone."

"I get that." He grumbled. "I don't even know where to start. I met Jo the same way I met every girl I've ever dated. In class."

"You could always sign up for a class, then."

"Maybe. But do people even meet that way anymore? Seems like it's all apps and websites and shit."

"Pretty much. I've met some guys in clubs, but the online stuff is so much more efficient." I paused. "I don't know how it is for you straight weirdos, though."

Kendall laughed, sending my pulse skyward. I'd forgotten how much his smile could light up a room. The fact that we were talking about going out and getting laid didn't do much to keep my vitals from responding to his beautiful laugh.

"It's too bad there aren't clubs we can both go to." He said.

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like…" He crunched thoughtfully on a piece of waffle bowl. "Like obviously we can go into the same places, but they're different scenes, you know?"

"Pfft. You make it sound like dudes never blow dudes in dive bar restrooms."

His eyes widened. "They do?"

"Sure." I smirked. "We walk amongst you, Ken, and sometimes we even get laid right under your nose."

"Oh. I didn't...I didn't know that." He broke eye contact, but only for a second. "So that means we _could _go together?"

_Into the men's room of-_

I blinked. "Would you _want _to?"

"Why not?" He looked at me through his lashes, oblivious to how adorable he was when he was this shy. "I'm not gonna lie-going out alone is kind of intimidating. It's been so long since I've even set foot in a club, and I…" He lowered his gaze.

I wasn't sure what to say. I'd never been a wingman for a straight guy, and I'd never had a wingman at all, so I had no idea how effective either of us would be at getting laid if we went somewhere together.

Still, I was quickly warming up to the idea of going out clubbing with him. It was time with my friend after way too many years apart. I'd get to see him happy and relaxed. I'd get to see him dance, and good God, this man could dance. Just because there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell of him ever dancing with me didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the show.

"That sounds like fun." I said.

His eyebrows jumped. "Really?"

"Sure. Just let me know when you want to go, and you're on."

"Awesome." His face lit up again. "I can't wait."

_You and me both._

* * *

**Done! Looks like things are all good between Kames. So good that it seems that they're going clubbing together soon. I wonder how that'll turn out. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I have no idea when the next chapter will be up, but I hope to have it up sometime this week. It should be up by next weekend at the latest. **

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, XxxAnimaniacxxX, Guest, and TheLoganTrain for reviewing! **

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

When I walked into the dealership, I immediately zeroed in on Kendall and the salesman sitting at a desk by the windows. As I came closer, Kendall gestured at me. The salesman nodded, but deflated a little. I swore I could see _oh fuck, another Millennial _written all over his face.

Suppressing a smirk, I continued in their direction.

When I reached the desk, the salesman rose. "Hi, I'm Chris." Smiling tightly, he extended his hand. "You must be James."

I shook his hand. "That's what my office door says, yes."

He blinked.

Now it was Kendall obviously trying to hold back a smirk. Schooling his expression, he said, "Sorry for the short notice."

"Don't worry about it. I work right up the street, so I took an early lunch. Easy peasy."

"Well, this shouldn't take long." Chris said, clearing his throat and taking his seat again as he gestured for me to take the empty seat beside Kendall. "Just have some forms for you to fill in." Beat. "And of course, we'll have to do a credit check." He eyed me expectantly, as if he was certain I'd balk.

I took a pen out of my shirt pocket and clicked it. "Bring it on."

More confusion and uncertainty played in Chris' expression, but he slid a clipboard with some papers across the desk. "Can I get either of you some coffee?"

"Oh, I could go for some." I smiled sweetly at him as I crossed my legs and balanced the clipboard on my thigh. "Just a little bit of sugar, but otherwise black."

He blinked. I wondered what he'd expected. After a couple awkward seconds, he nodded before getting up and leaving.

As soon as the salesman was out of earshot, Kendall muffled a snort.

I glanced at him, my innocent face still plastered on. "What?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Some things never change, do they?"

"Like what?" I gestured in the direction Chris went with my pen. "I never used to put sugar in my coffee at all."

Chuckled, he gave my leg a playful kick. "Not that. I'm saying you're still the same guy who used to gloat when he got carded for R-rated movies."

I half-shrugged as I started filling out the form. "You would've gloated too if your fake ID was as good as mine." I wagged my pen in his direction. "In fact, I seem to recall you gloating over the fact that nobody ever carded you for shit."

He smirked, and damn if it wasn't that same smug expression he'd always gotten when the box office handed him a ticket without a second glance when we knew damn well they'd want fourteen pieces of ID and notarized permission from my parents for good measure despite him being four months younger than me.

"Guess that baby face of yours is still a double-edged sword?"

"Uh-huh." I rolled my eyes and started writing again. "You know I still get carded for drinks sometimes?"

"I don't doubt it." He spoke without missing a beat, and when I met his gaze, there wasn't even a hint of self-consciousness in his expression. If there had been, I might have cautiously asked just how much he'd been looking at me since he'd moved in. But it was like he didn't even realize it was unusual for a straight dude to notice so much about another guy, and I was afraid me pointing it out would _make _him self-conscious. It might mortify him.

_It might make him stop looking at me like that._

I cleared my throat and once again focused on the paperwork. "Give it time." I said. "Sooner or later, my age is going to catch up with me. I'll probably wake up one morning looking forty-seven."

He laughed. "Yeah. Probably the day you turn eighty." Something about his tone made my spine tingle. Something...wistful? Shit, was I imagining that?

But I didn't let myself steal a glance at his expression to see if his eyes betrayed anything. Truth was, this had always been Kendall's way. It was one of the reasons having a crush on him had always been so excruciating-because every now and then he'd make some comment, or he'd touch me, or we'd make eye contact, and I'd seriously wonder if maybe he wasn't so straight after all. I'd tortured myself with that when we were teenagers. I wasn't going to start that shit again now.

_I'm just not used to it anymore. That's all. _

_Which explains why I can't remember how to spell my last name, what my address is, or where the fuck I work…_

I shook myself and managed to start coughing up all he information the dealership needed to let me co-sign on Kendall's car.

Chris returned a moment later with the coffee I _so _didn't need. I thanked him before taking a polite sip and restraining a decidedly less polite gag. What part of _just a little bit of sugar _did he not understand? I swore this man had just rendered the sugarcane extinct in the process of making my coffee. Blech.

But I not only had a baby face, I had a damn good poker face, and I was pretty sure I made it to the end of both the forms and coffee without tipping my hand. Chris didn't seem to notice how nauseated I was by his weapons-grade sweetening job, and Kendall didn't seem to notice the wheels spinning in my head. Mission accomplished.

"Okay." I handed the clipboard back to Chris and pocketed my pen. "That should be everything."

Chris took the paperwork and skimmed over it. Then he cleared his throat and shot us both a smarmy salesman smile. "Everything looks good." He got up and gestured at the opposite end of the dealership. "I'll have the financing department do their thing, and _if _it comes back approved"-he grimaced like he wasn't optimistic-"we'll go from there."

With a wink, I said, "Do your worst, sweetheart."

His features tightened slightly at the endearment. I smiled to drive it home, and he cleared his throat as he hurried out with the paperwork.

Beside me, Kendall was almost vibrating with amusement.

I kept my poker face firmly in place. "What?"

Kendall patted my thigh as if that was a totally normal thing for a straight man to do, scrambling my thoughts with a gentle touch. "You know what you did."

_I'm pretty sure you don't know what you did, though._

My mouth had suddenly gone dry, and I had to fight to speak, never mind keep my tone casual. "What? He implied my pristine credit wouldn't be approved, and he made my coffee so sweet I'm going to have to swing into the dentist on my way home." I hoped my exaggeratedly indignant huff masked how much my head was spinning "He deserved it."

"Fair enough." And now he was watching me. No, studying me. Focused on me with an intensity I didn't remember from our younger years. Okay, so it had been hard to focus that hard when we'd been stoned or drunk off our asses, but we hadn't _always _been stoned or drunk, so was this something new? Or was my memory fading?

I fought a losing battle against the urge to fidget. "What?"

He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes just slightly.

"Are you okay?" He tensed a bit. "You...you don't mind this, do you? Me calling you down here to co-sign and-"

"Oh my god, no!" A laugh burst out of me. "Are you kidding? Dude, you know me."

"Yeah, I do, but…" He trailed off, but didn't look away. Fuck. His eyes. So focused.

I finally let myself fidget. Goddamn. I was suddenly nervous enough that my internal censor was liable to go completely MIA, and I had to almost literally bite my tongue to keep from suggesting he use a body part _other _than his eyes to drill into me.

That though made my breath hitch, and there was no hiding it. What the hell was wrong with me?

Apparently, I wasn't the only one wondering that-Kendall's gaze intensified even more. "What's wrong?"

_Well you see it all started with this hot straight guy who doesn't even _know _he's eye-fucking me and-_

I coughed again and managed to laugh. "Sorry. I'm sorry." I shook my head. "I guess a part of me is still just getting used to having you back." As soon as the words were out, I wanted to curl up and die. Really? _Really_? _That_ was the best I could come up with? I should've just made the _"drill me with your dick instead of your eyes" _comment and been done with it.

But Kendall...smiled. He blushed, too. Dropping his gaze, he said, "Yeah, same here."

I blinked. "Really?"

"Wel, yeah." He hesitated, and then with some work, faced me again. "I practically ghosted you without explanation, and then when my life fell apart, you opened your door for me and…" He gestured at our surroundings. "You don't think it's a little mind-blowing for me?"

I swallowed. "You didn't...you didn't ghost me. We've still been in touch this whole time." As much as seeing each other on social media and posting _Happy Birthday! _once a year on each other's Facebook walls counted as staying in touch, anyway.

Kendall broke eye contact and stared at something on Chris' desk. "I stopped coming to see you. We practically stopped talking." In a low, bitter tone, he muttered, "Would've been more than that if my ex had her way."

Instantly my hackles went up. I knew about Jo's nonsense, but it still made my teeth grind. "Ken. Look at me."

He did, eyebrows drawn together and forehead creased.

"Stop beating yourself up, okay? Water under the bridge, as far as I'm concerned." I said. "And yeah, I know it's surreal to be back in each other's lives, but tell me you know me better than that. Like you don't actually think I'd leave you up Shit Creek."

"I do know you better than that." His shoulders sank, and the dealership chair creaked under him as he squirmed. "I just thought I blew it, you know? I wouldn't have held it against you if you hadn't reached out." He paused, and his voice was a little thick as he added, "I'm just really grateful you did."

I held his gaze and smiled. He smiled back. Then I ran my thumb alongside his hand and-

Wait.

I dropped my gaze to where my hand rested on top of his on his leg. When the fuck had I taken his hand?

My head snapped up, and I almost jerked my hand away, but Kendall was still smiling at me, and _he _wasn't pulling _his _hand away.

Of course he wasn't. Casual contact like this had always been easy for us back in the day. Apparently it was still easy now-I just needed to get used to it again.

The sharp snap of dress shoes on linoleum broke the spell, and we both turned-and I casually withdrew my hand-as Chris strode toward us. From the way his eyes flicked toward our laps, he'd noticed, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he held up another form. "You're approved!"

Kendall exhaled. "Oh, thank God."

"Honey." I elbowed him and said in a stage whisper, "I told you not to call me that in public."

He laughed, and there was some kind of comeback, but I didn't catch it because I was way too hypnotized by his broad smile after that fraught moment we'd just shared.

_You have no idea how beautiful you are._

Chris flopped down in his chair, dramatically breaking me out of my trance because fuck him. "And you got a _much _lower interest rate than finance or I expected."

I glared at him, as much for pulling my attention from Kendall's laughter as the implication that my credit deserved anything but the best interest rate available. "You sound surprised."

"Well, I…" He met my eyes, and when he blushed, he wasn't nearly as adorable as Kendall. Coughing into his fist, he started shuffling papers around. "Most people end up a little higher than that, so it's...it was...Anyway. We just need to finalize a few things, and you'll be on your way."

_Good. Fewer opportunities for you to put your foot in your damn mouth._

I glanced at Kendall, and my heart sank a little. He was serious again. Sobered, focused, and not touching me. Or letting me touch him.

_How do I make that happen again?_

I banished that though, though. I knew from experience I was only torturing myself if I read too much into our casual, platonic touches. Or the way he looked at me. Or those offhand comments that made me wonder just how often-and how intently-he looked at me. Or if I encouraged those moments and touches and comments to happen more often.

But damn if torturing myself like that wasn't tempting as hell right about now.

* * *

I was seventeen the day I bought my first car.

I'd spent the last year of high school constantly begging my mom to let me take her car so I could go out with friends or drive myself to school instead of taking the bus. Suddenly, I'd been the proud owner of the clunkiest, ugliest piece-of-shit Nissan monstrosity that had over a hundred thousand miles, a few million dents, and made suspicious noises, and I'd been _free_. Any time I'd wanted to-assuming I could put a couple gallons of gas in the tank-I could go anywhere. It was easily one of the best days of my youth.

And somehow, that had nothing on today. Standing there in the parking lot of a car dealership with the keys to a well-used Toyota Camry in hand, I found myself getting weirdly emotional. Why was this so damn overwhelming?

Beside me, James softly asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just, uh…" I coughed, then turned to him and smiled. "A lot more liberating than I expected."

James smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "Of course it is. You can get around now. And you're one step closer to getting your life back together."

I blinked. How the fuck could he read my mind better than I could?

_Because he's always been able to do that._

Facing the car again, I nodded. "That's about the size of it, yeah. Maybe there's hope for me yet, right?"

"Of course there is." He gave my shoulder a squeeze before withdrawing his hand, leaving a cool spot behind. "I never had any doubt."

"That makes one of us." _Please put your hand back._

"Come on, man. You've been dealt some shitty cards recently, but none of it's the end of the world. You've got a job. You've got a car." He paused, and there was a wicked smirk in his voice as he said, "All we need to do now is get you laid."

I groaned. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

James cocked his head. "You don't sound very optimistic."

"Yeah, well." I shrugged, spinning my new key ring on my finger. "I've been out of the game for a while, you know?"

"Eh." He looked me up and down, not even trying to be subtle. When he met my eyes again, he winked and patted my arm. "I don't think you'll have any trouble, dude."

I felt myself blushing, and laughed. "So I've got the James Diamond Seal of Approval. Hear that, ladies?"

He snorted. "Okay, seriously. As long as you don't do something dumb like sending dick pics before the third date, you'll be fine."

"Wait, so it's okay to send dick pics _after_ the third date?"

"Don't know." James shrugged. "I just figure if you play your cards right, she won't need to see pictures of it by the third date, if you know what I mean."

I chuckled. "And here I didn't think you were the type to wait until the third date to get into bed."

"I'm not." He said with mock indignance. "I'm talking about you, not me. If I haven't gone hands-on with his junk by the end of the first night, he's not getting my number." He joked.

Someone coughed, and we both turned to see a middle-aged couple and a balding salesman, all three of whom were staring at us with a mix of bemusement and horror.

Clearing our throats, we turned away again, and both struggled to contain our laughter.

"Okay, okay." He glanced at his phone. "I really need to get my happy ass back to work."

"Right. I don't want you getting back late." I paused. "Thanks again. You're a lifesaver as always."

James smiled, all traces of his mischievousness replaced by warm sincerity. "You're welcome, Ken." He pulled me into a hug. "Enjoy the new ride."

I held on for a second. When had I started actually liking being hugged?

Oh. Right. When it was James. _No one _disliked a James hug, and I'd missed this almost as much as I'd missed him.

As he let me go, he said, "See you tonight?"

"Yeah. See you tonight."

XxX

"So." James smiled as I came up the stairs to the kitchen a few days later. "How was your first day?"

I blew out a breath and loosened my tie. "Good. It was good. Boss seems pretty chill, and the rest of the staff is nice so far."

His smile broadened. "That's great. Seems like it'll work out, then?"

"Well, it's a little early to tell, but so far so good. No complaints."

"Awesome. You hungry?"

"Oh my god, yeah." I took off my jacket and draped it over a chair. "You?"

"Starving, but I don't feel like cooking or going out. If it's not too far below your refined palate, I was thinking maybe we could order a pizza and park on the couch in front of a movie."

Pizza. A movie. Being lazy. Oh, fuck yeah.

"That actually sounds really good." I paused. "You mind if I change clothes first?"

"Of course not." He shooed me out of the kitchen with a wave of his hand. "I'll go ahead and order. You still do pepperoni and pineapple?"

That gave me pause. "You still remember what I put on my pizza?"

James snorted. "Dude, a man doesn't forget when his friend insists on eating something that gross. Don't flatter yourself. I'm just traumatized."

"Traumatized by pizza toppings. Okay, James." I laughed as I headed down the hall, and threw over my shoulder, "We won't talk about what you put on your burgers."

"Shut up."

Still chuckling, I went into my bedroom and shut the door. For a moment, I just stood there, letting the day's fatigue wash over me. It had been a long day, even if it had been relatively easy. I was still learning my way around the office, and they hadn't sent me out on any appraisal calls yet. That would start next week.

Still, I was drained from meeting an entire building full of new people, being briefed on protocols, and trying to ignore that ever-present certainty I was going to screw up and get fired. I'd had that at every job since my first under-the-table part-time job in a shipping department when I was fifteen. I'd thought it would go away, but apparently not.

Then again, I _had _been fired fairly recently, so it was probably a reasonable thing to be worried about.

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands and took a few slow breaths. Everything would be fine. I still had to learn the ins and outs of this particular company, but I knew appraisals. I knew my job. As long as I did it properly-which I always did-I'd be fine. Well, as long as the company didn't get involved with shady shit with a housing lender or throw me under the bus for doing my job…

I shuddered. No point in thinking about that. I had a job. I had no reason to believe this one would take a nosedive like the last one. And for God's sake, I was home for the evening. It was time to relax. Pizza and a movie with my best friend were waiting at the other end of the hall, so why was I standing here in my work clothes, wallowing in worries about things I couldn't control?

With that, I pushed myself off the door and started unbuttoning my shirt while I toed off my dress shoes. I changed into a pair of sweats and a faded sweatshirt, and that alone was enough to kill some of the day's tension. Work was a distant memory. I had nothing to do tonight except be comfortable and chill.

Feeling a hell of a lot better than I had when I'd gotten home, I headed out to the living room to join James for a night of sloth and gluttony.

XxX

I opened my eyes, and panic knifed through the heavy fatigue. Where the hell was I? What time was it? Had I overslept? Oh God, was I late for my _second _day at the new job?

It only took a second to orient myself, though. The room was dark besides the Netflix menu screen glowing on the TV and gently illuminating the pizza boxes still spread out on the coffee table.

James' downstairs rec room. On the couch.

And James was…

I turned my head.

He'd fallen asleep too-leaning against me. His head rested on my chest and at some point, I'd wrapped my arm around his shoulders and he'd draped his across my stomach. We weren't on opposite ends of the couch anymore, either. Somehow, we'd wound up in the middle.

For a moment, I just stared at him and tried to make sense of how we'd gotten here. Should this have been weird having another dude sleeping against me like this? Maybe. Probably? Hell, I didn't know.

All I knew was that I liked how he felt against me. Which must have meant I was more desperate than I'd realized for some human contact. James had always been on the touchy-feely side, but we'd never..._cuddled._

Some of the guys I used to work with-not exactly people I would call friends-would have been on the other side of the room by now, probably losing their ever-loving minds. Then again, they never would have allowed themselves to be on the same piece of furniture as an openly gay man in the first place.

I'd never had an issue with James being gay, and it didn't even seem all that relevant. This wasn't anything sexual. And the more I sat here enjoying the warmth of another human being for the first time in ages, the more I liked it. Like...a lot.

In fact, I must have been seriously starved for human contact because having someone pressed up next to me-having a _man _pressed up next to me-was making me hard. I tried not to fidget as my erection made sitting like this uncomfortable. There was no way to adjust myself without disturbing him, and I decided I could deal with the discomfort for a while.

After a moment, though, James twitched a little. Then he stiffened. Slowly, he lifted his head, and when our eyes met, he jerked back. "Oh shit!" He scrambled away, putting up his hands. "I'm sorry. I am so...oh my god, Kendall, I-"

"Hey. Easy." I patted the air, almost breathless from the sudden coolness where his body had been pressed against mine. "It's okay."

He looked in my eyes, his filled with palpable panic. The light was too dim to tell for sure, but I would have bet money he'd lost a few shades of color. "I…"

"Relax. I'm serious. It's okay."

He held my gaze, still rigid with panic.

"I mean it. I…" I could feel myself blushing, especially as I tried to surreptitiously shift to accommodate my hard-on. "I kind of liked it, actually."

That brought his freak out down a few notches. "Really?"

"Yeah." I half-shrugged. "It's, um, kind of nice to be touched, I guess." _Really nice. Please come back._

Some more tension melted out of his posture, and the embarrassment and panic in his expression shifted to concern. "How long has it been."

"Too long." Two words, and my shoulders suddenly felt heavy. That conversation had way too much potential to get depressing as hell. "Anyway, just...don't worry about…" I gestured at him, then myself. "It's not a big deal."

He studied me uncertainly. "Are you sure? A lot of straight guys...they don't…"

"They're assholes, okay? They're not me." _And they have no idea what they're missing._

He held my gaze again, and after a second, a playful glint appeared in his eyes. "Are you trying to tell me you're not an asshole?"

"Why? You trying to say I am?"

He pressed his lips together, but a smirk still came to life.

I laughed and elbowed him. "Jackass."

He chuckled too before pausing to stretch. "Well, I should probably call it a night. I've got a stupid meeting first thing in the morning." He stuck out his tongue and wrinkled his nose. "Boss might get pissy if I fall asleep in the middle of it."

"Bosses are such dicks like that."

"I know, right?" With a groan, he stood. "What about you?"

I checked the time on my phone. "Yeah, I should get some sleep, too." I stood, and for a second, we held each other's gazes. It was almost like we needed to say something more about how we'd found ourselves a minute ago. I didn't know what to say, though, and he didn't offer anything, so in silence, we headed upstairs and down the hall to our respective bedrooms.

He paused in his bedroom doorway. "Goodnight, Kendall."

"Goodnight."

We exchanged tired smiles. Then his door closed behind him. I closed mine behind me.

As I flicked on the light, Hazel lifted her head and glared at me, one eye still closed and the other full of contempt.

"Sorry." I scratched behind her ears, which earned me a swat and an even more offended look. "Hey! That's my bed, you know."

The other eye opened, and I could just hear the "_Bitch, this is my dad's bed and we both know it. Fuck off." _that she was silently saying.

I laughed, and opened the door a crack in case she wanted to leave. Hopefully that would please Her Highness.

As I started to get undressed, I chuckled. Trust James to have a cat with as much attitude as him, if less filtered. Somehow, I didn't see Hazel sneaking up to cuddle against me during the night.

I stopped, belt partially unbuckled, and stared at one of the two doors separating us from each other. I'd never imagined James cuddling up with me like that, either. Or me moving toward him for the same. Who had initiated it, anyway? Had either of us been awake for it, and my brain was just too fuzzy to recall the details?

Mind still whirring, I continued getting undressed.

James had always been extra careful with hsi straight friends. Whether he knew how we felt about gay dudes or not, he wasn't naive. A guy could insist till he was blue in the face that he was fine with his friends being gay, but a split second of unintentional contact would bring out his true colors in a hurry. So I didn't see James throwing caution to the wind with a straight guy. Not even me.

And now that I thought about it, as much as I was itching for someone-or even James' grumpy ass cat-to curl up with me tonight, it was entirely possible that _I'd_ been the one to make the first move. Consciously or unconsciously, I might have been the one to reach out to him.

I swallowed hard as I tossed my clothes in the hamper. Apparently I was hungrier for human contact than I'd realized. Maybe James was right and I really did need to go out and get laid.

Except tonight hadn't been about sex. God knew what had happened and how we'd ended up arranging ourselves the way we had, but it hadn't been sexual at all. Okay, so my body might have thought otherwise, but that probably had more to do with the fact that I hadn't touched anyone-sexually or otherwise-in ages.

Whatever it was, now I was seriously craving affection. I wasn't sure how to suggest deliberately doing what we'd accidentally done tonight, so cuddling on the couch with James was probably out of the question. Putting myself out there in the dating pool, though? I could do that. Maybe. Or a hookup? Casual sex with a stranger didn't sound appealing, but it did sound better than sleeping alone.

And yet, somehow not nearly as appealing as waking up with James leaning against me.

What the fuck was I supposed to make of that?

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like Kendall's starting to notice some..._things_. I wonder where that will lead. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will most likely be up very soon, and by soon, I mean within the next few days. ;)**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, and Guest for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

For the first time since he'd moved in, I dreaded seeing Kendall in the morning.

He'd been cool with things last night, but how would he feel now that he'd had a chance to sleep on it?

_I could always leave early for work. Get there in time to catch up on emails before the meeting. Then I-_

Quiet footsteps came down the hall. Shit. So much for ducking out like the coward I absolutely was this morning.

Hazel trotted in a few steps ahead of Kendall, and bumped against my leg hard enough to almost buckle my knee.

"Hey." I wagged a finger at her. "You make Daddy spill his coffee, we're going to fight."

She sat down and glared up at me, long black tail twitching behind her on the linoleum.

I put my coffee cup aside, crouched, and scooped her up. "Listen here, Little Miss Attitude Problem."

Kendall took a mug down from the cupboard. "She's a cranky little shit, isn't she?"

"Who, Hazel?" I hugged her tighter, and she planted her paws against my chest, shoving back and staring at me in abject horror. "What makes you say that?"

"Besides the fact that I think she's trying to kill you with her mind?"

"Yeah, well…" I balanced her on my hip like a toddler and, with my free hand, pulled the can of treats down from above the fridge. As soon as it rattled, Hazel perked up. Instead of trying to push me away, she started kneading on my shoulder and purring.

Kendall laughed. "Ah, so bribing her is the secret."

"Uh, yeah?" I popped the lid with my thumb. "You want the love of a little black heart like hers, you _buy _that shit."

"Like cat, like owner?"

"Hey!" I scoffed as I dug a few treats out. "I resemble that remark."

"Uh-huh. That's what I thought."

I gave Hazel a couple of treats, kissed the top of her head just to see that look like I'd offended all her ancestors, and then set her down. She huffed audibly before strutting out of the kitchen, probably to the laundry room for her breakfast.

"She really knows how to keep you in line, doesn't she?" Kendall said into his coffee cup.

"Yeah, she does." My humor quickly faded. Without my cat to hold the spotlight, last night was front and center in my mind. My skin prickled and my stomach twisted; when had being in such close proximity to Kendall ever made me this twitchy?

Okay, this wasn't going to work. If I left for the office now, I'd be worried all day and wouldn't be able to concentrate or even sit still until tonight. Might as well do it now and be done with it.

"So, um..." I pressed my palms onto the counter. "Just to clear the air...we're cool after last night, right?"

Kendall blinked in surprise. "Of course we are."

I raised an eyebrow.

He raised one, too. "What?"

Drumming my fingers, I shifted my weight. "I don't have too many straight friends who'd be okay with me going full spider monkey on them while they were asleep on my couch."

"To be fair, unless you physically dragged me to the middle of the couch, I did my part."

I straightened. "Physically...what?"

Kendall smiled sleepily. "When I first sat down, I was at the opposite end from you. When we woke up, we were both in the middle."

The memory of waking up in his arms played through my mind, and I realized he was right. In fact, I distinctly remembered coming back from the kitchen with drink refills and sitting closer to the middle. Then later, after he'd gotten up to use the bathroom, he'd come back and taken the cushion beside me instead of the one on the end. Not quite touching me, but not exactly avoiding me either.

I wasn't sure he'd even realized what he was doing. I was always hyperaware of my proximity to someone straight, so I'd been absolutely zeroed in on how close we were.

Until I'd fallen asleep, anyway.

I swallowed. "So, you know I wasn't trying to cop a feel or something."

"Of course I know that. And to be honest…" He gnawed on his lower lip and stared at the linoleum between us. "I didn't mind it. At all. I meant what I said about liking it."

"You did?"

"Yeah." He took a breath and met my gaze again. "I'm serious about how long it's been since anyone's touched me. It was...I guess it was just nice to know someone wanted to."

My jaw fell open. "What?"

Kendall sighed, leaning hard against the counter and half-shrugging. "It's only been a few weeks since Jo and I signed the papers, but believe me when I say our marriage has been over for a _long _time."

I wet my suddenly dry lips, but had no idea what to say.

"I mean, we still had sex sometimes, but even that was more…" His eyes lost focus. "I guess it was more like scratching an itch. Or something to do besides fight. But all the affectionate stuff? A kiss goodnight or cuddling after sex?" Gaze still distant, he shook his head. "All that dried up so long ago, I couldn't even tell you how long it's been."

"Jesus, Kendall." I whispered.

"It is what it is." His shoulder lifted in another half-shrug, though this one seemed to take some work. "And it was on both of us. We both stopped putting in the effort, and…" He rolled his hand as if to say _do the math_.

"Still. I can't imagine living with someone and never-" My mouth snapped shut when he met my eyes. I quickly added, "Living with a partner, I mean."

He smiled. "I know what you meant. And it sucked, believe me. That's something I don't ever want to have again when I do find someone else." He turned serious, and looked right in my eyes. "So yeah, last night wasn't something I expected, but I'm really glad it happened."

My heart wanted to literally break at the twin realization of how touch-starved he was and that my touch was just a stopgap until the right woman came along. Maybe that second part made me selfish, but emotions were what they were, and being in love with a man like Kendall could really fucking hurt sometimes.

I cleared my throat and managed a comfortable laugh. "And here I thought it would make things weird between us."

Kendall smiled, stepping a little closer and putting a hand on my arm. "Come on. You know me better than that."

Pretending not to notice all the sparks that gentle touch sent all the way down to my toes, I said, "Yeah, I do. And if something happens again, I promise I won't post on Facebook about our manly cuddle nights."

He laughed, and I couldn't help laughing, too. My heart still ached for him and for that stupid torch I was still carrying, but it was hard not to smile when he did. Especially when he stepped even closer, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me tight.

"Thanks for everything." He whispered.

"Any time, Ken." I shut my eyes and held on for a moment. At the end of the day, last night had been good for him, and it had been good for me, too. A bit like torture, but still. That-and this-was as close as I'd ever get to him, so I wasn't going to complain.

At least he wasn't out of my life anymore.

XxX

"Hey, did you get an email from Camille Roberts?"

I looked up from grating cheese for a salad. "Camille Roberts? As in, Camille Roberts from high school?"

"Yeah." Kendall glanced over from the stove, where he was sautéing some chicken. "I got an email from her this afternoon. I guess she's coordinating our class reunion."

"Our class-" I did a double take. "Lord, please tell me is is _not _time for our ten-year already. We just graduated, like, last week."

"Afraid so." He nudged the sizzling chicken around the pan. "Looks like they're renting out a ballroom."

I snorted as I took out my phone. "Classy. Well, let's see if I made the list." I opened my email browser, and sure enough, Camille has sent me an email, too.

_It's that time already! _I could practically hear her chirping through the Comic Sans and exclamation points. _It's been 10 years, and we want you to come join us for a night of nostalgia and catching up with friends!_

"Catching up with friends, huh?" I quirked my lips. "Because we're such good friends that we stayed in touch for the last ten years."

"Like we did?"

I lifted my gaze, not quite sure how to respond to that.

Kendall sighed, and continued chasing pieces of chicken around the frying pan. "I mean, sometimes people lose touch, you know? And we graduated before social media was a huge thing, so losing touch was easy." He paused, shoulders dipping slightly. "Imagine how hard it would have been for us to stay in contact at all if it hadn't been for Facebook."

"Good point. But I actually _wanted _to stay in touch with you. There weren't really a lot of people in high school who needed to stick around, you know?"

"Fair enough."

I watched him for a moment. "Are you planning on going?"

Kendall shrugged. He took the frying pan off the heat and started guiding the pieces of chicken onto a plate. "I think I will. I can't really think of anyone I want to reconnect with in the long term, but there are a few people I wouldn't mind catching up with for an evening."

"Hmm. Yeah, I can see that. And I can think of a few people it would be nice to see for a bit."

He glanced at me. "So you'll go?"

"Maybe." Beat. "Probably. But you're driving so I can drink."

Kendall laughed. "Deal."

We continued making dinner, which consisted of me throwing together a salad and opening a bottle of wine while he did everything else. He made chicken with some sort of sauce that smelled amazing, a side dish that was like turkey stuffing but somehow different, and fresh green beans cooked so they still crunched instead of going limp. And he made it all from scratch too, and cleaned the kitchen as he went so it was spotless by the time we sat down to eat. Fucking showoff.

While we ate, we mused a bit more about the people we might see at our reunion, and the more I thought about it, the more I warmed up to the idea of going. Especially if I had Kendall with me.

My high school years had been rough, but there'd been good times, too. There'd been classmates who were friendly even if we'd never really become friends. Like the girl who'd sat next to me in history our senior year. I'd have to go dig up a yearbook to remember her name, but we'd always gotten along. We'd run in different circles and had different interests, but for fifty-five minutes every day, we were friends. I hoped she came to reunion.

Halfway through dinner, my phone buzzed. "Oh God." I muttered, putting my fork down. "If this is work, I will blow my fucking stack."

"No rest for the weary, eh?"

"Not at that place, no." I checked the screen. And instantly, my mood soured. Fuck. This? Now? _Really_?

"Work?" Kendall asked.

"Nope." I sighed. "My fucking _ex_."

Kendall straightened, alarm widening his eyes. "What about him?"

"He's finally coming by to pick up some of his crap." I slammed the phone facedown on the table. "About damn time, but ugh, I do _not_ want to see him."

"When is he coming by?"

"Tomorrow night." I picked at my chicken, furious that my ex-boyfriend's mere existence was screwing with my ability to enjoy this amazing food. "He'll be by around six." I paused, then peeked at Kendall. "I'm sorry. I'd tell him to come back when you're not here, but he's threatened me with a lawyer if I-"

"Like hell he's coming when I'm not here." Kendall growled with startling fury. "If he's enough of an asshole to be threatening you, and to make you that pissed off just by texting you, I think it's better if I'm here."

Ah, I'd forgotten about his snarly protective side. "Eh, he's harmless." I speared a piece of chicken. "Just loud and obnoxious."

Kendall frowned.

"I mean it. He's an asshole, but I'm not scared of him or anything."

"Still." He picked up his wineglass. "I think I'd rather be here just in case he decides to try something."

The familiar protectiveness sent warmth rushing through me. "You sure?"

He met my eyes, and his expression was a mixture of sweet and fierce. Oh, it had been a long time since I'd seen Mama Bear Kendall. The last time had probably been senior year when I'd been trying really, really, _really _hard not to turn into a sobbing mess over that asshole Beau dumping me on Valentine's Day.

"_I will break him in half." _Kendall had seethed. _"Where is that fucker?"_

Tonight, his voice was much calmer if still _faintly _menacing as he said, "I'll be here."

XxX

Fridays were supposed to be relaxing. The weekend was here, for God's sake!

But no, I had to spend the whole day with indigestion over the thought of facing my ex. By the time I got home, my hands were achy from gripping the wheel and trying to calm my nerves.

"Hey." Kendall watched me from the kitchen doorway as I shakily filled a glass of water. "You okay?"

"I will be once he's been here and gone." I took a deep swallow, wishing someone had magically replaced the water in the pipes with gin or something. No such luck.

"Listen." He said, his voice gentle. "I have no idea how this is gonna go down because I don't know much about this guy. But you're obviously nervous."

I set the glass on the counter, the double clink giving away the unsteadiness of my hand. "I told you, he's not dangerous. I just...don't like being around him anymore."

"I know." Kendall came closer and put a hand on my shoulder. "And I promise, I'll stay back, but if you want me to step in or if you want me to call the cops, just say so. I won't do anything unless you ask me to, but I'll help any way I can if you do."

I smiled for the first time in hours. "You're the best, you know that?"

He smiled too, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

_I think I will be as long as you're here._

But I just said, "Thanks."

"Any time."

The sound of a car pulling up nauseated me. I closed my eyes and steeled myself. "Well, here we go." I started for the door, but Kendall stopped me with a hand on my elbow.

"I'm serious." He said softly. "Just say the word, and I'll step in."

I nodded and repeated, "Thanks."

He let me go, and I went downstairs and out onto the porch as Jett was getting out of his car.

"Hey." Jett said with a huge smile. "It's good to-" He froze, eyes flicking past me, and the smarmy smile vanished. I didn't have to glance back to see if Kendall had joined me on the the porch, but I did, and damn-if looks could kill, Kendall would've dropped Jett where he stood.

"Easy." I whispered.

Kendall put up his hands and said nothing.

"Can we just do this?" Jett slammed his car door, all traces of his over-the-top cheerfulness gone in an instant. "Where's all my shit?"

Without speaking, I came down the steps and entered the code for the garage door. Kendall and Jett exchanged icy glares while the door took its sweet time opening, and once it was high enough for me to duck under and go inside, I did.

"It's all right here." I gestured at the stack of plastic totes. "Right where you left it."

He stomped up and grabbed the handles on one, but didn't pick it up. "You got a new man already?"

I set my jaw. "Already? Fuck you. And not that it's any of your business, but he's just a friend."

Jett glared at Kendall, who was off to the side just outside the open door. My ex gave a grunt of annoyance, then picked up the tote and started toward his car again.

As he passed Kendall, he said, "You got a problem?"

"Nothing that won't be solved by you getting the fuck out of here." Kendall said coolly.

They exchanged a long, venomous glare before Jett continued toward his car.

Kendall turned to me, and a faint smile played at his lips. He shrugged, and I could just hear his silent _What? He started it._

Rolling my eyes, I pressed my lips together to stifle a laugh. Kendall had promised to keep his mouth shut, but Jett had initiated conversation and, well, I didn't disagree with anything Kendall had said.

It was kind of surprising how quickly the two of them had started hating each other.

Well, not Jett. He didn't like _any _man speaking to me. But prior to about two minutes ago, Kendall hadn't even _met _Jett. My entire relationship with the dickwad had come and gone in the five years since Kendall. I didn't think I'd said much about him, but maybe I had. Or maybe he'd just caught on to me being twitchy as fuck after Jett had texted me. I didn't do subtle very well when it came to assholes like him.

And as it turned out, for as much as I'd worked myself into frenzy over Jett coming by, the encounter wasn't so bad. Aside from some nasty looks and muttered comments, nothing really happened. He collected his shit, put it in his car, and left.

And...that was it.

He was gone.

Completely exorcised from my house, out of my life, and _gone_.

"Well that was anticlimactic." Standing there in the empty driveway, I raked my hand through my hair. "Now I feel kind of stupid for making such a big deal out of this."

"No, don't." Kendall stood beside me, leaning against the garage as his hackles went down. "You should see me whenever I have to deal with Jo. I get it."

I searched his eyes as if I actually thought I'd find anything but total sincerity. Of course I didn't. Kendall wasn't like that.

"Still." I muttered as I sagged against my car. "The way I wound myself up, you'd think he was going to come over here and…" I didn't finish the thought. My stomach was still too queasy for that. "I need a fucking drink."

"If you want to go out for a few drinks, I'll drive."

I turned to Kendall. "Hmm?"

"I've got a car now. Why don't I drive, and you can cut loose for an evening?"

God, he was sweet. "I would so take you up on that, except I was thinking of going downtown to meet up with some friends at Celebz. It's, um…"

"A gay bar?"

I nodded.

Kendall shrugged. "I don't mind a place like that." He put up a hand. "But I mean, if you've got plans with friends, I totally understand if-"

"It's not that." I said quickly. "I'd...I mean, I'd really love to bring you along." _I don't want to be away from you. Ever. _"And introduce you to everyone. Just...it's a gay bar, and pretty much all my friends are gay. That might not be your scene." _Please come anyway._

He laughed dryly. "You make is sound like I even know what my scene _is _these days."

_Presumably not a gay bar, Ken._

On the other hand, the place where I usually met my friends was more like a karaoke bar that happened to be frequented by gay people. It wasn't a meat market like the place up the street. It was just a place for people to chill with a few drinks, some awful singing, and their friends without getting the stinkeye from some of the straight folks.

I could think of a lot of people who wouldn't be able to handle a place like that-God forbid they be confronted with someone who's gay in the wild-but Kendall? Yeah, he'd probably do all right.

"If you really think you'll be comfortable," I said, "you're more than welcome to join us."

He searched my eyes. "What about you? Do you mind me tagging along?"

I smiled as if I hadn't been mentally begging him to be glued to my side for the night. "Not at all. In fact, let's get an Uber so you can have a couple drinks, too. I think you deserve it after putting up with my ex."

"He wasn't so bad." He paused. "Not for me, anyway."

"Still." I gestured at the house. "Let's go get dressed and I'll get an Uber on the way."

XxX

"You're sure you're comfortable with this, right?" I asked Kendall as the Uber stopped in front of Celebz.

"Of course." He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because...I mean, this is…"

"James. Come on." He rolled his eyes as he opened the car door. "Are you really asking me if I'm comfortable going into a gay bar?"

"Well…" I chewed my lip. "Kinda, yeah."

He shot me a look. Then we got out of the car, and after I'd tipped the driver on the Uber app, Kendall added, "If I wasn't comfortable, I wouldn't be here."

I held his gaze.

Kendall smiled. "Chill. You know me."

"Yeah, I do. But have you ever even _been _to a place like this?"

"You mean besides the time we drove up to Canada so you could drink on your nineteenth birthday, and we went to a drag show? A drag show that, if memory serves, was at a gay bar?"

I pursed my lips. "Okay. Fair point." And now I felt stupid for bringing it up.

I hadn't known a lot of straight guys who'd voluntarily join me at a place like this, but Kendall had a point. We'd gone to that club in Vancouver, laughed ourselves senseless during the hysterically funny drag show, and then basically made friends with everyone in a twenty-foot radius. I couldn't imagine Kendall suddenly deciding he wasn't into that.

So, I led him inside and searched the room for my friends. They weren't hard to find-my group nearly always claimed the same booth. It was far enough from the speakers to allow conversation, close enough to the bar that we didn't have to walk thirty miles for a drink, with a perfect view of the dancefloor if anyone was on the prowl or just wanted to enjoy the scenery, and with an equally awesome view of the stage for karaoke nights like tonight.

Someone always showed up early to commandeer it, and it was rare for us to wind up at another booth. Or "in the slums" as Lucy always said.

The music was loud enough that we had to raise our voices a little, but this wasn't one of those places where you had to shout or resort to texting just to have a conversation. Perfect place to hang out as far I was concerned, and exactly where I needed to be. I'd barely stepped in through the front door before the tension from my encounter with Jett started melting away.

My friends waved from across the room, and I nodded in acknowledgement.

The group was comprised of some friends I'd met in chat rooms a few years ago, and a couple of people we'd brought in over time. Some had introduced their friends and partners to the group. Occasionally, we picked up a stray wallflower looking lonely at a club, or befriended someone who was getting creeped on. People came and went, and when we met up, there was usually a handful of us, give or take one or two.

After Kendall and I had snagged a couple of drinks, we joined the group, and I introduced Kendall around. Kendall stuck close to me, sitting or standing beside me pretty much constantly.

I knew that had nothing to do with being a straight man among gay people, though, and everything to do with Kendall. Once he'd warmed up to people, he was outgoing and confident-the kind of guy who could make friends with anyone-but sometimes he had a shy streak, especially if he was the new guy in a group of people who already knew each other. In a situation like that, he'd stick with anyone he did know until he was comfortable mingling on his own.

In fact, within an hour, we'd drifted away from each other. He was lost in conversation with Lucy, who was raving about her girlfriend's band and trying to get him to come to the next show. I ended up back at the booth having a heated debate with Dak and Logan about where we thought the writers were taking a particular show we were all hooked on.

Then Logan's boyfriend, Carlos, showed up and they disappeared to the bar for another round while Dak and I continued talking about work and random shit like that. After our conversation had wound to an end, he went to get another drink.

Kendall appeared beside me and held up his empty glass. "I'm going to get a refill. You want one?"

"Yeah, thanks." I reached for my wallet. "How much do-"

"I got this one." He cut me off and waved me away. "You bought the last round."

I shrugged. "Fair enough."

He turned to head to the bar, and just for the hell of it, I watched him go.

God, the things I would do to that man if I ever had half a chance. I didn't bother tamping down the thought. I was pretty much used to my brain tormenting me like that when Kendall was in the room. Especially when he'd worn jeans that held onto that perfect ass like-

I jumped as Lucy sidled up next to me and nodded toward Kendall. "You didn't tell me you had a new man."

"I don't."

She arched an eyebrow. "Could've fooled me."

I scowled. "I wish, believe me. He's my roommate."

"But…" She glanced at him, then back to me. "How…"

"That man"-I pointed emphatically at Kendall-"is straight."

Lucy snorted and shook her head. "Bullshit."

"Trust me. I'd have snagged him _years _ago if he had a single gay bone in his body, but…" I sighed. "Nope."

My friend watched Kendall for a long moment. Then she shook her head again. "I don't buy it."

I shot her a look. I really wasn't in the mood to get my hopes up about the man I couldn't have, especially a couple of hours after he'd been poised and ready to play knight in shining armor if my ex had gotten out of line.

Lucy smirked. "Okay. Let's say hypothetically that you're right, completely ignoring the fact that he is a straight dude who's completely comfortable in a gay club full of gay people with his gay roommate."

I glared at her, and wanted to protest that we'd had other straight guys tag along with our group before. But I didn't because... well, because guys like that were pretty fucking rare. And most of them usually came with us because they were attached to one of the girls in the group. And they usually clung to those girls for dear life as if all the scary queer people might pounce on them the instant they weren't making blatantly heterosexual contact with women. And they were usually guarded as hell if a remotely flamboyant man so much as peeked in their direction because apparently it was contagious or something

Kendall wasn't like that at all. He chatted with anyone. If someone was particularly handsy and casually touched him, he didn't recoil. When someone approached him for a dance, he bowed out politely and didn't act like the proposition had offended him. None of that surprised me because I'd always known Kendall was different from the majority of straight men I knew, but bringing him here made those differences stand out.

I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. "Okay, ignoring all of that...go on?"

Lucy glanced at Kendall again, then back at me, and as she met my eyes, she wagged a finger in Kendall's direction.

"If he's so straight," She said in a conspiratorial whisper, "then why have I seen those pretty green eyes following at least three male asses across the room?"

I fixed my gaze on Kendall, who was talking animatedly with a red-headed guy while he waited for our drinks.

And I had no idea how to answer Lucy's question.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like things are getting interesting. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will more than likely be up within the next few days, so you won't have too long of a wait for that. :)**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with another chapter!**

**Before we get started, i would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and winterschild11 for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The club was great, and within about ten minutes, I'd decided I loved James' friends. It usually took me a while to warm up to new people-I'd always been that way-but this group was fun and relaxed. It was impossible not to get into the groove of bantering and chatting. A couple of drinks had me feeling pretty damn good, too; I was really glad James had suggested taking an Uber instead of one of us driving.

As I sat at the booth next to James while Dak told us a wild-and probably somewhat exaggerated-story about a road rage incident from earlier in the week, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

Who the fuck was calling me this late on a Saturday night? I took it out, read the screen, and groaned.

"Ugh, fuck my life." Apparently James wasn't the only one whose ex could drop the buzzkill hammer at the most inconvenient times.

"What's wrong?" James slung an arm around me, leaning in so close his warm cheek brushed mine, and peered at my phone. I could tell the instant he recognized my ex-wife's photo by the way he tensed all over, as if his irritation with her had effortlessly eliminated all the alcohol in his system. "What the hell does she want?"

"No idea, but I better take this." I gestured at the door. "I'll be back in a minute."

James frowned. I suspected it would've been a barely noticeable shift in his expression had he been sober, but alcohol did tend to make him a bit less subtle.

"Dude, don't let her kill your buzz."

"I won't." I flashed what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "She probably just needs to touch base about the divorce."

James didn't look convinced. The frown deepened. One eyebrow arched.

"Relax." I said. "If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, come and drag me back in."

His lips quirked. "Ten. Because they'll be calling me up to do karaoke soon, and you'd better be here."

"Deal." I touched my forehead in a mock salute, then made my way through the crowd and out into the parking lot. Of course by then her call had ended, but I called her back.

"Hey." I said when she picked up. "Sorry about that. What's up?"

"Are you driving?" She asked as if she cared.

"No, I'm…" _Out with people you wouldn't like. Out and about, wondering if it's too early to get drunk, laid, or both. Out with the man you think I'm in love with. _I cleared my throat. "What do you need?"

"I…" She sighed.

My gut knotted. "You, um...is this about the divorce?"

"Yeah. It is." Another heavy sigh, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Oh God. I knew that tone. Three words and an exhale, and I could pretty much read her mind from here-Jo had always been the type to wear regret on her sleeve. So, I was preemptively cringing when she said, "I think I fucked up, Ken."

_You _think _you fucked up?_

"Uh. What do you mean?"

"I mean…" She was quiet for a long time. I swore I could feel her shoulders slumping and her gaze dropping. "The divorce isn't final. We could always put things on hold and-"

"Put them on hold?" I blinked a few times as I tried to make sense of what she was suggesting. "Like...get back together?"

"Or at least give it a try."

I barely kept a laugh from escaping. That would only piss her off and make this conversation ten times worse. "No."

"No? Just like that? You're not even going to consider it?"

"Um...no. Why are _you_ considering it?"

She sighed. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking, and I mean, we invested so many years in each other. Is that really something we should throw away without at least _trying _to fix it?"

I stared at the pavement, dumbstruck for a moment that she had the brass balls to suggest we could fix what had gone wrong in our marriage. What in the world would have brought-

Oh.

_Oh_.

"He left, didn't he?"

The harsh breath said it all.

I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes, but when I spoke, I kept my voice calm.

"Jo, I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but we're over. I mean, I've moved to Seattle. I have a new job. I'm starting a new life here. And, Jesus. You…" I paused, nerves almost getting the best of me. "You cheated on me."

_Holy shit. Did I actually say that out loud?_

"For God's sake." She snapped. "Don't act like you never-"

"I never cheated." The words came out thick with emotion. "_Never_, Jo."

She huffed. "Kendall, I don't want to argue about this. We both made mistakes, and we-"

"And _you_. Cheated. On _me_. And then tried to blame me." I could hear her getting ready to speak again, and put up my hand as if she could see it as I continued talking. "I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but we're done. I have to go."

_I have to go._

My own words resonated through my head, as if the gravity of the sentence had been lost on me until I'd actually said it out loud.

_I have to go._

Yeah, I did have to go. Not just disconnect this call, but _go_. Move on. Finally leave Jo, our marriage, and our life in Chicago behind. Because even if things were uncertain right now, they were better than what I'd left behind.

Then Jo released a long breath. "You're with him, aren't you?"

I almost dropped my phone. "Come again?"

"You went back to him, didn't you?"

"Back to-" My gaze landed on the club I'd walked out of, and the pieces came together. "James."

She sniffed with disdain. "Yeah. _Him_."

I rolled my eyes. "You know, I doubt it even matters at this point, but I never did anything with him before you or while we were married, and I'm doing anything with him now." _Except cuddling up on the couch, something we stopped doing years ago. _That thought started to choke me up, and I had no idea why. I just knew I suddenly wanted to be back on that couch, or at the very least, back in that booth.

"And while we're on the subject, if there's one thing I can't forgive you for, it's for pushing me and him apart for all these years. Letting you do that was the biggest mistake I've ever made."

Another sniff, this time with extra sarcasm. "But you never touched him. Okay, Ken."

I didn't say a word.

I just ended the call.

For a moment, I stood there staring at my phone, my hand shaking and my knees starting to join in. The screen was black now. Jo's name, number, and picture had vanished, but it was like I could still see them. Like an obnoxious after-image that came from stupidly staring into the sun.

I'd told her off. I'd hung up.

Swallowing hard, I let my gaze drift back to the club.

I called her out for pushing me away from James.

A flurry of emotions tried to take hold. I'd never been any better at standing up to Jo than I'd been at standing up to my mom. I'd defend myself, sure, but calling her out on her bullshit? Ending the call before she was good and ready to end it for me? That was new.

_I have to go._

The phone buzzed to life and the screen lit up.

_Jo calling._

Without a second thought, I tapped _ignore_, and then I turned off my phone.

She'd leave a message, no doubt, and there'd probably be texts too, but...no. I was here to have a good time and to help James unwind after his ex's visit, not to listen to Jo try to blame me for our divorce in the same breath she asked me to take her back.

Whatever fucks I'd had to give about exes, I'd already used tonight while waiting for that dickbag ex-boyfriend of James' to leave. I didn't have any left for my ex-wife.

I took a deep breath, stuffed the phone into my pocket, and headed back inside to where there was beer, music, people, and most importantly, James.

I'd barely made it back to the booth before James appeared beside me.

"Hey, man. Everything okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it's…" I forced a smile. "Just bullshit with the ex. You know how it goes."

"Ugh. Yeah." He rolled his eyes. "I so do." He looked at me, brow pinched, but before he could speak, the DJ's voice boomed through the club.

"And our next singer is James. Come on up, James!"

"Oh!" James thrust his drink into my hand. "Hold this."

I barely had my fingers around the half-empty glass before he was on his feet and sprinting across the dancefloor to the stage. I laughed. No one was as enthusiastic about karaoke was he was, and even with my jittery fucked-up mood, it was impossible not to smile.

He took his place onstage and nodded at the DJ. He hadn't even started yet, but people were already falling quiet and turning toward the stage. I wasn't surprised; if he was a regular here, I couldn't imagine people were unaware of his karaoke prowess.

As the intro started playing, I was admittedly a little disappointed that it wasn't My Heart Will Go On this time. In fact, it took a few notes for me to recognize Amazed.

I chuckled to myself; Jesus, how many girls had I slow-danced with to that song in high school? In fact, I was pretty sure this was the song that had led to me and Amy Stewart making out in the back of the gym at Homecoming when she was a senior and I was a sophomore, and I-

Onstage, James started singing.

And my mind went blank.

And my ex-wife's call faded into the past.

And I...just...stared.

His voice had always been beautiful, but time had given him more control. More resonance. Even after a couple drinks, he hit all the notes just right, and I would have bet my entire year's salary that there wasn't a single person in this room without goosebumps. No one was making a sound. I didn't think they were even moving.

Or maybe they were. I didn't know, and I didn't care. A marching band could have gone by right then, and I wouldn't have seen or heard a thing except the man singing onstage.

James' friend Lucy nudged my shoulder. "Talented, isn't he?"

Mute. I nodded.

"It's good to see him getting up there and singing again." Lucy said.

I glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

Lucy shrugged. "He just hasn't done it in a while. Years, actually. Guess he decided to pick it back up."

I looked at James again, and smiled to myself. "Good. He's too talented not to."

Lucy said nothing. We watched and listened, and James had the entire room on their feet as he finished the song. I didn't even hear the last couple of lines over the roar of applause.

James handed the microphone back to the DJ, hopped down from the stage, and headed toward us. He was waylaid every few steps by people who I assumed were telling him how awesome he was. Still, it didn't take him long to get back to the booth and drop onto the bench beside me.

He was-unsurprisingly-out of breath, and leaned against me as he quickly downed the last of his drink in three deep swallows.

"That was awesome!" Carlos exclaimed.

"Not that any of us are surprised, right?" Dak added.

James blushed, still shamelessly leaning on me. I didn't mind in the least.

"He's right." Lucy said. "It's a damn shame you aren't off making millions of dollars with that voice."

James snorted, though even in this light, he was clearly blushing.

"Pfft. You all just want me to get a recording contract and a big mansion so you can come leech off me."

"Yeah?" Lucy shrugged. "And?"

"I don't do freeloaders, darling."

I cleared my throat.

He laughed, swatting my hand. "You're not freeloading."

"I'm, uh, not exactly paying for-"

"You cook for me." He made a gesture like he was banging a gavel on the table. "Case closed."

"He cooks?" Lucy's ears perked up.

"Oh my _god_!" James put a hand to his heart and sat straighter, taking my breath with him as he broke contact. "I'm telling you, I am going to gain a hundred pounds with him in the house."

A few other heads turned, and people leaned in. I recoiled a little, not sure I liked suddenly being the center of attention, but James effortlessly held the spotlight.

"The first night he stayed at my house." He went on as if he were telling some wild story. "He made these stuffed peppers. I don't know what was different about them, but oh my god. _Oh_. My. _God_. You _guys_." He flattened both hands on the table. "I never thought I'd describe a dish like that as orgasmic, but-"

I almost spat out my beer, which had everyone cracking up. James flashed me a wicked grin. I tried to glare at him, but the grin turned into an innocent puppy-dog look, and I burst out laughing.

He went on with his stories about my cooking, regaling them with everything I'd made recently and peppering the tales with some of the disasters of my early years. I was amazed he even remembered the time I'd accidentally put too much brown sugar in a meatloaf (which turned out to taste amazing) or the infamous blueberry incident of 2009 when I'd somehow put way too much lemon juice in the filling (which turned out to taste _not _amazing).

I found myself listening as raptly as everyone else, laughing at my own fuck-ups and getting more than a little nostalgic over the memories he was awakening.

There were few days I thought back on as fondly as the surprise eighteenth birthday party we'd thrown senior year for his boyfriend. The memory was kind of bittersweet because the guy has turned out to be a jackass, but that day had been a good one, and apparently James had never forgotten the honey barbecue wings I'd made.

Before that there was the time in ninth grade when we'd been studying Russian history, and our teacher had offered us extra credit if we brought in a Russian dish. To this day I had no idea if I screwed up the recipe or the cooking time, but that rum cake had left us all a bit woozy. And it had turned out the recipe had actually come from New Orleans or something, so I hadn't gotten the extra credit after all. On top of that, we'd had P.E. right after history, and I'd almost thrown up on James during our extra miserable mile-and-a-half run.

"I still think that was from your sad excuse for a stroganoff." I said.

"Bitch." James elbowed me. "Your cake wouldn't have passed a field sobriety test. Don't tell me my stroganoff made you weave and stumble."

"I think he needs to make that cake for all of us." Lucy said, nodding sagely. "So we can decide if it was as boozy as James is making it out to be."

Dak grinned. "Oh, I agree. How about it, guys?"

James turned to me, eyebrows up. _Well?_

I shrugged. "Sure. Why not? I'm pretty sure I can dig up the recipe online."

To my surprise the group broke into applause. My cheeks burned, and James nudged me with his shoulder. Loud enough for everyone to hear, he said, "I think you just won over all their drunk-ass hearts."

"Oh, shut up." Dak threw a peanut at his head. "You were practically drooling when you told us about it, so don't act like you won't be sampling the cake batter and stealing the biggest pieces."

"Hey!" James pouted.

"He has a point." I batted my eyes innocently. "How many times have I had to threaten you with kitchen implements because you kept stealing batter or whatever?"

"What?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "That's a lie."

I arched an eyebrow.

With a huff, he leaned back against the bench. "Fine. But it's not my fault it takes so long for some of that stuff to cook, and I just want a _taste_."

I rolled my yes and elbowed him. He elbowed me back.

"Bastard." He muttered.

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

We glanced at each other, laughed, and went for our drinks.

Across the table, Dak and Lucy exchanged looks I couldn't quite read-eyebrows up, lips quirked-but neither said a word. I didn't ask, and neither did James. Besides, he was already launching into the tall tale of me nearly burning my grandmother's kitchen down on Thanksgiving when I was fifteen. I didn't stop him.

The story wasn't nearly was entertaining if you knew the fire was contained to a frying pan and the only casualty was one of Grandma's hideously ugly oven mitts. And anyway, she'd wanted new oven mitts for Christmas, so it all worked out.

After a few more stories, the group broke apart as people went to sign up for more karaoke, get drinks, or hit the restroom. James and I stayed in the booth, and I was grateful to have a lull for a minute or two.

I turned to him. "I can't decide if you just made me out to be the next Gordon Ramsay, or completely incompetent in the kitchen."

He side-eyed me. "Please. I guarantee I had everyone's mouths watering. Now that I've sold them all on your cooking, we probably have to have a house party. No pressure or anything."

"Yeah?" I brought my beer to my lips "That before or after you finish building the place?"

"Hmm." He scowled. "Okay, we'll have a party outside on the deck."

"I think they call that a barbecue." I sniffed with as much snobbishness as I could muster. "And I don't _barbecue_. I cook."

"Uh-huh." James rolled his eyes as he took a drink. Then he turned to m. His expression was completely serious, and he lowered his voice so only I could hear it even though the music provided a fair amount of privacy already. "Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, I am. In fact, this is probably the most fun I've had in a long time. Even with my ex-wife calling to bend my ear in the middle of it." I absently played with the label on my beer bottle as I glanced at him. "So, thank you."

"Thanks for coming." He put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned against him-_ah, so nice_-as he added, "Next time we go out, either block her number or shut your phone off. She almost killed my buzz."

I laughed, enjoying this closeness a lot more than I probably should have. "Got it."

And...next time we go out? There would _be _a next time?

I didn't push the issue about when next time would be, though.

I just smiled.

Because I couldn't wait.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like Kames had a good night out, even with the interruption from Jo. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Not sure when the next chapter is coming just yet, but it'll for sure be up sometime this week.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, winterschild11, XxxAnimaniacxxX, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

My temples were throbbing when I woke the next morning, but the hangover wasn't too bad. I'd had worse. A little coffee and some water, and I'd be golden.

Moving carefully-something I'd learned the hard way during my college partying days-I sat up. Beside me, Hazel paused in the middle of licking her paw, shot me a look that was somehow a combination of disgusted and disinterested, and went back to bathing.

"Don't judge me, wench." I grumbled, and tousled her fur. She side-eyed me, but that was about it.

Gingerly, I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Then I got dressed and started my zombie shuffle toward the kitchen in search of coffee.

Kendall was already there, leaning against the counter with his phone in one hand and a mug in the other. He lifted his gaze from his screen and smiled.

"Morning."

Despite my faint headache, it was impossible not return that sweet smile.

"Morning. Please tell me there's still coffee."

"Nope." He sipped his. "Just made enough for me."

I channeled my inner Hazel and glared at him.

He laughed and stepped aside, revealing a mostly full pot of coffee. "I'm kidding."

"You're a bastard."

"Eh. You knew what this was."

I grunted in agreement and started making my coffee. Once I'd had a few life-giving swallows, I turned to him. "So did you have fun last night?"

That smile again. God...

"Yeah, I did." He put his cup down and pocketed his phone. "I like your friends a lot."

"They like you, too. Don't be surprised if you have about a dozen friend requests on Facebook before the weekend is over." I joked.

He chuckled. "Already had three this morning."

"See?" I sipped my coffee again. "We meet up at that place a lot, so any time you want to join us, you're welcome to it. Even if I'm not there."

Kendall shifted his weight a little. "Well, maybe not by myself yet. They're...it's kind of your group, you know?"

"Dude, I'm pretty sure most of them forgot you were there with me."

"Well, aside form when you were telling them all about my cooking, right?"

"Okay, there's that." _Plus Lucy being convinced you were there _with _me. _I shrugged. "But seriously...you don't need me to be there."

"Good to know. But...we'll see." He paused for a sip of coffee. "And by the way, you do know most people suck at karaoke, right? It's, like, a tradition."

I sniffed indignantly. "Maybe _they _do, but if I'm going to sing in front of people, I'm going to sound good."

"Of course you are. I wouldn't expect any less."

"I should hope not."

"And you did sound really good." He said softly. "It's been a long time since I've heard you sing."

I swallowed. _It's been a long time since there's been someone worth singing to. _"Thanks."

Now that we had coffee in our systems, we went about making ourselves some breakfast. Kendall scrambled some eggs, and we lounged on the couch with our plates because we were too lazy to sit at the table.

As we settled in with our food, I realized Kendall had gone quiet for a while. He sometimes did when he cooked, but not when it was something as simple as scrambled eggs. Now that we were eating, he was still quiet.

No, not just quiet-distant. Gaze fixed on something else. Eyebrows pulled together. Chewing slowly and thoughtfully.

I watched him for a moment, and he didn't even seem to notice. "Hey."

He shook himself and turned to me. "Hmm?"

"You were spacing out."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay, but…" I cocked my head. "You've got something on your mind, don't you?"

Kendall smiled sheepishly. "Am I that transparent?"

"To someone who's known you as long as I have, yes." I gave him a gentle nudge. "What's up?"

The sheepish smile faded, and Kendall lowered his gaze. "So, you know when Jo called last night?"

Instantly, my teeth were on edge. "Yeah?"

He sighed. "It was to tell me her new man dumped her, and oh by the way, she wants me to take her back."

"She _what_?"

"I know, right?" Kendall rolled his eyes. "She cheated, and now that her new guy is gone, she's-"

"She's got the brass balls to think you might let her sorry ass come crawling back?" My voice went shrill as I said it, and I didn't care. "What the _fuck_? You're not taking her up on it, are you?"

"Of course not!" Chuckling, he patted my knee and shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Good. Because I just...I mean...the fucking nerve!" I threw up my hand, almost letting go of my fork. "Does she really think she can walk all over you like that, and accuse you of cheating, and cheat on you, and-"

"James." Kendall put his hand on my shoulder. "Take it easy, okay? I'm not going back to her."

I studied him, and after a moment, started to calm down a little. "Promise?"

"Promise. It's been hard, but it's over. I swear."

"Good." I looked in his eyes. How in the world was this man single and lonely? There was no justice in the universe if he didn't have legions of women pounding down his bedroom door. I tapped the center of his chest. "You know what? It's time to take you out and get you laid."

Kendall threw his head back and laughed. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I did. But…" He sobered. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Weren't we kind of doing that at the club last night?"

"Uh, no." I shook my head. "We were just out having a good time, and anyway, that was pretty much a gay bar. You haven't _seen _me trying to get you laid."

His eyes were instantly huge. "Well shit. Now I'm kind of intrigued."

I quirked my lips. "Kind of?"

He gulped. "Okay, _really _intrigued. What exactly does this entail?"

_Basically taking you out into a public place and letting every straight or bi woman with standards do the rest._

"Well for starters, we need to find you something to wear."

Kendall inclined his head. "Is this going to be one of those movie montage things where you sit outside of a dressing room, and I come out and model a bunch of different outfits while you shoot me judgemental looks?"

"Right up until you step out in the perfect chick magnet ensemble and I give you thumbs up or something?"

"Exactly."

"Well, as fun as that would be…" I shook my head. "It won't be me playing dress-up with you."

"It won't?"

"Nope. I wish I could tell you I'd be your magic fashion guru, but what I'm actually going to do is turn one of my girls loose on you."

"One of…" He blinked. "Your girls?"

"Mmhmm." I picked up my wallet and keys. "Come on. You're driving."

XxX

As it turned out, it might as well have been one of those movie montages he'd asked about. The only difference was I wasn't the one giving the judgemental looks and sending him back to change.

I did chill in a chair and watch everything, but it was my friend Mercedes doing the "nope," "not happening," "oh Lord," and "what the hell was I thinking?"

Kendall was a good sport about it. Occasionally he'd mutter under his breath or ask if she was absolutely sure this shirt or those pants or the pair of shoes didn't make the cut, but otherwise, he'd dutifully go back in and change out of whatever she'd rejected.

For me, it was hilarious, mostly because I was watching instead of doing the rapid fire rejection fashion show this time. I'd been there, done that. Most of my friends assumed that my penchant for sucking dick made me a fashion savant, but the truth was, the only reason I'd gotten away with appearing halfway fashionable in high school was a mix of my mom's meddling and fashion magazines.

When we'd first met years ago, Mercedes had joked about me being her gay personal shopper, and I'd dared her to let me pick out clothes for her. Five minutes into that hilarious shopping trip, she'd cried uncle and declared herself _my _personal shopper. Which was awesome because she had a sixth sense or something about what would make a man spectacularly fuckable.

And when Kendall stepped out of the dressing room for the hundredth time, my breath caught.

It wasn't anything extravagant-just near-black jeans paired with combat style boots and a green button-up shirt. On one guy, it might've looked stupid. On another, just average.

On him? _Fuck_. The green was the perfect shade to make his hair seem just slightly lighter and his eyes a lot greener. The jeans weren't stupidly tight, but sat just right on his hips and ass. The boots had a slight lift in the heel, which worked magic on that gorgeous ass, and-son of a bitch, Mercedes really was a magician with this shit, even when it was nothing more than picking the right color shirt and style of shoes, but I hadn't thought it was possible to make Kendall any more fuckable than he already was.

"So?" He gestured self-consciously at the ensemble. "How does this look?"

_Like I want to rip it off your person and-_

"Oh, I think we have a winner." Mercedes studied him intently, then turned to me. "What do you think? Would you tap that?"

I gulped. _I'd have tapped that in any of those atrocious outfits you made him try on, but- _"I think it looks great."

Kendall smiled shyly at me. "Really?"

"Mmhmm."

Mercedes waggled a finger at him. "Maybe another pair of those jeans and the same shirt in blue." She inspected him from head to toe, nodded, and wandered off to find what she needed.

He watched her go, his expression full of bemusement. Then his eyes flicked toward me. "This is really entertaining for you, isn't it?"

I shrugged, pushing myself up from my chair.

"Eh, she's put me through it more than once, so I feel your pain. But she's good at what she does." I raked my eyes over him. "You wouldn't think something this simple would make such a difference, but it really does."

"Seriously?" He smoothed his hands down the front of his shirt. "I mean, it's just jeans and-"

"Trust me. It looks great. And if that woman approves, tehn-"

"So I've been downgraded to _that woman_?" Mercedes strode out from between two rows of clothing, a couple of shirts and jeans draped over her arm.

I showed my palms and smiled brightly. "You know I mean it with nothing but love and-"

"Oh, shut up." She snorted and set the clothes down beside her purse and jacket. "You should know by now that I'm immune to your bullshit."

"Damn it." I grumbled.

Kendall made a half-assed effort to smother a laugh. When I shot him a pointed look, he stopped bothering to make any effort at all.

"Sorry, man." He clapped my shoulder. "It's always hilarious when someone puts you in your place."

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Asshole."

He chuckled and went back to the dressing room. When he came back out, he was in his normal clothes, and it seriously wasn't fair how much he rocked casual jeans and a faded t-shirt. I mean, really.

Mercedes beamed as she collected everything. "Okay, let's go ring you up."

Kendall hesitated. "Hang on. I should probably make sure I can afford all this."

"Don't." I touched his shoulder. "It's my treat, okay?"

"James." He shook his head. "I can't keep spending your money."

"Ken, I sicced the Fashion Police on you. The least I can do is buy what she picked out."

His bow creased.

Before he could protest, I squeezed his arm. "It's fine. Promise."

"So…" Mercedes eyes us. "Are we doing this, or…?"

"Yes, we are." I turned to him. "You can buy the first round when we go out, okay?"

He didn't seem convinced, but he shrugged, and we headed up to the register.

After I'd paid for the clothes, I took him and Mercedes to lunch. Then she had to get back to the bar where she worked, so we hugged goodbye and parted ways.

As we walked to the mall's parking garage, Kendall said, "Remember this morning when you thought I was spacing out during breakfast?"

I glanced at him. "Yeah?"

He nudged my elbow with his. "You've been doing the same thing for the last hour. What's up?"

I blinked a few times. Was I? I backtracked the last hour or so, and hell, I had been kind of off in my own little world, hadn't I? While Mercedes or Kendall had chatted over paninis like they'd known each other forever, I'd sat back and watched, not unlike what I'd done while he'd tried on clothes. I'd been there, but...not.

Taking a breath, I slid my hands into my pockets.

"Okay. Well, I was thinking a lot, I guess." I moistened my lips, slowed to a stop, and turned to him. "There's something I need to ask because that conversation we had this morning is bugging me."

Kendall lifted his eyebrows. "Which conversation?"

"The one when you were spacing out. About your ex. And that phone call." Squaring my shoulders, I held his gaze. "You really aren't going back to her, are you?"

He laughed. "No. God, no. I'm…" His humor faded and he lowered his gaze. As his posture sagged a little, he said, "I can't go back. I just can't."

"But would you want to?"

"No." Something in his voice sounded a lot like uncertainty, and that did _not _sit well with me.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay, but just on the off chance that a demon possesses you or you become a pod person, I think we should get something completely clear."

He smirked. "Uh, okay?"

"If you-or the demon controlling you-_do _decide to go back to her, do you want me to support your decision? Or should I chase your ass down, block you from checking in at the airport, and forcibly restrain you until you see reason again?"

God. I loved the way this man laughed. Especially when there was a hint of shyness in his eyes.

Shaking his head, he said, "I don't think you have to worry about that." He met my gaze, his expression completely serious. "Listen. I loved her, and in a way, I still do. Maybe I always will. But we're done. There's no going back. I can't be with someone I can't trust. I just can't. And even if I _could _trust her again, we've…"

He paused, eyes unfocusing as if he were trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words. Finally, he sighed.

"When you're with someone for a long time, things get kind of boring. You fall in love, you want to be with this person, and then you just kind of...get comfortable with each other. It's normal, you know? But with Jo, it's like we've reached a point where I can't even _remember _that giddy, falling-in-love feeling."

I cocked my head. "So, you don't know why you were with her at all?"

"Not...not really. We've just gone so far down the rabbit hole of resenting each other that it's hard to remember ever feeling any other way." He patted my arm. "Look, it's kind of terrifying to start my life over right now, but I'm not going back. We're done. I promise."

I held his gaze for a moment, searching for any reason at all to be skeptical. When I couldn't find one, I nodded. "Okay. I just don't want to see you get hurt again, you know?"

"I know. And I really appreciate it. It's, um…" He lowered his gaze, and his voice was soft as he added, "It's nice to have someone give a shit about me and how I feel."

He might as well have punched me in the gut. Jesus fuck.

"I do. You know I do." I paused, worried the moment might be getting too heavy, and quickly added, "Which is why next Friday night, I'm taking you out and getting you laid."

He gulped. "You really weren't kidding about that, were you?"

"Definitely not." I grinned. "I'm taking you out, and we're going to have a few drinks, and you're going to be mobbed by the ladyfolk until you can't get it up anymore."

He laughed, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of deep red. "Uh…"

"Relax." I gave him a gentle nudge. "You'll do fine."

"I guess we'll see. But, um, thanks for helping me out. Getting back out on the singles scene after all this time is intimidating as hell."

"Any time."

We exchanged smiles, and I hoped he couldn't see me dying inside.

Oh yeah. Friday night, he'd dress up in everything Mercedes had put together for him, and I'd take him out. I'd turn him loose in one of those clubs where everyone was looking to get laid, and he'd have women lining up in no time. Probably some men, too. At _least _one.

I tamped down the selfish feelings that made me want to bail. There was no point in jealously pining after him instead of helping him find someone he was actually interested in. Kendall deserved to be happy, and I would do everything in my power to make sure he was happy.

Even if it killed me.

* * *

The taxi let us off in front of the club, but James led me across the street.

"Nobody really shows up until after ten." He explained on the way into the bar. "It's just loud and boring when it's empty, so we can grab a couple of drinks and relax a bit here before we go over there."

"Sounds good to me. I could stand to pre-game a bit."

He eyed me. "You're not planning on getting hammered, are you?"

"No! Of course not." I sheepishly met his eyes as I held open the bar's door. "Just something for my nerves. That's all."

"Nerves?" He smiled sweetly. "Dude, you're going to have women knocking each other over to get to you. You've got nothing to be nervous about." He gave my arm a pat, then swept past me into the bar.

I chuckled, but didn't argue as I followed him inside. I'd done okay in clubs when I was in college, but I wasn't a college student any more and I had been out of the game for a while. We'd see how things went tonight. At least I had Mercedes' fashion wisdom to keep me from looking like a trash fire, so as long as I didn't do or say something stupid, maybe I'd be okay.

James led me across the lounge. This place wasn't a dive bar per se. A little too clean and modern for that, and without the smell of fry grease permeating everything. There were some games on television, but none of my teams were playing, so I didn't pay attention to them.

There were a few pool tables, too. One was occupied. The others were empty.

As we sat down in a booth, I gestured at the pool table. "Hey, you remember that pool hall that was open in Redmond back when we were in junior high?"

James smiled. "Joey's? God, how could I forget that place? It sucks they closed it or I'd probably still go there."

"Yeah?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged, the smile turning a little shy. "It wasn't exactly a place to go pick up guys, but there were worse ways to kill an afternoon than shooting pool and bankrupting myself feeding the jukebox."

I laughed. "Man, those were the days. I don't think I've ever found anyone who made better fries than they did."

"Oh, no kidding. Shit, maybe it is good they shut down, or I'd have gorged myself to death on those damn crinkle fries."

"You and me both."

He chuckled. He stared to bring his bring his drink to his lips, but paused and looked at me with a nostalgic smile. "Remember the time we almost got thrown out for putting Danger Zone on repeat on the jukebox?"

I threw my head back and laughed. "When the owner threatened to ban us for life if we played that song one more time?"

"He had no sense of humor, I'm telling you."

"Cranky old bastard."

We both laughed, and I let some more of those memories rush through my brain. More and more lately, I'd realized that all the best memories of my formative years had one thing in common-James.

And not just the best ones, but all the important ones. He'd been there for the good times and the horrible times. For the hormone-saturated crushes on girls who were way out of my league and the breakups that had seemed like the end of the world at the time. The fact that he'd been absent from my life for five years seemed like even more of a travesty than it had before tonight.

_But that's over, so I'm going to enjoy being here with him in the present._

"Hey, so." I cleared my throat. "You want to shoot some pool while we're here?"

"Fuck yeah." His eyes lit up. "Eight ball?"

"Unless you want to grab some random stranger and play Cutthroat."

He wrinkled his nose. "Nah. It's more fun to kick your ass on my own."

I laughed. Oh, didn't that bring back memories? He and I had always been competitive as hell no matter what we were playing-pool, video games, and even badminton during P.E. Our shit talking had been legendary at that pool hall, especially with our friends egging us on. It had always been good-natured, too. Competitive without being mean, but _definitely _snarky.

"_You guys sound like an old married couple," _a friend had laughed during a game of pool years ago.

We took the table at the far end of the row, and James went up to the bar to get everything we needed. After we'd selected and chalked our cues, it was game on. I broke, sank a striped ball, and thought I was doing pretty damn good until James started dropping solids left and right.

That game didn't last long. The second, I did a little better, but once he was on a roll, there was no stopping him.

As he got down to his last ball, the cue ball was tucked in a hard-to-reach position behind the twelve and eight. A lot of opportunity to scratch or accidentally sink the eight.

James leaned back over the table, reaching behind himself to line up the shot. Somehow he'd always managed to make even the most acrobatic shots without being clumsy or awkward. When the rest of us had to sprawl across the table with the grace of three-day-old roadkill, he could always angle himself to both make the shot and look good doing it. Like, he could line up a seemingly impossible shot, and not only sink it, but showcase his ass in the process.

And of course, being the bastard he was, he made the shot this time. And looked good doing it, showcased ass and all.

"Oh." He put a hand to his mouth and stared at the table, feigning shock. "Am I...am I down to the eight ball? _Again_?"

I rolled my eyes. "Smug motherfucker."

He sank the eight ball with an emphatic _thunk_, and did a little victory dance because he was an asshole like that. Grinning, he said, "You want to do three out of five? Or is two out of three enough?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes again. "Apparently I need to practice a bit if I'm going to play against you."

He toasted me with his beer bottle, winked, and took a swallow.

"What about cricket?" I asked. "You still halfway decent at darts?"

Halfway decent?" He scoffed. "I'll have you know I still kick ass at darts, thank you very much."

"Oh yeah?" I grinned. "Prove it."

James smirked at me. "All right. You're on." He jutted his chin at the bar. "Go get us some darts."

"What? I have to pay for them?"

"I'm getting you laid tonight." He shooed me toward the bar. "Go."

"Fair enough." And he _had_ bought me these clothes, so I supposed it was only fair.

I went up to the bar. I gave the bartender ten bucks, and he handed me a case of six darts-three red, three blue.

"Okay, smartass." I set the darts down on a table by the dartboards. "Let's see what you've got."

James picked up the blue darts. "Bring it."

XxX

"You got lucky." James clicked his tongue as he plucked the darts from the board.

"Please. Beating you that many times by that many points wasn't luck. That was years of practice and-"

"And dumb fucking luck."

"Aw, come on." I beamed. "Don't hate me because I'm better at darts than you."

He huffed, but there was a playful sparkle in his eyes as he put the darts on the table between our beer bottles. "Another round?"

"Of darts or beer?"

"Yes."

I considered it, then shrugged. "Sure, why not? I think it's your turn to buy anyway."

He sighed dramatically as if buying a round was the biggest imposition in the world.

"Go on, drama queen." I said with mock exasperation. "You can handle it."

"Fine." He gathered our empty bottles, winked, and headed for the bar.

I chuckled, and as he walked away, I glanced at my phone.

12:35.

I did a double take. What the…

That couldn't be right.

I looked around and found an old neon clock above the bar, and the hands confirmed it-12:35. Holy shit.

I followed James to the bar. "Hey, did you notice what time it is?"

"What time-" He started as he took out his phone, and when the screen lit up, his eyes widened. "Oh my god. Time got away from us, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it did."

"Well, do you still want to go over there?" He gestured in the club's general direction. "It's still open for another hour and a half."

"Honestly?" I shook my head. "I think I'm ready to call it a night."

"Getting too old for-"

"You're four months older than me, jackass." I picked up my beer. "Why don't we finish these, maybe play another game, and then get out of here?"

"Sounds good." He took a deep swallow from his own bottle. "Let's roll."

On the way out twenty minutes later, I glanced at the club across the street. There was a line outside, and the music thumped so hard I could feel it in my teeth.

That was where we were supposed to be tonight, but we hadn't made it. James hadn't had a chance to work his magic at getting me laid. I wasn't disappointed, though. I'd enjoyed our evening together. I'd gone out intending to at least try to hook up with a woman I hadn't yet met.

Instead, I'd spent an evening relaxing over some beers, darts, and pool with a friend who'd been out of my life for _way_ too long. A friend I'd stupidly cutout of my life, and who by the grace of God, was somehow back in it.

Before I could think twice, I said, "James?"

He turned to me. "Yeah?"

"I, um…" I swallowed. "I wanted to apologize again. For ghosting you. The last five years were-"

"Ken." He faced me fully and touched my arm. "You're back now. Honestly, that's all I care about."

"But I fucked up. Cutting you out of my life was easily the biggest mistake I ever made. I just need you to know I'm sorry."

He smiled, looking right in my eyes. "I know. And I appreciate it. I'm just really glad you're back now."

"Yeah. Me too." _I don't think you'll ever understand how grateful I am._

"Anyway, next time we go out? We'll definitely get to the club." James nodded toward the club, then flashed me a devilish grin and winked in the low light. "I will get you laid. That's a promise."

"Deal. Oh hey, there's our Uber."

We got in, and just before the driver turned the corner at the end of the block, I glanced back at the club one more time.

No, I hadn't gone anywhere near that place tonight. I hadn't danced. Hadn't checked anyone out. I hadn't made eye contact with a woman, let alone made a connection.

But as I continued down the road with James, I definitely wouldn't say the night had been wasted.

* * *

**Done! So, this chapter was basically one big Kames-fest, which I'm sure you all don't mind. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Not quite sure when the next chapter will be up, but it'll definitely be up by next weekend!**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello everyone! It's time for a new chapter!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The following Sunday, we actually made it to the club.

It helped that we left a bit later this time, so we weren't getting there so early that we needed to kill time across the street.

I parked around the block, and after waiting in line for half an hour, we finally went inside and headed for the bar. While we waited for our first round, I gave the club a sweeping glance. This wasn't usually my scene. I liked the places that were more upfront about being gay-friendly. They were more safe, for one thing. Plus, it was a lot easier for guys like me to start up conversations and flirt with someone when we weren't scared shitless they might be a homophobe.

But this club did attract the gay crowd too, and anyway tonight wasn't about me. It was about Kendall. I was going to get this man laid and help him move on from his shitty marriage.

First things first, we got a couple of drinks and found a table. Kendall took a pull from his beer as he gazed around, and I wondered if anyone else noticed his deer-in-the-headlights look, or if it was only obvious to someone who knew how much places like this intimidated him.

I touched his arm. "Hey. Relax."

"Easy for you to say." He muttered into his beer bottle. "Is it just me, or is everyone here half our age?"

I snorted. "Okay, stop being a drama queen. That's my job." I said, getting a chuckle out of him, which seemed to ease some of the tension in his features.

I scanned the room again, and okay, I had to admit that the crowd _was_ a bit younger than I remembered it being. How long had it been since I'd come here? But there was a good amount of people around our age. I tilted my glass toward a group in the corner.

"Look, not everyone here are college kids. If anyone at that table is under twenty-five, I'm the Pope."

Kendall snorted, then burst out laughing.

"What? Do you really doubt my ability to tell people's ages at ten paces?"

"No." He tried and failed to smother his laughter. "Just the thought of you as the Pope…" Shaking his head, he snickered some more.

I huffed with mock offense. "Bitch, I'd make a fucking badass Pope."

Kendall shot me one of those incredulous looks I hadn't realized I'd missed. "I don't know, man. I can't imagine anyone letting you wear white anything."

A laugh burst out of me. "Just what are you implying, Mr. Knight?"

"Nothing." He shrugged, bringing his beer to his lips again. "Nothing at all." Just before he took a sip, he coughed "_slut_."

"Oh, I am not." I smacked his arm, and grinned triumphantly when the bastard choked on his drink.

"Okay. Fine." He sputtered. "But you're not exactly a saint, either."

"And you are?"

"Hardly. I'm not the one claiming I could be the Pope, though."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. I couldn't begin to tell him how much I'd missed the random bullshit our conversations had a habit of devolving into. Nobody in the world had ever appreciated my nonsense as much as Kendall, and no one else had ever brought the same kind of nonsense to the table.

_God, I missed you._

And I was here to play wingman so he could get laid, which meant I definitely needed another drink. Like...now.

I plucked the drink menu off the stand at the edge of the table. Though I was driving tonight, it was still early. I gave myself a two-drink limit when I was the designated driver, and I'd just finished number one.

In search of drink number two, I pursued the laminated pages of colorful cocktails that, at those prices, had better come with long, enthusiastic blowjobs from the bartender of my choice.

Most of these places had overpriced cocktails with way more fruit juice than booze, but once in a while, there was a diamond in the rough. Something with a little sweet and just the slightest buzz, and maybe not requiring a credit check to prove I could fucking afford it. Fifteen dollars for a shot of Comfort and some gin mixed with-

"Whoa." Kendall's low, awestruck voice pulled my attention from the drink menu.

"Hmm?" I realized he was focused on something, and followed the trajectory of his gaze. Despite the crowd, it wasn't hard to zero in on her.

She was probably a year or two younger than us, and she was about five foot eight. Definitely Kendall's type. Dark hair tumbling over her shoulders. A tattoo around her wrist and a beer bottle in her hand. Carrying herself like she owned the place and dressed to show off every curve of her body without trying to hide or apologize for anything someone might consider an imperfection. If she had a sense of humor, she'd have Kendall wrapped around her finger.

Right then, she looked his way. Her eyes slid up and down him, and she winked, and dear God, I _felt _him react. I didn't hear it, but I had no doubt his breath had hitched and his heart had gone wild. He might've even been getting hard, but I wasn't about to torture myself even more by stealing a glance at a tent he was pitching in his pants for someone other than me.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" I nudged his arm. "What do you have to lose?"

"Uh…" He swallowed so hard I swore I could hear it over the music.

"Worst case scenario, she says no."

"Yeah. That's...kind of the scenario I don't-"

"Go on. Ask if you can buy her a drink." I paused. "If she says no, I'll do your laundry and all the dishes. For a _month_."

He turned to me, one eyebrow flicked up. "A month?"

"Yes."

His lips quirked.

"Oh my god, just _go_." I gave him a shove. "Or so help me, I'll go ask her for you like we're in seventh grade."

"You wouldn't."

I lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes. "Complete with a handwritten note asking her to check yes or-"

"No!" Kendall laughed, putting up a hand. "Jesus Christ, no. Just stop."

"Then are you-"

"I'm going, I'm going." He said, putting his empty drink down and taking a step back. "Just...I'm going."

I shot him a pointed look. _You better be._

He laughed again, rolling his eyes, and turned to approach the brunette. His nerves were visible from here-_I'm nervous _might as well have been scrawled in red neon across his tight shoulders and tense features.

When she turned to him again, she smiled. So did he, though he was still obviously terrified. I held my breath just like I had when he'd asked whatshername to homecoming in tenth grade.

She'd said no, and he'd been crushed, and I hoped that if this woman turned him down, she was at least kinder about it than that girl in high school had been.

_Say no if you have to, but don't tell him he's batting out of his league._

A smile lit up her face. She nodded, and even though his back was to me, I could feel the smile on his face, too. She said something to the friends she'd been standing with, and then broke away to head to the bar with Kendall. As they did, he cut his eyes toward me, and that shy _holy shit she said yes _look on his face melted my heart.

"Is that your boyfriend or something?" A male voice startled me, and I turned to see an _incredibly _attractive man approaching with a smile on his full lips.

"My boy-" I glanced over my shoulder, and zeroed right in on Kendall, who was ordering a drink at the bar. Oh, I wish. Laughing, I faced this hot man again and shook my head. "No, no. He's my roommate." I raked my eyes over him. "I'm here alone."

"Oh yeah?" He stood straighter, grinning at me. The rising confidence was almost palpable. In seconds, we'd completed the little hesitant dance gay men did in predominantly straight clubs-feeling each other out to make sure we were both gay, being cautiously forward without tipping our hands and accidentally hitting on a straight man. Now that we'd finished that dance, it was game on.

"I'm Justin." He said.

"James."

His grin broadened. "So, James." He narrowed some of the space between us. "Any chance I can buy you a drink?"

I licked my lips. "I'm driving tonight, but I won't say no to a Coke." I gave him a quick once over, perusing the tight body he had on display in sung jeans and a fitted black shirt. When I met his gaze again, I winked. _I can think of a _lot _I won't say no to if you offer._

He returned the wink and snaked an arm around my shoulders. I let myself be led toward the bar, and as we made our way through the crowd, I scanned the room to make sure Kendall was doing all right.

When I found him, I almost tripped.

_Oh. Yeah. I think he's going just fine._

They were huddled beside a table near the edge of the room, and they were standing so close. He had his hand on her arm, and she was doing that smiling-eye-contact-hair-tucking thing that basically screamed _I am so into you_. He was gazing at her like he'd forgotten anyone else in the world even existed, and his smile...oh god. Oh my _god_.

_Satan, my soul for a man to look at me like that just once._

I tore my gaze away and turned to Justin. Right. Trying to connect with him-not obsessing over _him_.

At the bar, Justin bought me a Coke. I couldn't hear what he'd ordered for himself, but it was strong if the smell was any indication. Then we found a little pocket of space where we could talk over our drinks.

_Here we go. Commence small talk and flirting in between stealthily checking for passable breath and hygiene. Yay._

I didn't mind this part of the game. I just found it kind of tedious sometimes. Hookup apps were much more my speed because the profile covered a lot of these bases in a much more straightforward manner, and by the time we actually started interacting with the over-the-top politeness of two strangers, I'd be ten steps ahead of where I was with Justin.

That, and I wasn't usually scrutinizing Grindr profiles while being distracted by Kendall with a woman twenty feet away.

I squirmed on my barstool, hoping Justin took it as a response to his knee brushing mine.

Kendall was _way _too distracting while I tried to connect with Justin. Every time I glanced in his direction, a million emotions threatened to kill any shot I had at pulling off sex this evening.

Jealousy made my teeth grind. Envy made my throat ache. There wasn't a man in this room I wanted more than I wanted him, and even if it made me a selfish bastard, I hated watching him charming her like that.

I would never have interrupted them or tried to cockblock him. I _wanted _him to make a connection with her, whether they fucked each other senseless for a night or fell head over heels in love with each other. I _wanted _her to either give him the night of his life, or end up being the partner I would have sold my soul to be for him.

_I don't care if it's just for tonight or the rest of his life-make him as happy as I wish I could._

I took a swig of Coke to push back the sudden lump in my throat.

Christ, why was I so emotional over him tonight? This was what I wanted for him. To meet someone. To have a good time. I'd long ago made peace with the reality that I was not and would never be someone who piqued Kendall's interest.

So why did I suddenly feel like teenage me? The kid who'd been overdosing on hormones just like everyone else in my peer group, and who'd wound up crying in a bathroom at a dance because Kendall had been slow-dancing with Kelsea Davis and it had seemed like the end of the world to accept that my best friend would always be out of m reach.

For fuck's sake. I rolled my eyes at my own though, took another drink, and ordered myself to get the fuck over that stupidity this instant. I had the full and undivided attention of an extraordinarily hot man, and I needed to give him the same before he lost interest and found someone else.

So I twisted in my seat and faced Justin completely. The motion slid my knees between his thighs, which brought a grin out of him. I returned it, pretended I was way more into this than I was. Just to make sure, I slid my hand up his leg.

Having my back to Kendall wasn't working. Neither was having my hands on Justin. It was like I could _feel_ Kendall even when I couldn't see him, and I gritted my teeth like I was fighting back the urge to spin around and demand, _"What do you want?" _Because that would make me look seriously sane.

I usually wasn't in this much of a hurry to drag a guy out of a club and into bed. And truthfully, the getting into bed part wasn't as appealing as it could have been. I just needed to get out of here. How the fuck was I supposed to concentrate on dancing and seduction with Kendall so close by?

No way around it-I just needed to not have Kendall in the same room. I needed to _not _be able to see him, with or without a woman on his arm.

So I turned to Justin. "Hey. You want to get out of here?"

He grinned, but I could see the hesitance in his eyes. "You don't want to stay and dance?"

"Meh." I shrugged. "They're not really playing anything I can dance to."

"If you're sure." He said, his smile softening a bit. "Your place or mine?"

"Mine works. Just, um, let me tell my friend we're getting out of here." I said as I slid my hand up the middle of his chest. "Stay right here."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." He winked.

I grinned, winked back a him, and I felt like absolute shit because he probably thought I was into this as much as he was. And maybe once we were alone, I would be.

To my surprise, Kendall was alone.

"Where'd your new friend go?" I asked. "Seemed like you guys were clicking."

"Oh, we are." He gestured over his shoulder toward the bar. "She's getting us a couple of drinks."

I followed his gesture, and sure enough, she was leaning over the bar, talking to the cute bartender. I tsked, shaking my head. "Making your woman buy the booze?"

"Hey." He kicked my shin playfully. "I bought the last one. She offered to buy this round."

"Uh-huh."

He rolled his eyes. "What about you? Looked like you were having a good time with that guy."

"Oh, I was. In fact, that's why I came over here...is it okay if he and I take off?"

"Is it okay?" He laughed. "I'm not your adult, James."

"No, but I am your designated driver."

His lips pursed. Then he shrugged. "I'll get an Uber. Don't worry about it." With a grin that seemed just a touch halfhearted, he added, "Get out of here. Go get some ass."

I snorted. "Such a gentleman."

"Never claimed to be. If I was, I wouldn't hang out with you."

I _almost _flinched.

_You _didn't _hang out with me for five damn years._

But that wasn't what he meant, I knew it wasn't what he'd meant, and there was no point dragging ourselves through that emotional minefield all over again. We'd already talked things over, and we were cool.

So I laughed as if the offhand comment hadn't struck a raw nerve.

"Birds of a feather, I guess." I said.

"Exactly." He chuckled too, with a tiny bit more feeling. Shooing me away, he said, "Go get laid. I'll see you tomorrow."

We exchanged grins.

"See you tomorrow. Good luck with her."

"Thanks."

One last glance, and then I turned to join Justin.

Justin was pulling on his coat.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. You ready to go?"

"When you are." I smiled, but...kind of wasn't feeling it all of a sudden. Not that I had been earlier, but now? Ugh.

I quickly brushed that off, though. I hadn't spent much time on the club scene recently, and I wasn't really used to being out this late anymore. I was just tired. That was all.

As Justin and I headed for the door, I glanced over my shoulder to steal one last glimpse of Kendall. He was looking right at me, and he smiled before turning toward the bar. Probably searching the crowd for the woman who was getting them both drinks. The woman he'd no doubt be in bed with before the end of the night.

Good. I faced forward again, walking beside Justin. He put a hand on my lower back, and we flashed grins at each other, and...my stomach felt heavy. The thought of going home and going through the motions made me tired.

Which was stupid. It was ridiculous. This was why Kendall and I had come to this place. I was getting laid. Kendall was getting laid. Mission accomplished. Sex acquired. Orgasms imminent.

So why did I feel like the whole night had been a total bust?

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like both James and Kendall have found someone to be with for the night! But the real question is, will..._things _happen? Any guesses as to how the rest of their night will go? :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will pick up where this one left off, and you'll find out how the rest of the night goes for both James and Kendall!**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello again! I'm back with another new chapter!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, Guest, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing! **

**I loved reading your reactions to last chapter and your guesses as to what's going to happen next, and now you get to see if those guesses were correct!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I watched them leave, and I had no idea why my heart was sinking or why I couldn't pull my gaze away from that hand resting comfortably on the small of James' back.

Or why I jumped when they disappeared out the door and were gone.

The bouncers let in another pair-a couple of college-aged women-as if to emphasize that the packed club's population had momentarily dipped by two.

Well, shit. Apparently I was on my own for the evening.

"_Finally_." Veronica reappeared beside me, triumphantly holding up two bottles of beer.

I laughed as I took one. "Thanks. Slow service?"

She groaned, rolling her eyes before she took a deep pull of her own beer.

"Yeah. But I can't really blame them." She absently brushed her long black hair over her shoulder. "I don't know how they hear a thing over the music and everybody yelling at them."

I nodded, then sipped my own. I felt a little guilty about thinking I was alone for the rest of the night. James was gone, but Veronica wasn't.

It wasn't like I needed him to hold my hand and guide me from here. Once conversation had gotten moving between Veronica and me, I was good to go on my own. And hell, James had been halfway across the room for a while now, getting flirty with the man who'd had his hand on James' back when they'd left.

I worked my jaw, wondering why my teeth had started aching. Had I...had I been _clenching _them?

"Kendall?" Veronica's voice startled me, and when I turned to her, she cocked her head, silently asking why I'd spaced out.

"Sorry." I swallowed some more beer, then smiled. "I, uh…" Fuck, I had no idea what she'd been saying, and I felt like a dick for tuning her out, even for a second.

She laughed, though. "I was just asking of you wanted to go dance." She tilted her beer bottle toward the dance floor. "There's actually some room now that that bachelorette party cleared out."

Sure enough, there weren't quite so many bodies crushed together anymore. And maybe that was what I needed. I wanted to say I was getting a little tired-more like lethargic-but then I realized I was probably tired and lethargic because I'd been still too long.

Get out there and move, and my energy would come back. After so many years, the thought of cutting loose and dancing for once in my life sounded damn good.

So I smiled. "After you."

We quickly finished our beers, and then I followed her out onto the floor. Within a few beats, we'd been swallowed up by the crowd. Her ass pressed against me, and I held on to her hips, ostensibly to keep of us from being seperated by the undulating mob.

It was impossible not to be aroused when I was this close to an incredibly hot woman, and there was no way she didn't feel my hard-on, just like I couldn't miss how she squirmed every time I exhaled against her neck.

Much more of this, and we'd end up fucking in the restroom or making out in the backseat of a cab on our way someplace with a bed. I could picture us pressed up against a wall, or giving a bed frame a run for its money, or not even making it past her living room and winding up on the couch instead, or-

Why did the thought of all that make me so tired? It wasn't the beer. I hadn't had nearly enough to make me feel like this. For whatever reason, the thought of leaving with Veronica and having some long overdue sex just made me...meh.

Even this close to her, rock hard with our bodies grinding suggestively in the middle of the thick crowd, my heart wasn't in it. I tried to tell myself I'd just gone through that last beer a little too fast and the alcohol was making me sluggish, but I didn't believe my own bullshit.

Fact was, the bottom had fallen out of my enthusiasm, and I wasn't sure there was enough beer in this place to bring my spirits back up. It was like being at a party after the life of it had left. That point in the evening when fatigue sets in and people start checking their phones and realizing how late it is, and everything starts quickly winding down as people meander toward the door.

Except no one was leaving. The dancefloor was still packed. The crowd at the bar was still two or three people deep. The music was still loud and the bouncers were still letting people in because it was still pretty early.

No, it was just me. From the moment James had left, I'd been half-hearted at best about all of this. Which was stupid. I hadn't come here to hang out with James. Sure, he'd kind of come as my wingman, but this wasn't a guy's night out.

I'd come to this bar tonight to get out of my funk and try to break my post-divorce dry spell. I was supposed to be stepping out into the singles scene and figuring out how much things had changed since I'd taken myself off the market.

Maybe I just wasn't ready. A night out with my friend? Absolutely. Can do.

Getting back in the saddle this soon after my divorce? Yeah, maybe not.

Okay-definitely not.

And now that I'd accepted that, what little enthusiasm I had left drained away.

I tapped Veronica's shoulder, and when she twisted around to look at me, I gestured toward the side of the room. She nodded, and we made our way through the thick crowd and off the dancefloor. When we stopped, she was close to me. Really close. Just to hear me, or…?

Well, whatever. I was going to disappoint her either way.

"Listen, um…" I swallowed, and it was a struggle to speak over the loud music. "It's been a long week. I think I'm just gonna call it a night."

The letdown in her eyes was unmistakable. Her shoulders sagged, and she put a fraction of an inch more space between us as she said, "Oh."

"I'm sorry. I...I really did have a good time, and…" And was there anything I could say that didn't sound like some cheesy rehearsed cop out of a line?

"Any chance we could meet up again another time?" She asked. "Maybe for a coffee or a drink?"

"Sure. Yeah. We can definitely do that." I took out my phone. "Can I get your number?"

"Of course."

I unlocked the phone and handed it over. She entered her number, then gave me back my cell. With a smile that should have had me rethinking my escape, she said, "Text me sometime."

I smiled back, not sure if I was lying or not when I said, "I will."

Veronica kissed my cheek, and a moment later, she was disappearing into the crowd. I stared down at her name and number on my phone.

Was I an idiot? She'd been everything I'd come here to find. Maybe just a hookup for the night, or maybe some potential for an actual connection, but whatever the case, there was chemistry.

Everything from conversation to dancing had come easy. If I had a brain in my head, I'd hurry after her, tell her I changed my mind, and suggest we get out of here.

But instead, I closed my contacts and opened the Uber app.

XxX

"Shit." I muttered as I stared up the driveway.

Up ahead, in front of the garage and beside my car was James'. Which meant he was here.

_Oh what a shock. He's at his own house._

Why I'd convinced myself he'd go to the other guy's house, I had no idea, but it didn't matter. They'd come here.

Or course my Uber was already driving off, so there was no jumping in and having him take me someplace else. And I was too tired to go anywhere else anyway, so...not much to do but suck it up, go inside, and hope he and the other guy were done for the night.

As quietly as I could, I let myself in, shut the door, and headed to my room.

I was halfway down the upstairs hallway before I knew James was here and he wasn't alone. It was impossible to miss the telltale sounds of two people getting intimate-the mattress creaking softly. Quiet murmuring. A muffled laugh.

I stopped a few feet shy of my door and glared at his. The rec room downstairs was mostly intact, right? After all, he'd lived down there the first few months he'd had the house. I could go crash on that couch.

Except I'd have to make sure I was back in my own bedroom before James woke up in the morning, or things would get spectacularly awkward.

"_Oh, hey, don't mind me. I slept downstairs so I didn't have to listen to you guys."_

No, that wouldn't fly. Plus, the rec room was directly under his bedroom. Nope. So instead, I continued down the hall to slip into my bedroom. I started to carefully close the door when something shoved it open again and brushed past my leg.

I rolled my eyes and whispered, "Hey, Hazel."

The rustle and thump behind me told me she'd hopped up on my bed. Great. Now I couldn't shut the door all the way, which meant no escape from the James Getting Laid Theatre production across the hall.

I could kick her out, but...eh. She'd already been booted out of her usual bed, and she liked it in here anyway. I let her stay.

After I'd stripped down to my boxers, I got into bed, carefully situating myself so I didn't disturb Hazel, who had flopped down near the footboard.

Now that I wasn't moving around anymore, the house was quiet.

Or, well-this room was quiet. The one across the hall?

James laughed, but the sound was abruptly aborted by a gasp. I could see him in my mind's eye, laughing before he was suddenly caught off guard by a touch. Maybe a kiss. A caress. A bite?

I shut my eyes tight, trying to will away the images, but another laugh carried across the hall. This one slightly quieter. Kind of muffled. Almost conspiratorial. They were probably looking in each other's eyes, murmuring playfully while they got each other wound up, and why the hell was that thought driving me up the wall?

I'd heard friends and roommates having sex before, and it had been funny or maybe a little awkward sometimes. They hadn't all been straight, either. So why was it fucking with me so much to hear James in bed with another man?

And why…

Why the fuck…

Why the fuck was it making me _hard_?

Someone moaned in the other room. It was a sound that was both distinctly masculine and unmistakably made of arousal. I had no idea which of them it was, only that the sound sent a shiver through me. I was really horny tonight, wasn't I? Damn it, I should have stuck with Veronica. She would have been a lot more fun than using my hand while I listened to James and the other guy turning each other on.

Not...not that I was planning on jacking off to this.

Except I really was hard. And I'd been out looking for a hookup tonight, so I'd been horny all evening. I wasn't getting turned on by the sounds of two men having sex-I was turned on because damn it, _I _wanted to be having sex.

To hell with it. I pushed my boxers down far enough to free my dick, and closed my fingers around it. I was so damn turned on, that first stroke was all it took to make me gasp.

And right then, across the hall, someone cried out, "Oh fuck!"

I bit my lip and pumped myself slowly. I felt like such a creeper, jerking off to my best friend getting laid, but damn, I was too turned on to ignore this stupid hard-on. I definitely should have stuck with Veronica.

If I was this horny, then it would've been a hell of a lot more fun to do something about it with someone else, especially if I could be driving her wild too, just like James was apparently doing to-

_God, what is _wrong _with me?_

Another moan gave me goosebumps. Every time someone in the other room made a sound, my mind was instantly flooded with images of the two of them. I had no idea what they were doing, but in my head I could clearly see James' face, flushed and sweaty and contorted with pleasure and…

_That's not supposed to turn me on._

I licked my lips and kept right on stroking myself. I could think about everything that was wrong with this later, I was too fired up to analyze anything right now. I just chalked it up to being desperate to get laid, and let the mental images match the soundtrack coming from across the hall.

"Oh my god…" That definitely wasn't James' voice. "Do that again. That thing with your tongue. Just-yeah! Oh _God_!"

My toes curled and my back arched off the bed. I could suddenly see James eagerly blowing the other guy-no, blowing _me_-and I'd obviously gone _way _too long without getting laid because that was seriously, _seriously _hot, and I jerked myself faster as the moans across the hall intensified.

Fuck, what would he look like with a cock in his mouth? My cock? And if he let his eyes flick up while he was deep-throating, and-

Then came a helpless cry, the unmistakable sound of release, and it took every bit of self-control I possessed to keep from crying out with the force of my own orgasm. Lips pressed together, eyes squeezed shut, I stroked until it was too intense, and then loosened my grip and relaxed back on the mattress.

My head spun, especially as I tried to catch my breath without making a sound, and I needed a minute before I could summon the coordination to reach for a tissue.

At the end of the bed, there was some movement, followed by the heavy flop of Hazel lying against my foot with an audible huff of disdain.

Then the whole room was quiet again. The whole _house _was quiet. I thought I heard some heavy breathing and subtle movement across the hall, but my heart was beating so hard, it drowned everything else out.

_Whoa. That was…_

I swept my tongue across my lips. I had no idea how to feel having just jerked off to two men getting laid. Or the fact that one of those men was my best friend.

And I _definitely _didn't know how to feel about the fact that I'd never come that hard in my life.

* * *

_What was I thinking? _

I'd had that morning-after thought a few times in the past, especially back when I used to drink too much. Even sober, it wasn't unheard of for me to wake up, turn to the naked guy sleeping next to me, and wonder that the fuck had possessed me to think hooking up with him had been a good idea.

It was different this time. I didn't bother analyzing why. I didn't have to.

Suppressing a frustrated sigh, I got up.

I took a quick shower, keeping it extra short in case Justin wanted to take one, too. I really did need to do something about that stupid water heater. In fact, I'd had every intention of replacing it weeks ago, but I'd been a little...distracted recently.

I sighed as I rinsed some shampoo out of my hair. This thing with Kendall was getting out of control. Especially since there _wasn't _a thing between us. Just my years-old pining that had been in high gear ever since I'd picked him up at SeaTac, and it wasn't going to stop until I made a conscious effort to stop it.

_Last night was a good first step, _I told myself as I got out of the shower. _I hooked up with someone for the first time since Kendall got here. That's something, right?_

Sure, if I ignored the fact that I'd grabbed onto the first available distraction so I wouldn't have to watch Kendall getting cozy with that brunette. So I didn't have to think, from moment to moment, about what the two of them were getting up to.

Having Justin's dick down my throat had kept me from thinking of Kendall's fingers running through her hair. Making out with Justin had meant not torturing myself with Kendall's lips skating up the side of her neck. Begging Justin not to stop had shut off the flood of images of Kendall arching under her and sweating as he got closer.

_Damn it. Maybe Justin and I should go one more time just to give my brain a break._

When I came out of the bathroom, though, Justin was sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd already put on his jeans and he had his shirt in one hand and his phone in the other.

"Morning." I said.

"Morning." He looked up at me, smiled, then finished something on his phone before he rose. "Just nailing down an Uber."

"Oh. Already?"

"Yeah. I mean, last night was amazing." He kissed my cheek. "And I hate to do this, but I really have to get going. I have to get home and changed for work. You don't mind me bailing, do you?"

_Saves me the trouble of kicking you out._

I regretted my unspoken thought. I wouldn't have kicked him out. I wouldn't have been rude or treated him like shit-I'd vowed never to do that a long time ago, especially after a couple of my hookups had all but relegated me to the same level as wadded up tissues from the night before.

"No, of course not." I smiled. "Do you want some coffee before you go?"

He checked his phone, before nodding. "I'd love some. I've got about fifteen minutes before the driver gets here."

I should have been disappointed that he was making such a quick escape. I should have wanted him to stay so we could maybe fool around one more time.

After all, he was perfectly attractive, and he'd been into me. We'd talked a bit, and he was exactly my type. Unselfish, enthusiastic, and under different circumstances, maybe there could have been a possible future for us.

But my heart hadn't been in it. Oh, I'd gone through all the motions, and I'd made sure he'd got off a couple of times, but all the while, I'd wanted to be anywhere but here. Or at least here but alone.

All because I couldn't get my stupid mind off my stupid roommate.

I sighed as Justin and I left my bedroom and headed for the kitchen to get some coffee.

It was pathetic, being this hung up on a man who I knew was straight. A man who was most likely in that woman's bed. Probably getting another round in before he kissed her goodbye. They'd probably rocked each other's worlds last night, and maybe they were drinking coffee while they flirted some more and debated going at it one more time and-

I skidded to a halt so suddenly, Justin almost crashed into me.

"Kendall. Hey. I...didn't think you'd be…"

Behind me, Justin tensed. "Uh…"

"Oh. Um." I cleared my throat and turned around. "This is Kendall. My roommate. Kendall, this is Justin."

They exchanged awkwardly murmured hellos from across the kitchen island, where Kendall was sitting with a cup of coffee in his hands.

"I…" I coughed again. "Didn't realize you came home last night."

He shrugged weakly. "Surprise?"

Alarm bells went off in my head. Had something gone wrong? Should I have stuck around?

Suddenly Justin's Uber couldn't get here fast enough. Again, I felt like a dick for thinking like that, but he had one foot out the door already and I wanted the other one to follow so I could find out what was going on in Kendall's head.

Not a moment too soon, Justin and I were at my front door, exchanging one of those chaste kisses that meant we still wanted a kiss but didn't want to inflict morning breath on each other.

"I'll text you." He said.

"Sounds good." I said as we smiled at each other.

As soon as he was in his car, I went back inside and jogged up the stairs to the kitchen. Kendall was at the counter, low-slung jeans snug on his hips and a thin t-shirt showing off the body I couldn't touch. I gave myself a nanosecond to ogle him before I cleared my throat and casually pulled another mug from the cupboard.

"So when did you get home?" I asked. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Last night." He stirred some sugar into his coffee. "I, uh...bailed."

I stared at him. "You didn't go home with her?"

He shook his head. "No. I…"

He didn't finish the thought, and I didn't press because all I could think was if he'd come home early, he'd probably heard a lot. Hell, he'd probably heard everything. I'd never been quiet in bed, and I'd been louder than usual last night in a desperate bid to sound more into it than I actually was. I hadn't realized..._fuck_.

I met his eyes. Some blush crept into his cheeks. Warmth rushed into mine.

We quickly broke eye contact, and he moved away from the coffeepot, letting me fill my cup while he took his seat again. I glanced at him. He was distant and tense, and I had no idea how to read him right then.

Once I'd finished making my coffee, I faced him and cautiously said, "I really thought you two were into each other."

"Yeah. Me too." He laughed humorlessly, probably going for self-deprecating and landing closer to mortified. "Guess I just suck at closing the deal."

I didn't laugh. Cradling my cup in both hands, I watched him over the counter. I had no idea what to say.

Kendall stared into his coffee cup for a moment, then sighed. "I thought we'd end up...I mean, I really wanted to...I don't know." He exhaled hard, shoulders sagging. "Maybe I'm just not ready for this after all."

"You don't think so?"

He half-shrugged. "If last night was any indication, I need some more time before I put myself out there. I mean, I was doing fine with her, and we were having a good time, but then it was like my heart suddenly wasn't in it. She was turning me on like crazy, but I…" He lifted his gaze, his eyes so full of emotion they almost shoved me back a step. "I couldn't do it."

"Then don't push yourself." I said. "There's no rush, you know? You just got out of a marriage, and you're still getting your whole life back together." I cringed. "Maybe I pushed you too hard to-"

"No, you didn't." He shook his head. "I wanted that. The push was exactly what I needed to put myself out there, and I _did _want to meet someone...right up until I didn't."

I frowned, wishing like hell I could read his mind and understand what had changed. What in the world had flipped that switch?

I settled on quietly murmuring, "I'm sorry it didn't go down the way you'd hoped."

"Eh." He cracked a faint smile and looked at me through his lashes. "How did your night go?"

"Um..." I cleared my throat, my face was on fire now. _As if you don't know how my night went. _Except...he really didn't. Oh, he knew about the loud sex. He probably knew Justin and I had both gotten off more than once.

But he didn't know the rest, and I didn't know why the rest bothered me so much. It wasn't like Kendall was homophobic. He lived with a gay man, after all, and that meant overhearing two men in bed was always a possibility. And he didn't seem disgusted or upset by it.

So why was _I _disgusted with myself and upset about the whole thing? Or...hell, what _did _I feel about it all? Because there were a lot of feelings coursing through me right then, and I couldn't put a name on a single one of them.

"James?" He appeared beside me, startling me. I'd been so caught up in my own thoughts, I hadn't noticed him getting up and coming around the island. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm…" I took a sip of coffee to buy myself some time, but it still wasn't enough to come up with a decent explanation. Instead, I settled on, "Just feel kind of bad for subjecting a roommate to…"

"It's okay." There was a smile in his voice, and when I chanced a look at his face, the smile was on his lips, too. "You didn't know I was here, and I'm glad you were having a good time."

_Oh, Kendall. If only you knew._

"Well." I forced a smile. "If you're not ready, we can bail on the whole club scene for a while."

Kendall nodded. "Probably not a bad idea. Guess I need to spend a little more time getting back on my feet than I thought."

"It's okay. Everyone bounces back from things like that in their own time." I couldn't resist, and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "You'll get there when you get there."

"Hopefully sooner than later." He paused. "Anyway. I need to get down to the storage place today and get things arranged so my stuff can be delivered. I should probably make myself halfway presentable."

"Do you need help with things at the storage place?"

"Nah." He shot me a lopsided grin. "I'll drag you there when it's time for the heavy lifting."

"Bring it." I flexed my bicep. "I've been training for this."

He laughed with some actual feeling, rolled his eyes, and went to put his coffee cup in the sink. "Is there enough hot water for me to get a shower?"

"Should be."

"Okay. Well. I'll see you later today?"

"Yeah." I brought my own coffee cup up for a sip. "See you."

One last quick smile, and he left the kitchen. As he walked away, I lowered my cup without bothering to take that sip. My throat tightened, and what little coffee I'd swallowed threatened to come back up.

I'd always known I had it bad for Kendall.

But somehow knowing the man I loved had overheard me having sex with someone I'd only been with because he'd pulled my focus away from him...that left me with a sick knot burning in my gut. I still didn't know what to call any of these feelings, but I didn't like them at all.

_Question is...what do I do about them?_

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like both Kendall and James had an interesting night. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! There's another chapter coming soon! It should be up sometime this weekend.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello everyone! I wasn't planning on having this up until around Tuesday or Wednesday, but here we are! :P**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing! **

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

No matter how much I tried to avoid them, phone calls with my ex-wife were inevitable.

Once the divorce was final, we could both move on and never have to talk to each other again, but in the meantime, a certain amount of communication had to happen.

In theory, we could have had our lawyers play go-between for a lot of it, but that got really, _really_ expensive, so when she called me at work one Thursday afternoon, I bit the bullet answered.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Hey." She paused as if she wanted me to say something, but then she took a deep breath. "I just wanted to let you know we're probably getting an offer on the house soon."

"Oh. Good." That was a hell of a relief. We wouldn't make much money off it, particularly after we'd split it, but even a little windfall would be seriously helpful. "Do I need to sign anything?"

"Not yet. The buyer was going back to talk to her agent, so we'll probably see an offer tomorrow. She sounds pretty eager to close it as quickly as possible, though, which is why I wanted to give you a heads up."

"Sounds great. I'll keep an eye on my inbox."

"Okay."

Silence set in again. My stomach was in knots-its default state whenever she called-and I suspected I'd be tense and distracted for the rest of the day. It always happened after we'd talked, even if it was a peaceful conversation about something benign.

It always happened...except one time.

Minutes after our last conversation, I'd been back in the club watching James sing, mesmerized by him the same way I'd been at prom. Then he'd regaled his friends with stories of my cooking, and we'd found ourselves casually cuddled up in the booth almost like we had on his couch that one night.

Any other night, I'd have been grinding my teeth and tearing my hair out over talking to her, but that night, her call had stopped mattering because...James had happened.

Jo exhaled on the other end.

"All right, I need to go. That's all I-"

"Wait." I said before glancing at my office door. It was shut, and half the staff in this part of the building were in a meeting. There probably wasn't anyone around to overhear, and these walls were pretty thick. "Before you go…"

On the other end, she sighed. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you about something?"

"Um...okay? I guess?"

I swallowed, eyeing the closed door again. "Why were you so convinced I was going to leave you for James?"

There was a subtle catch of breath, so that probably wasn't the question she'd been anticipating.

"What?"

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead.

"I mean, you thought I was screwing some of my coworkers, including some of the guys. You thought I was going to leave you for James. Was...was there something that made you think I was into men?"

She was quiet for a long moment. I was about to tell her she didn't have to answer when she finally spoke.

"Sometimes there was just this...vibe, I guess. When you were talking to a guy, or even looking at one." She paused. "You don't look at men the way other straight guys do. You never have. And I guess that made me wonder." Another pause. "Why?"

"I don't know. I'm...I was just curious."

"And as for James…" She didn't sound defensive and hostile like she usually did when we discussed James. She sounded resigned if anything. Maybe sad. "Whenever you've been around him, you're practically walking on air afterward. That was why I hated joining you two. I hated how happy you seemed around him."

I blinked, struggling to unpack everything in that comment. "You didn't like me being happy?"

"It's not that. It's...it's how happy he seemed to make you. It bothered me, you know? You were never that happy with me."

I pressed my lips together. _That probably had more to do with us than him, Jo._

"Why is this all coming up now? Is something going on between-"

"No." I said quickly. "It came up when I was talking to my therapist the other day." Little white lie, but whatever. "So I was thinking about it."

"Oh. I see."

"Anyway, that's all I wanted to know." I drummed my fingers on my desk. "Just, um, keep me updated about the house?"

We hung up a couple minutes later, but I didn't get back to work, That short conversation had fried something in my brain, and I needed a minute to make sense of it.

Any other time, I would have written off her answers as more gaslighting and deflection. To a degree, I was still convinced that was what all her accusations had ever been-just a mind game to keep me from noticing she was the one who was cheating, and a way for her to blame me for driving her to it. But I couldn't help but feel like there _was _a nugget of truth there. Something legitimate tucked into all the bullshit.

Or maybe I was just reading too much into it because I wanted things to make sense, and if my ex-wife had seen something in me and James, then maybe that would make sense of me jerking off to the sounds of James getting laid the other night. Especially the part where I'd started imagining James going down on me, and had nearly lost my mind.

_Had _she seen something I hadn't?

If she had, what did I do with that? She'd seen something. My exes over the years had seen something. The other night had happened. And…

I exhaled hard into the silence of my office.

_What the hell is happening?_

XxX

"You look like you had a rough day." James said as he shrugged off his jacket in the kitchen. "Everything okay?"

"Eh. I think I could use a drink. Several, actually."

"Oh yeah?"

I nodded. "Phone call with the ex-wife."

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Okay, yeah, I think that's grounds for a drink or several. Why don't you go see if there's a movie on, and I'll open a bottle?"

I smiled. Trust him to know exactly what I needed tonight.

And my heart skipped.

"_It's how happy he seemed to make you. It bothered me, you know?"_

I gulped, watching James peruse the well-stocked wine rack.

"_You were never that happy with me."_

James glanced over at me. "What?"

"Um..." I cleared my throat. "Uh...any particular movie?"

He pursed his lips, then shrugged. "You're the one who had a shitty afternoon. You pick."

"Oh. Okay." I forced myself to break eye contact and walk into the living room instead of just staring at him while ex-wife's words echoed in my head. What did all of this mean? Or did it mean anything at all? It was entirely possible I was fixating on-

James came in cradling two wine glasses between his fingers and carrying the bottle in his other hand, and my thoughts scattered. He smiled at me.

"Is white okay? I felt like something sweet tonight."

"Yeah. Yeah, white sounds good." I gestured at the TV. "Want to watch the South Park movie?"

"Oh hell yeah, I do." He dropped onto the couch beside me. "Give me crude and immature any day."

"Some things never change, right?"

"Exactly." He paused. "Food. We need some food. Should we order a pizza?"

"Pizza, cartoons, and wine?" I laughed as I picked up one of the glasses. "Sounds like the perfect evening."

_Especially spending it with you._

XxX

Two movies later, James opened up another bottle of wine.

Shit, how many had we blown through already? Eh, in the mood I was in, I was pretty sure I could kill two or three more tonight, so bring it on.

_You have to work tomorrow, remember? And the class reunion is tomorrow night. Maybe don't overdo it?_

All right. One more bottle between us, and then we'd be done.

He poured us each some more, took a sip, and turned to me. "Okay, so now that you're good and lubed up-"

I choked on my wine and almost spat it on him.

He laughed. "Just fucking with you. Relax." He winked. "Seriously, though...now that you've had a few gallons of wine, what's going on? What did the Wicked Witch of the East say?"

"Not much, honestly. Just an update on selling the house. We only talked for a few minutes. She thinks we have a buyer, so…" I held up my hand with my fingers crossed.

James didn't seem convinced. "That's it?"

"Does it need to be more than that?" I exhaled. "Just talking to her about the damn weather stresses me out."

"Hmm. Fair." He was eyeing me, though, as if he could see a card I was trying to hide.

I shifted uncomfortably. There _had_ been more to our conversation, but was that something I wanted to talk about with James? Was there enough wine in this house for that?

I stared into my wineglass, wondering if I should refill it again.

"Kendall?" James touched my arm, and his voice was soft. "What's going on?"

"I…" I glanced at him, then drained my glass and reached for the bottle. I topped us both off, put the bottle back down, and turned to him. "We talked about whether or not she thinks I'm gay."

That seemed to sober him up in an instant. The playful smile vanished, and he looked in my eyes as he absently swirled his wine.

"And what conclusion did you come to?"

"Well, she doesn't think I'm gay." I stared into my glass. "But she doesn't particularly think I'm straight either."

"So...bi?"

"Maybe?" I lifted my gaze. "She just thinks there's this vibe when I'm around men. Something that isn't there between straight guys."

James swallowed. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. I…" I forced a laugh. "It doesn't make sense, right? I mean, I'm a grown man. I think I'd know by now if dudes turned my crank."

James laughed too, but then he shrugged. "You never know, man. I mean, have you ever tried anything with a guy?"

I almost choked again. "What?"

"What? It's a fair question."

_Does masturbating while two men are having sex in the next room count?_

I took a sip just to wet my mouth again. "Did you ever try anything with a girl?"

James snorted, waving his drink and almost dropping it. "Fuck yeah, I did."

"What? When?"

"In junior high." He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Come on, dude. What do you think us theatre techs were doing backstage?"

"Uh, theatre tech stuff?"

"Well yeah, that, but we were also doing the other theatre techs."

I sat up. "In junior high?"

He waved his hand again, this time keeping a better grip on the glass. "Okay, we weren't fucking or anything, but I'd done enough that by ninth grade, I _definitely _knew I was gay."

"Oh." I fought the urge to fidget nervously. "So, what? I can't say I'm definitely straight until I've sucked a few dicks?"

"I did not say that." He wagged a finger at me. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Just put a dick in your mouth?" Whoa, I was getting drunk. My filter was gone.

James laughed again, but he seemed almost flustered, his cheeks coloring as he dropped his gaze.

"I'm always down for a dick in my mouth." He said before he took a long drink, and why the hell was it so fascinating to watch his throat work as he swallowed? Probably because I'd had a little too much wine. Or a lot too much wine.

I set the glass on the table and nudged it away.

"Look." He balanced his own glass on his knee. "I'm not saying you have to try anything. I'm just asking if you've ever asked yourself if you _want _to?"

I studied him, wondering if I was a tad too drunk to analyze all of that.

He put his free hand on my leg, his palm hot through my jeans.

"Everyone just assumes they're straight. And a lot of people are. And that's okay, you know? But how many people actually think about it? Stop and ask, _am _I into dudes? _Would _I like sucking dick? It's totally okay if the answer is no. I just don't think a lot of"-he lifted his hand to make air quotes-"_straight people _have really considered it." I almost didn't catch that last part because his hand landed on my leg again.

"Huh." I swallowed, wondered if I needed some more wine after all. "I never thought of it like that."

"So, you never thought about being gay? Or at least bi?"

"I guess not. Aside from repeatedly telling people I'm straight."

James shook his head. "That's not thinking about being 's being defensive when someone suggests you are. And in my experience, people who've spent as much time as you have shooting down the suggestion are the people who've given it the least amount of consideration."

I furrowed my brow.

James sipped his wine. "If everyone would just back off and not browbeat people, or accuse them of being gay like it's some horrible thing, then no one would need to feel defensive. But they do, and then it's really easy for someone to get so defensive to everyone else that they shut _themselves _off to the possibility, too." He sighed. "There's only so many times you say 'I'm not gay' to the rest of the world before you convince yourself, too."

"Unless I'm really not gay."

"You probably aren't." He shrugged. "You obviously like women. Maybe you're straight. Maybe you're bi. Who knows? But _you _won't know unless you actually think about it."

I thought about it for a moment. It was an interesting question. _Did _I find men attractive? I genuinely had never considered it. I'd asked Jo what made her think I was into men, and I'd questioned what it meant that I'd jerked off over James and his one night stand, but _was _I attracted to men? Was there really something that my ex-wife and ex-girlfriends had seen that I'd been oblivious to?

"Huh. Maybe I _should_ try it."

James' eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean…" Heat rushed into my face, and it wasn't from the wine. Was it? "You're right. I've never thought about it before. So maybe I should."

James set his drink on the coffee table next to mine, then sat back beside me. He seemed closer now, but I couldn't decide if that was real, the alcohol, or my imagination.

"You're serious?"

I gulped. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

"So, if I offered…" He raised his eyebrows.

My pulse did things it had never done before, and I wondered if James' mouth had always been that interesting. "_Are _you offering?"

"Maybe." He half-shrugged. "I mean, I don't want things to be weird between us, but if we can agree it's a one-time thing to see if you like it…"

I sat up a little. "Uh, how much are you offering, exactly?"

James laughed and patted my leg. "Relax. I wasn't going to drop my pants and offer you my ass." He winked. "Just a kiss."

"A…" I swallowed again. "Oh."

Kissing a man. Kissing _James_. The thought was oddly intriguing. Kind of thrilling. Arousing? I wasn't sure. But it was definitely doing _something_, and it wasn't repulsing me.

"You don't have to." He said. "But if you're curious, just say the word."

I gulped, my eyes flicking to his lips. How had I never noticed how full they were?

"I'm definitely curious."

James studied me for several long seconds before he scooted closer to me, and now his leg was against mine, touching from our hips to our knees. He was right-I'd never given a second's thought to being with a guy. Now that we were sitting this close, now that I couldn't help glancing from his eyes to his lips and back...holy shit.

"So, you want to?" He lifted his eyebrows. "Just to see what it feels like?"

I couldn't speak, so I nodded.

A little grin flickered across his gorgeous mouth. Then he put a hand on my knee, maybe to steady himself, and leaned in closer. My heart pounded as I mirrored him.

Before this moment, I'd never thought about kissing a man, but suddenly I wanted-no, _needed_-to know if his lips were as soft as they looked, and if his fingers would be warm or cool against my face, or how his stubbled chin would feel against mine, or how this was making me hard, or-

He stiffened.

I stopped.

His hand lifted off my leg, and he drew back, eyes widening with something like horror. "Oh fuck."

"What?" My pulse surged. "What's-"

"I can't. I'm sorry." He got up and grabbed his glass off the coffee table, nearly sloshing the contents onto both of us.

"Wait, what?" I rose, too. "James, what's-"

"This was a bad idea. I'm sorry I-" He shook his head. "I'm so sorry."

Then he disappeared down the hall. His bedroom door closed with a quiet click, and I stood there in the living room, jaw slack and heart thumping.

Into the silence, I whispered, "James?" I didn't even know why. I was just so stunned and confused. And hard.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

**Done! So...that just happened. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will pretty much pick up where this one left off. I'm not sure when that'll be up just yet, but I'll try not to keep you all waiting too long for that.**

**Until then! :)**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello everyone! We meet again. :P**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I wasn't usually the type for dramatic exits or hiding from people, but damn it, I needed to get away from him. I needed...I needed a minute. Or maybe the rest of the night. Or _something_.

Safely in my bedroom, I closed my eyes and leaned against the door. I started to bring my hands up to run them through my hair, and realized I was still holding my wineglass. At least I had the presence of mind to set it on the dresser before I dropped it on the carpet.

Restlessness kicked in, and I started pacing across the bedroom floor, arms folded across my stomach like I might be sick. Hell, maybe I would.

_God. What the fuck was I thinking?_

Because it sure as hell hadn't been entirely an altruistic need to help my friend figure out if he was entirely heterosexual. Or a result of too much wine. Or because I was horny tonight.

I'd wanted Kendall for years, and I'd wanted him more than I'd ever wanted any other man, but not like this. Not when it was just a wine-fueled experiment. I could take rejection, but I couldn't handle kissing the man I loved, and then having him pull back and say "_Well, that settles it. I am _definitely _straight._"

And that was exactly what would have happened tonight.

I would have had my years-old fantasy followed by the worst rejection imaginable, and it would have fucking broken me, and there would have been no one to blame but myself.

I wanted to be angry at Kendall, but even in the middle of this emotional maelstrom, I knew I couldn't blame him. I'd offered, for God's sake. I'd needled him about how much consideration he'd given to being attracted to men, and then offered myself up on a silver fucking platter so he could decide if he wanted me. Wanted _men_. Not me-_men_.

_Whatever helps you sleep at night._

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, _damn it_.

What was I supposed to do now? Go back out there, pretend everything was fine, and act like that playful little drunk experiment hadn't left me feeling like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest? I tried to tell myself I was overreacting. That I was just being a drama queen. But I didn't think I was.

With any other man, I would've been fine. A kiss to see if he liked it? Maybe a blowjob or something? Sure. No problem. I could separate sex and love, and if a guy wanted to experiment, as long as we both knew that was all it was, I could be totally onboard.

But not with Kendall. I'd been in way too deep over him for way too long to be so casual about touching him, especially when we both knew it would just solidify his heterosexuality. Plus, we'd have to see each other every goddamned day until he moved out, and hell if I knew when that would be.

Sighing, I sank onto the foot of the bed.

And for the first time, I hoped Kendall found his own place sooner than later.

XxX

After the worst night of sleep I'd had in a long time, I gently pried my arm from under my sleeping cat's dead weight, and winced as I flexed my numb fingers to get the circulation moving again. She huffed irritably, kicked me with her hind leg, and covered her face with her front paw.

"Oh, don't be such a diva." I scratched her side, and she grudgingly started purring. "That's what I thought."

Then she kicked me again, so I stopped. I got up carefully so I didn't disturb her more than I already had, and went in to take a shower.

As the hot water ran over me, my mind went back to the same place it had been for most of the night-that moment on my couch.

I replayed it a few times until I'd tortured myself to the point of almost tears again. Then I wondered if it was bothering Kendall.

He was probably wondering why I'd bolted, but was that the only thing about last night that didn't sit right? Assuming he hadn't just shrugged it off and gone on with his life.

No. That wasn't like him. I had no doubt he'd noticed, and he was probably worried. He was giving me space because he knew me that well. He'd wait for me to come to him.

I hadn't gone back out to the living room last night. Kendall hadn't made any attempt to break the silence. No knock at my door. No cautious text. At some point, I'd heard him go to bed, and I'd spent most of the night wondering if he could sleep. It didn't seem fair for him to be able to sleep when I was wide awake.

Eventually, though, I'd drifted off. It wasn't anything I'd call restful, but with a little coffee, I'd get through the day. Maybe. Hopefully.

And then what? How were Kendall and I supposed to move past last night? Was it even a big deal to him?

Maybe it shouldn't have been such a big deal to me. It wasn't like Kendall had been trying to take advantage of me or use me. I'd brought up the subject. I'd offered.

I didn't know if it was the wine that had lowered my inhibitions, or if I'd just wanted to grab onto the one and only opportunity I'd ever have to know what it felt like to kiss Kendall. Either way, I'd been stupid, and now I was scared shitless we'd damaged our friendship. That _I'd _damaged our friendship.

Fuck. I thumped my fist against the shower wall. After all this time, I finally had my friend back, and now...what if I'd fucked things up?

I was so caught up in my thought that I only vaguely registered the water starting to cool, and a moment later, I grunted in surprise when ice cold water hit my back. I flailed to both get out of the way and shut off the shower at the same time.

Holy shit. I was awake now.

I glared up at the showerhead. Well this morning was off to a fabulous start, wasn't it?

With a sigh, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a thick towel of the rack.

"Idiot." I muttered, and wrapped the towel around myself before I started shivering. I felt like a dumbass because I knew the lukewarm water was the brief warning before it all turned cold, but I'd been off in dramaland and…

_God, I'm going to be useless at work today, aren't I?_

_And probably an awesome conversationalist at the reunion tonight._

I froze, meeting my own wide-eyed reflection.

That was tonight, wasn't it?

The thought of walking into that hotel ballroom made my skin crawl. My nerves came on so fast and so strong, they made me queasy. It wasn't even the prospect of facing all those classmates who'd probably forgotten who I was, though. It was the prospect of facing the one who lived with me.

My throat tightened. Great. Just what I needed. An evening with him among all those people who thought I was really _with _him. Fuck.

But first, I had to get through this morning with him since we could never seem to avoid each other before we left for our respective jobs.

I took a deep breath. Okay. Get dressed. Get some coffee. Then maybe my head would be clear enough to look this thing in the eye and unfuck it. And if I got to the kitchen sooner than later, maybe I could get some caffeine flowing before I had to face Kendall.

Or not. He was already in the kitchen.

Coffee cup in hand, he leaned against the counter, and he avoided my eyes. "Hey."

"Hey."

And...silence. What a shock. Because how the hell were we supposed to talk about last night? I wasn't even sure I had the vocabulary for it, never mind the intestinal fortitude to get through that conversation. I knew damn well it would only fester if we tried to ignore it, but right now, this morning, on this little sleep and with this many thoughts ricocheting around in my throbbing head, I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"Listen, um…" I rocked on my heels. "I think I'm going to skip the reunion."

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I think I'm going to stay home. Get some work done on the house." I gestured at my partially gutted living room as if he might have forgotten we were basically living in a construction zone.

Kendall studied me. I could read the _is this about last night? _loud and clear in his eyes, but he didn't actually ask the question, and I wasn't about to answer it. I was at a loss for a lot of words this morning, and I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't face all those people, especially not the dozen or so I'd run into over the years who'd casually asked me the same question:

"_Are you and Kendall still a thing?"_

Because everyone who'd ever known the two of us had assumed we were. Or would be. Or should be. It had bothered me then, especially whenever I'd had to smile while they'd unintentionally salted my wound, but there was no way in hell I could handle it tonight.

Kendall cleared his throat. "If you really want to go, I can skip it."

Our eyes met.

Dropping my gaze, I shook my head.

"No. I...I think I'm just going to stay in tonight." I forced a smile and managed to make eye contact again for all of two seconds. "Say hi to anyone we both know."

"James, if you want to-"

"Don't. Okay?" I hated how bad my voice shook. "I need to sit this one out."

I thought he might argue or at least _try_ to dig into why I was bailing. But then again, he probably knew exactly what had triggered all this even if he didn't know everything going on in my head, and knowing him, he wouldn't want to leave all this alone.

He didn't like tension. I hated awkward conversations, but Kendall had always hated awkward silences, so I cringed inwardly, waiting for him to broach the subject and start pulling this thing apart even though it was killing me just thinking about it.

But he didn't.

"I'm, uh…" He cleared his throat. "I'm going to go finish getting ready for work." He dumped the rest of his coffee down the drain, put the unrinsed cup in the sink, and left without saying anything more.

As soon as he was gone, I slumped against the counter and whispered "Fuck" into the silence. I felt like an idiot for being so dramatic about last night, and I had no idea how to explain _why _I was being so dramatic about it. Why it bothered me so much. Why it hurt so much.

Down the hall, I could hear him talking to Hazel, so she must have wandered into his bedroom like she sometimes did. Usually, I would think it was cute, listening to him explaining to her why she couldn't stay on his bed while he was at work and that no, she couldn't have his shoelaces, but today it just made my heart ache.

Closing my eyes, I wiped a hand over my face. More and more, I wanted to start dropping hints about him finding his own place. I could pick up an apartment guide while I was out. Send him a link to some websites. Anything to gently nudge him in the direction of leaving.

Which made me feel like an asshole, but after last night, I couldn't shake the realization that letting him move in with me had been a mistake. I hardly would have let him wind up on the street, and I'd never kick him out, but I wasn't sure my sanity could handle this arrangement much longer. _Any _longer.

I wanted him in my life, but maybe not in my house. If last night had taught me anything, it was that where Kendall and I were concerned, there was definitely such a thing as _too close_. Especially since getting closer to him wasn't an option.

So how the hell was I supposed to put some comfortable distance between us?

* * *

There were more people at the reunion than I'd anticipated. Our class had been huge, but I was amazed at how many had actually shown up tonight. A lot of them had brought spouses and partners too, so the chain hotel ballroom was crowded as hell.

Drink in hand, I surveyed the sea of faces. I wasn't intimidated or anything. Not at all. Not me.

God, this would be so much easier with my fearless extrovert of a best friend beside me, but-

No. I was _not _going to think about that right now. James and I would work things out. Everything had been weird since we'd almost kissed, but it was nothing we couldn't talk over and move past. Right?

A ball of nerves had taken up residence in my stomach the moment he'd walked out of the room last night, and it seemed to triple in size right then. We _could _move past this, couldn't we?

So much for not thinking about James. Damn it.

I closed my eyes and took a breath.

Okay. When I got home, we'd talk. For now, I was here, and I wouldn't get this opportunity for another ten years. I'd stay, catch up with people I hadn't seen in ages, and then go home to James.

_Not that I'm putting that off or avoiding it or anything. Nooo, not me._

I took a drink and tamped those thoughts down, promising myself over and over that I _would _talk to James after I got home. In the meantime…

I kept to the sidelines at first, something I'd always done if I came to a big event alone. I signed the guestbook, looked at the big collage someone had made of photos of people over the years, and made small talk for a moment with someone who I thought might've sat next to me in Geometry tenth grade, but couldn't be sure.

At the far end of the room, there was a memorial poster for our classmates who'd passed away over the last ten years.

That was a hard thing to take in. Intellectually, I'd always understood that with a class of over four hundred people, there was a chance that a handful of them wouldn't make it. Still, seeing them all in one place-that was breathtaking.

I scanned the familiar names and faces. I'd gone to Julie Ratner's funeral six months after graduation. I'd heard through the grapevine about Alex Waters and Julio Ruiz, who'd been in a car wreck on their way to Stevens Pass to go skiing a few years later. Seeing Jessica Holt, Quinn Chambers, and Aaron Harvey on the board took my breath away. I'd had no idea about any of them.

I wondered if James knew about Dylan Parker. They'd been good friends back then. Maybe not as close as James and _I _had been, but close.

And I couldn't ask James because he wasn't here now.

My gut clenched at the memory of how weird things had gotten after last night. Was that why he'd bailed on the reunion? Because of me? He'd insisted he hadn't really wanted to come, but-

_Stop. Just stop._

This reunion was big enough, we could have both shown up and not crossed paths much at all, but even still, maybe spending an evening apart was good for both of us. At least until we could figure out how to make things less weird.

Desperate for some distraction, I made myself wander into the crowd in search of people I knew. This was the first time I'd seen a lot of these people since graduation. Turned out time had been kind to some and less so to others.

Trevor Maxwell-my lab partner in Biology and my seatmate in the trumpet section-was still the same smiling dude he'd been back them, just with an incredibly sweet girlfriend and slightly different glasses.

We caught up for a little while before separating to keep mingling, and I was glad I came if only to chat with Trevor for a minute. He was good people, always had been, and I was happy to see that life had treated him well.

I didn't even recognize Isaac Lahey until I read his nametag. He'd been a Marilyn Manson clone goth kid back in the day, but now? Jesus fuck. His light brown hair was cut neat and short. Instead of Liquid Paper white, his complexion was faintly tanned. The eye makeup was gone. He'd replaced his long back trench coat with a well-cut blazer, which he wore over a faded gray Megadeth T-shirt.

Okay, so some things hadn't changed. If not for the t-shirt, I might not have believed it was actually him.

Who knew that under the attitude, the heavy makeup, and the stringy dyed black hair lurked an incredibly good-looking guy with stunning dark eyes and-

_Wait._

_Are you checking out Isaac Lahey?_

Holy shit. _Was _I checking-

"Kendall?" A woman's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I turned to see a pretty brunette coming toward me with a cocktail in her hand.

I blinked, racking my brain as I tried to place her. I glanced at her nametag-Stephanie King-and the piece clicked into place. She'd sat with Trevor and me in band for two years.

"Stephanie! Holy shit. How are you?"

She smiled. "I'm good. How about you?"

"I'm doing all right. Just moved back to the area, actually."

"Yeah? Where were you before?"

"Chicago. Went there for school and never came back." I paused for a sip of my drink. "How about you? What's been going on?"

She shrugged. "Nothing much. Just trying to make it like everyone else here."

I chuckled a little at that, and we started chatting for a bit. And everything was going great until she asked a question that I probably should have anticipated.

Stephanie looked around. "So, is James here with you?"

I nearly spat out my drink, but managed to calmly reply, "What? No. Why would he be here with me?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, I thought…" Cheeks coloring, she cleared her throat. "I saw on Facebook...I mean, I...someone said you were living together, and…" She paused to clear her throat. "I thought you guys were…"

"We…" I shook myself. "No, no. I mean, I _am _living with him, but I'm just crashing in his spare room while I get on my feet after my divorce." I laughed, hoping it didn't sound as forced as it was. "We're not dating or anything."

"Oh. Wow. I…" She laughed nervously. "It's funny. I always thought you two would end up together."

I blinked, completely at a loss for what to say. Usually I'd insist I was straight, but for some reason, this time I couldn't say anything at all.

"Well. Um." She cleared her throat again. "Tell him I said hi, would you?"

"I will." _If I can figure out how to talk to him at all._

We drifted in opposite directions, but my mind stayed cemented to that conversation. It wasn't like it was the first time someone had implied they were expecting James and me to announce we were a couple.

"_Fuck, dude." _Madison-my girlfriend at the time-had elbowed me during James' graduation party karaoke performance and rolled her eyes. _"Why don't you two just get a room already?"_

"_You guys seem...close." _A girlfriend in college had mused with no small amount of sarcasm the first time she'd met him.

"_One of these days," _Jo had said through her tears, _"you're going to go to Seattle and not come back because you're going to stay with _him."

And now, even a classmate I hadn't seen in ten years clearly remembered how convinced she was that I was-or should be-with James.

What the hell had they all seen that I didn't? Two guys could be close friends without it being sexual or romantic. So what if one of us was gay? Even if we were both gay, there was no reason we couldn't just be friends, but it didn't matter anyway because one of us _wasn't _gay.

"_You never know, man," _his voice echoed in my head. _"I mean, have you ever tried anything with another guy?"_

I swallowed. Up until last night, no. But then things had gone to shit and I'd been a wreck ever since. The damn house had thrummed with the same tension that was lurking in my gut.

In my mind's eye, I could see the way he'd looked at me right before it had all gone wrong. How our eyes had locked as we'd moved in for that kiss that never happened. I didn't think anyone had ever looked at me like that before.

But then he'd broken away and walked out, and he hadn't been able to meet my eyes since. I still couldn't figure out what exactly had happened. Was he just not into me enough to stomach the idea of kissing me? Or had I done something wrong?

Maybe he'd been weirded out by the way I'd been staring at him. Because damn, in the seconds before he'd pulled back, I'd been hypnotized by him in a way I didn't think I'd ever experienced in my life. Had that shown on my face? Bothered him somehow?

_And when have I ever looked at someone like that?_

My heart never skipped.

Never. Not once. Not my ex-girlfriends. Not my ex-wife. Not the woman I'd almost hooked up with the night James and I had gone to a club.

I'd _never _looked at anyone like I'd looked at James last night. For a fleeting moment, there had been nothing and no one in my world except for him and the anticipation of what it might feel like to have those full lips against mine.

And right on the heels of that truth came another.

No one had ever looked at _me _with as much hurt in their eyes as he had this morning.

The sudden urge to bolt out of the room was nearly overwhelming. My heart raced like it was priming my body for a sprint from here to the car. It wasn't fight or flight-more like the realization that this was absolutely _not _where I needed to be.

Why the hell was I wasting my evening with people I hadn't bothered to stay in contact with all this time? Screw nostalgia. I needed to be with the one person who had, no matter how many times I'd fucked up at his expense, always been there for me.

The one who'd always been such a normal, permanent figure in my life that I'd never once stopped to wonder if there was something else to our friendship.

And if I didn't unfuck things with him sooner rather than later, I might never get the chance to figure that one out.

I left my half-finished drink on an empty table and, without another word to anyone, got the hell out of there.

* * *

**Done! So...it looks like Kendall's heading home to do...something. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm so bummed that this story is quickly coming to an end. There are only a few chapters left, around three or four, and the next one will be up sometime next week.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello everyone! It's time for another new chapter!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy! :)**

* * *

I never thought I'd be relieved to have Kendall out of the house, but damn, I was.

While he went to our class reunion and probably found some old classmate to bang for a few hours, I could stay home and be pathetic in peace.

In a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt that was way too ratty to wear in public, I flopped onto the couch with my phone in one hand and the remote in the other.

I'd debated a bottle of wine or something, but I knew me. If I started self-medicating, I'd drink too much too fast. Then tomorrow would be even more miserable than tonight.

No thanks.

Ice cream wasn't on the menu tonight either. Eating myself sick would be about as fun as drinking myself senseless; lesson learned the hard way.

That, and ice cream made me think of sitting at Cold Stone with Kendall, and damn him, I didn't want to think about him tonight at all.

So I munched on a handful of M&Ms-hey, I could eat a _few _of my emotions-and alternated between perusing Netflix and Grindr. Nothing on either sounded appealing.

I gave up on Grindr first. What was the point in trying to go out and get laid? _I _wouldn't have fucked me tonight. Not when I was this depressed and pissed off and pitiful.

Screw it. I'd find some ass another night. All I wanted to do for now was huddle under my grandma's afghan and watch some stand-up comedy specials I'd seen dozens of times.

I was halfway through the third special, and starting to kind of feel better. Mostly I wasn't thinking about why I felt like shit, and that went a long way toward making me feel _less _like shit. I'd call it a win.

But then headlights arced across the ceiling-a car turning down the driveway-and I swore around an M&M.

The soft purr of an engine approached. Slowed. Stopped. The lights went out.

Nobody just showed up here, and delivery guys always left their engines running. Not that they ever really came by this late.

"Oh, fuck my life." I grumbled. I'd hoped Kendall would stay late at the reunion, but it wasn't even nine o'goddamned-clock and he was home.

Unless...shit. Was it Jett?

Panic shot through me as footsteps came up the porch steps, but then keys jingled, and an odd sense of relief and rising dread made me squirm on the couch. It wasn't Jett, which was good. I was in no mood to deal with him.

It was, however, Kendall.

And I was so _not _ready to be in the same building as him.

I held my breath as he unlocked the front door, shut it, and turned the deadbolt. I listened to each step he took up to the living room, and I prayed and prayed and prayed and promised my firstborn and a lifetime of celibacy to whichever god made Kendall turn right instead of left.

_Don't come in here, don't come in here, don't come in-_

Goddammit.

I could feel him hovering in the living room doorway, and there was no avoiding him, so I turned my head.

In as neutral a voice as I could, I said, "You're home early."

"Yeah." His eyes flicked away, but only for a second. "Listen, can we talk?"

My stomach somersaulted. Hangover be damned, I needed a drink if I was going to make it to the other end of _this _conversation.

"Okay." I got up and gestured for him to follow me into the kitchen. Without a word, he did. I got as far as pulling a glass out of the cupboard before he broke the silence.

"Why didn't you kiss me last night?"

I stiffened, then slowly turned to face him. "What?"

"You backed off." He swallowed, looking me right in the eyes with so many emotions I couldn't begin to identify, and his voice shook as he asked again, "Why didn't you kiss me?"

"Did…" I tried to read him even as I was trying to pull my own emotions together. Could he at least let me get a drink in my system first? Because going at this sober hurt like hell. "Did you really blow off the reunion to ask me that?"

Kendall shifted his weight. He started to cross his arms, then went with sliding his hand into his pockets. "It was bothering me."

"Enough for you to…" I shook my head. "I don't understand why it's-"

"Please." His voice was soft and plaintive. "Just tell me why you didn't kiss me."

A lump rose in my throat.

"Did you _want _me to?" I spat out the words with more venom than I intended, and we both flinched. Breaking eye contact, I sighed. "You're straight, Kendall. If you weren't, you'd have figured it out by now, and there was no point in-" I clenched my jaw.

I didn't want to spell it out to him. To tell him that even fantasizing about kissing him had been a form of self-torture, and going through with it had been more than I could handle.

He gulped. "I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. And I don't think I will until we clear the air."

Clear the air? Clear the fucking air? Did he have any idea how much this had all been eating at me? There was no clearing the air. Not in any way that didn't throw us into a whole new emotional minefield.

No matter what we did or said, talking about it would just make things worse. So would ignoring it. So...well, fuck it. If we had to look this thing in the eye and make it into something even bigger and more painful than it needed to be, we might as well get it over with.

"Fine." I folded my arms tightly across my chest to keep myself from shaking. "You really want to know?"

Kendall nodded.

I set my jaw and forced-or at least _tried _to force-my voice to stay steady.

"Because I've spent over a decade driving myself insane wondering what it would be like to be with you. And last night, I had the chance to taste it." Okay, so much for staying steady. Fuck. "But I had to stop because I can't spend the _next _decade knowing how good something is that I can't have." I swallowed hard. "I couldn't let my biggest fantasy turn into your drunken mistake and my biggest regret."

He stared at me, eyes wide and lips apart, as if he were struggling to absorb everything I'd said.

Maybe I was scared of what he'd finally say, or maybe the dam had just broken after all this time, but now that I'd started, I couldn't stop.

"I'll do anything for you, Kendall. You know that. You've always known that. But don't fucking ask me to be your experiment. If you want to fool around with a guy and see if maybe you've got a bisexual side, be my guest. But don't ask me to do it."

He blinked. "Last night was _your _idea, James. You-"

"And it was also my idea to back off." I threw back. "I wanted to indulge your curiosity, but then I realized I can't do it" Jabbing a finger at him, I shakily said, "And if you just came back here tonight to ask me to finish the job, then please feel free to get the fuck out."

"James." He put up his hands. "That's not why I'm here. I don't want to use you or experiment with you."

"Then why are you here?" My voice shook so bad it startled me, and I turned away from him so I could at least try to pull myself together. Resting one hand on the kitchen island, I squeezed my eyes shut and took some slow, deep breaths. I had just about collected my composure when Kendall broke the silence.

"You want to know why I haven't seen you in five years?"

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, but it refused to move. I didn't answer, and either he took that as a yes, or he'd intended to tell me anyway.

"After the last time I saw you, Jo and I got into it. Over you."

I shifted, but didn't turn around.

He went on. "She told me she didn't want me to see you again because every time I did, she was afraid I wouldn't come back."

"I know." I snapped without even glancing over my shoulder. "She thought you were cheating with me and every other-"

"No." He said softly. "It wasn't like that."

I forced back my emotions and faced him. Folding my arms across my chest again, I silently waited for him to go on.

He moistened his lips and set his shoulders back.

"Yes, Jo thought I was screwing everyone who got within ten feet of me. Man, woman-didn't matter. But it wasn't like that with you. She was convinced I was in love with you." My throat tightened and my stomach hit the floor, and I was _not _fucking prepared when Kendall whispered, "And I think she was right."

My knees almost dropped out from under me.

"What?"

Eyes locked on mine, he took a cautious step closer.

"I think she was right. I've...it took until now to figure it out, but I've always felt different about you than I did everyone else. I just...I just…" He exhaled and threw up a hand. "I was just too fucking stupid to realize what that meant."

I stared at him, disbelieving what I was hearing. This was a hallucination, wasn't it? Was I having a stroke? Was I _dead_?

Kendall closed some more of the space between us.

"I love you, James. I always have. I don't know what that means-if I'm bi, or if I'm…" He made another frustrated gesture. "I don't know. I am so fucking confused and lost, and I feel like an idiot for making it this far in life and not even knowing who the fuck I am, and literally _all _I know is that I love you. And that I want you."

"Kendall…"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were an experiment, or like I was using you." His voice was shaky now, and soft. "I was curious, and I felt safe with you so I thought, what the hell? But I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel like this."

I lowered my gaze, clenching my teeth as a fresh wave of emotions threatened to break loose. I was not going to cry, for God's sake. I was _not_. I-

Kendall touched my face, and I realized he was brushing a tear off my cheek.

Okay. Fuck. Apparently I was going to cry.

I covered my face as I released a ragged breath, and damn him and God bless him, Kendall gathered me into his arms and held me to him.

All this time, my biggest never-gonna-happen fantasy had been him telling me he loved me, but I'd never imagined it playing out this way. That he'd tell me, and I'd break, and suddenly I'd be shaking to pieces in his arms because there were just too many emotions crashing through me to do anything else.

Finally, I wrapped my arms around him, and his embrace tightened until I almost couldn't breathe. I didn't care. I'd waited way too long for him to hold me like this. I wasn't going to complain about oxygen.

Digging my fingers into his back, I whispered, "I've loved you since we were kids."

"I know." He stroked my hair and pressed a kiss to my temple. "I think I have, too. I was just too stupid to realize it."

I laughed softly because I...hell, I didn't know. I was lightheaded from the flurry of emotions, creeping up on delirious as a laugh escaped my lips and another tear escaped my eye.

"I swear to God, I'm not usually this…"

He chuckled, running a trembling hand through my hair.

"Neither am I."

Neither...what?

I drew back, and our eyes met. We were almost as close as we'd been last night. And yeah, there were tears in his eyes, too.

"For the record," he whispered shakily, "I wanted to kiss you last night because I was curious." He caressed my cheek. "I want to kiss you right now because you're you."

I smiled. "Then what are you waiting for?"

He held my gaze, studying me like he thought I was going to rescind the invitation.

_Not a chance, Ken. But if you don't make a move in the next two seconds-_

He leaned closer. I lifted my chin. For long heartbeats, we hovered there, so close we would've felt each other's breath if either of us had been breathing at all. Never in my life had I ever had to fight so hard against the urge to kiss someone, but somehow, I stayed still. He needed to do this. He needed to be the one to cross this line.

_Kendall...please…_

His hand slid around behind my neck.

And then…

He kissed me.

And it was everything. All my fantasies come to life. All my prayers answered. Years of wondering how soft his lips were and how his kiss would taste. Years of telling myself the reality could never begin to stack up against what I'd imagined, and oh God, it was all that and more.

His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me flush against him, and his fingers twitched in my hair. As I gently probed his lips with the tip of my tongue, and as he parted them with a soft sigh to let me in, I was beyond thankful it had taken us so many years to get here.

This was too perfect for teenage fumbling and second-guessing. We needed the sureness of years behind us before we could do this moment the justice it deserved.

Moaning into my kiss, he slid his tongue alongside mine and pressed our swelling cocks together. He had to feel how aroused I was. Had to recognize that hard ridge pressing back against his own.

Between that and his chin grazing mine, stubble whispering across stubble, he had to be completely and consciously aware that he had a man in his arms. Knowing he couldn't escape that reality, that he was diving in without flinching, was heady as fuck.

Maybe this was his first time kissing a man, and maybe his lips and fingers hesitated here and there as he ventured into uncharted territory, but there was also certainty in his touch.

He may not have known exactly what to do with me, but I could tell from his kiss and his embrace that he knew he wanted this. He wanted _me_. And I didn't think anything had ever been more exhilarating.

Kendall touched his forehead to mine, and as our lips separated, we both panted like we'd just finished a sweaty, acrobatic fuck, not a gentle kiss in the kitchen.

"Oh God." He breathed.

"Y-yeah." I licked my lips, nearly grazing his. "Was thinking the same thing."

He exhaled. His thumb traced my cheekbone, and for the first time, I realized he was trembling. Subtly, but impossible to miss when I was pressed this close to him.

"Hey." I nudged his forehead gently with mine and brushed another kiss across his lips. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm...it's just...I never thought…" He paused, then brought both hands up to cradle my face, and he kissed me again with more certainty this time.

He pressed me back against the counter and kissed me harder and deeper. There wasn't just certainty now-there was heat. Hunger. Real undeniable _need_. His first step across this line had been confident, but tentative, and now that tentativeness was a distant memory.

Whatever nerves he'd had a moment ago seemed to be engulfed entirely by pure, sweet abandon. Like he'd been fighting these urges and desires for so long, and now he wanted to fly past surrender and straight into reckless.

_Bring it, baby. Give me everything you've been keeping behind those floodgates._

Kendall broke the kiss with a whispered "Fuck" and then he went for my neck. He explored every inch of my throat just like he had my mouth-tracing lines and curves with his lips, flicking his tongue, letting his teeth graze here and there.

And dear Lord, I had never felt so wanted-so _craved_-in my life. All we'd done was kiss with our clothes on, and I felt like I was water for a man who'd just come out of the desert. The fact that it was Kendall holding me and consuming me and desiring me like this was...holy fuck.

I gripped his shoulders just to stay upright. That thing he was doing to my neck made me weak, and when he started rocking his hips in a distinctive motion against mine, rubbing his clothed hard-on against me as if we were having sex already, I was legitimately worried I might come right then and there.

"You're...God, Kendall." I panted. "You're gonna get me off if you keep doing that."

He lifted his head, grinning wickedly, and ground harder against me. "How is that a bad thing?"

"Because…" I licked my lips as I struggled to find my breath. "I don't...I don't want this to be over yet."

"Over?" The grin turned into a smile. A fucking _reverent _one, especially as he caressed my cheek. "You make it sound like we're only going to do this once."

I blinked, staring into his dilated eyes. "We're…"

"It's taken us pretty much our entire lives to get here." He purred, rubbing that thick hard-on over mine again. "There's no such thing as too soon."

"Kendall…" I gripped the front of his shirt to anchor myself. My eyes tried to roll back, but I forced them open and blinked them into focus. "Let's...I want you naked."

"We'll get there. I-"

"You really want me to come in my pants? Or all over you?"

That got a moan out of him that almost made the conversation moot. In a strained voice, he said, "I don't care where you come. I just want to watch your face when you do."

"God..." My head fell back as a shudder ran through me.

He kissed along my jaw, holding me up with an arm around my waist as he rutted against me. He really was going to make me come in my pants, and with every grunt of need and pleasure he released against my skin, I cared a little less about clothes or anything besides how sexy and raunchy and primal and delicious this was.

"Christ, James." He murmured, teeth grazing my neck. Then he lifted his head and looked in my eyes, his burning with lust, and his voice was a low growl as he said, "How did I ever miss how fucking hot you are?"

The sound that escaped my lips didn't even sound like my own voice, and I dug my fingers into his shoulders as I came like a horny teenager.

"Oh yeah." He groaned as if he was coming too. "Holy fuck…" He kept moving his hips until I stilled him, and we both sagged against the counter, me clinging to his shirt so I didn't drop to the floor at his feet.

Panting hard, I murmured, "Shit, dude."

He laughed breathlessly. "That was one hell of a first kiss."

I laughed too, sounding drunk. "Damn. If we fuck, we'll probably burn the place down."

For the first time since he'd kissed me, a look of uneasiness crossed his face. No, that was straight up fear.

I sobered. "I didn't mean we have to fuck."

"No, I know. I…" He bit his lip.

"We don't have to do everything tonight."

"I know, but it took me way too many years just to get this far." He said as he smoothed my hair. "I'm nervous as hell, but I don't _want _to wait anymore."

I slid my hands up his chest, still disbelieving we were touching like this. Still blown away that he'd just gotten me off, and we hadn't even undressed yet.

"If we move too fast, that's a good way to make things weird. It's your first time with a guy, and it's our first time with each other." I smiled at him. "If we get there tonight, fine. But let's not rush."

He watched me for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay. But I don't necessarily want to put on the brakes either."

"I didn't say we would." I kissed him again, lightly this time. "We just won't rush."

He glanced down. "Well, maybe we should start by getting you out of those messy clothes."

I laughed. "Yeah. Good idea. Come on."

Then I took him by the hand and led him down the hall.

* * *

**Done! So, there you have it. Kames are officially together!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Sadly, the next chapter will be the last, and it will be up this weekend, so the final chapters of both this and Colors will be up sometime this weekend.**

**Until then! :)**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello everyone! We've reached the final chapter of Home!**

**Before we get to that, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter and just the story in general. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, RainbowDiamonds, and Side1ways for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Everything suddenly made sense.

In James' bedroom, as I watched him peel off his shirt, it all just...made sense.

All those times when my ex-wife had thought my gaze had lingered a little too long on a man. All those accusations she'd made about me not just wanting to have sex with him, but being in love with him.

It was like I'd always found men-especially _this_ man-attractive. And maybe I had. When I'd caught myself admiring an attractive man, I'd always thought I was just appreciating his sense of style and wondering if the same look might work on me, or I'd been impressed by how fit he was. When I'd thought an actor who pulled my attention away from an actress was just that charismatic and that good of an actor.

All this time, and it had never crossed my mind that I could-and wanted to-touch a man like this.

And this man in particular.

This man who'd just led me into his bedroom and was looking at me like that and who'd already come once while we were making out and now his bed was _right there_.

My heart pounded. Oh God. We were really doing this?

And I wanted to, right?

Oh yes. Yes, I definitely wanted to.

But nervous? So nervous. So, _so_ nervous.

"Hey." James came closer and slid his hands over my waist. "You okay?"

Gulping, I nodded. "Just nervous."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

"It's okay. There's no rush, and there's no pressure. I promise."

"It's not really rushing when it's over a decade late, you know?"

"Better late than never." He pulled me closer, his naked skin deliciously hot through my shirt. "You're calling the shots tonight, though. Anything you want to do, name it."

I wasn't sure what to say. What I wanted.

"And, um, there's nothing we have to do either." He met my gaze, looking a little shy. "To be honest, I don't even like anal all that much."

"Really? I thought that was...a thing. For dudes."

He smiled, shaking his head. "For some. It's just not my thing. I mean, if you want to try it, we can, but you don't-"

"I don't want to do something you don't like."

"I'm not completely opposed to it, it's just not really something I like doing all the time."

"Oh." Weirdly, that was a relief. I'd had anal before-Jo had loved it-but I'd never bottomed. And maybe tonight that would've been too much. Taking it off the table eased some of my nerves.

"We don't have to do anything." He said again. "In fact, we can start just like this, and we don't have to go any further if you don't want to." He gestured at us, probably indicating that we both still had pants on. "It's your call." He paused. "Though if we're not getting naked, I'd at least like to change into another pair of pants."

"Actually, I…" I watched my hand slide down his waist and onto his clothed hip. "I think I want to get rid of all of this."

He searched my eyes. "Are you sure? We don't have to go that far yet."

"Taking off our clothes?"

He nodded.

"I'm not a virgin, James. I've just never been with a man."

"I know, but some guys…" He chewed his lip.

"I'm not some guys either." I kissed him gently. "Just some idiot who took way too long to figure out he was bi. If you're not into it, we don't have to, but don't stop on my account."

"Oh, I'm into it." He said in a hoarse whisper. "How about I follow your lead, and you tell me if things are going too fast?"

"Deal."

"Okay." He grinned. "So, you said something about getting our clothes off?"

"Mmhmm."

We exchanged grins, then separated and started undressing.

I made it as far as taking off my shirt before I had to stop and stare at him. Christ. No wonder the women in my life had always been prickly when I was around him-they saw plain as day, what it had taken me pretty much all of my lifetime to figure out.

Now that I saw it, though? Now that I knew what all those feelings were, and what it meant when just the sight of him made my breath catch?

I wanted more. I wanted to drown in him. I'd wasted my entire life thinking I wasn't into men, and it was even more of a travesty how long I'd gone without this man in particular.

That wasn't to say I wasn't still nervous as fuck, though. With every layer clothing he stripped off, I wanted him more and I was also more afraid of what we were doing. Yeah, he'd gotten off in the kitchen, but I'd almost gone right over the edge with him. It hadn't been any sexual expertise on my part that had made him lose control. We'd both just been amped up and horny, and all that sexual tension breaking loose had driven us both wild.

But now we were getting naked. Could I get him off a second time?

And-

My fingers froze on my half-buckled belt.

What if he wasn't attracted to me?

Sure, he'd seen me in swim trunks and whatever when we were teenagers, but I wasn't eighteen anymore. He was ripped and sculpted, with the kind of perfect face and flawless body that turned heads everywhere he went.

Oblivious to my second thoughts, James turned down the covers of his bed and slid in. I hadn't realized how paralyzed I was by nerves and God knew what else until he patted the sheets beside him. "You coming?"

I gulped. "I...yeah." I glanced down at my clothes, which I hadn't gotten very far in removing. "Uh…"

He pushed himself up on his elbow, the playful grin shifting to a look of serious concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Um." I swallowed. "Just...keep your expectations realistic, okay?"

His brow quirked. "Huh?"

I laughed self-consciously. "The last time you saw me without my shirt, I was-"

"Babe." He got up on his knees and cam to the edge of the bed. With a finger hooked under my belt, he tugged me closer to him. "I want you. I'm all in." He paused, smirking. "Unless you have a tattoo of my grandma's face above your dick or something."

I chuckled. "No, my appointment for that one isn't until next week." I joked.

"Good." He laughed before pulling at my belt again. "Then get these fucking clothes off and get into my bed." The command in his words-the palpable desire-shook me out of my nervous paralysis, and I did as I was told.

A moment later, I joined him in bed, and just before he pulled the covers up over us, he raked his eyes over me.

"Holy shit, Ken." He whispered. "I don't know what you were worried about." He met my gaze as the covers sank down on top of us. "I always knew you'd look good naked, but _Jesus_." He pressed himself against me, his skin hot and soft from our chests all the way down to our feet.

It wasn't like it was the first time I'd been naked with someone, but this was James. My best friend. The guy I'd evicted from my life for way too long. It barely even registered that he was a man-only that he was the man I'd been in love with forever.

He searched my eyes, and his expression turned serious again.

"I mean it. If we go too fast, just say so." His fingers drifted up my side. "I want you to enjoy this."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem." I curved my hand behind his head and pulled him into a kiss. We wrapped our arms around each other, and the kiss deepened.

Somehow I'd convinced myself that putting my hands on another man would feel alien and wrong, but sliding my palms over his body was hot and natural. Kissing his neck, shoulder, collarbone, chest-how had I ever thought I wouldn't like this?

Our bodies had always fit together so perfectly when we'd hugged, and now it was like we'd both been made for the sole purpose of having sex with each other. Whether he was on top or I was, or if we were lying on our sides and lazily kissing while we touched all over, it was...it was _perfect_.

I could have done this all night, and I was starting to think he just might let me since he obviously wasn't kidding about not being in a hurry. For ages, we just lay there under the covers, wrapped up in each other and kissing like we could make up for the past decade in a single night.

In fact, I didn't even realize how much time had passed until I rolled him onto his back and felt his cock getting hard again. In the kitchen, I hadn't had much of an opportunity to do more than acknowledge that he'd had an erection and that had turned me on, but I couldn't see or feel much through jeans.

Now there was nothing between us. As his cock hardened beside mine, I slid a hand own and wrapped my fingers around him. He groaned, closing his eyes and arching as I stroked experimentally.

Stroking him didn't feel strange at all. It also didn't feel strange in the least to be turned on by his gasps and those low, throaty moans.

"You are so damn sexy." I whispered. "God, I want to do...I want to do everything with you."

"Mmm." He bit his lip and arched his back. When his eyes fluttered open, they were gleaming with lust as they looked up into mine. "Anything you want. Just say the word."

"You." The word came out without a second thought. "Just...you."

He licked his lips. Grinning up at me, he combed his fingers through my hair. "Get on your back."

My body moved before I'd fully made sense of the order. He straddled me and leaned down for a long kiss.

"I've fantasized for years about sucking you off.' He paused to nip at my lower lip. "Any chance I can indulge in that fantasy tonight?"

I shuddered hard under him, and breathed, "P-please do."

He grinned, kissed me again, and moved to my neck. He continued downward, kiss by kiss along my chest, my stomach, and-

Oh, sweet Jesus. I'd imagined him going down on me the night I'd listened to him with someone else, and now it was happening for real. And holy fuck it was hot. His lips and tongue were magic, and his little moans against my skin were amazing, and the gleam in his eyes when he glanced up at me almost sent me through the roof.

And now I wanted to know what it was like for the roles to be reversed.

"Can…" I struggled to speak while he was working so much magic with his mouth.

James lifted his head. "Hmm?" Now that he wasn't sucking my dick anymore, I should've been more articulate, but the sight of him and his swollen lips just above my rock-hard cock..._fuck_.

Still, I managed, "Can I return the favor?"

His eyes widened, and he shivered as he said, "Hell yeah, you can." before quickly adding, "If you want to, of course."

I nodded. "Yeah. I do."

We switched positions, and after a long kiss that almost made me forget what I wanted to do, I started kissing down his neck and chest.

Okay, I was going to do this. I was really going to do this. Before tonight-before just now-I'd never imagined what it would be like to suck dick, so I had no idea what to expect. I wasn't put off or repulsed-in fact, my mouth watered at the thought of doing to him everything he'd just done to me, I was a little intimidated, though.

I looked up from kissing my way down his abs. "Just remember I've never done this before, okay?"

James threaded his fingers into my hair. "If you suck dick _half _as good as you kiss…" He trailed off into another moan.

No pressure, right?

I kissed his hip bone, then lifted myself onto my arm. Hoping my nerves didn't show, I experimentally ran my tongue around the head of his cock. His skin tasted faintly of come, and the reminder of him losing it in the kitchen gave me goosebumps. I licked him again, searching for more.

"Fuck…" James squirmed, though he somehow managed to keep his hips perfectly still. He let go of my hair, and I glanced up to see his fingers curling in the sheets instead.

Oh, now wasn't this a view-James laid out in front of me like a gift, clawing at the bed while his abs tightened and his back arched. His head was thrown back, so I couldn't see much of his face, but I could make out enough to know his eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were pulled tight, and this had to be the single sexiest view I'd ever had.

I'd thought it would be hot for him to glance up at me while he sucked my dick, but switch those roles? Oh my God.

I wanted him to make more of those breathless, helpless sounds, so I have his cock more attention.

"Yeah, baby." He whispered. "Oh. Fuck."

I loved the sounds he made, and I loved how his cock felt sliding between my lips and across my tongue. I hadn't thought of this as something I would enjoy, but hey, I wasn't going to argue.

I started to take more, but James gently stopped me with a hand on my forehead.

"D-don't have to." He stroked my hair. "You don't have to deep throat."

True-I enjoyed more attention to the head, too. It was fun to be deep-throated, but lips and tongue around the head drove me wild.

And balls. How often had I begged my ex to give my balls some attention?

So maybe James would be into that, too.

I shifted around a little, moving down the mattress a few inches, and trailed kisses down the shaft of his cock, past the base, and onto his balls. All it took was a gentle flutter of my tongue against the soft skin, and James was moaning again I swirled my tongue in the same place, and he rewarded me with a helpless whimper.

"If you keep doing that," he purred, "I'm gonna come again."

I instantly decided I liked the idea of sucking him all the way off, but...not this time. I'd never been in bed with a man, and I wasn't about to rush through this.

So, I gave his cock one last lick, then I crawled back up to him.

"Hey, I was enjoying that." He grumbled in protest.

"Me too." I moved on top and grinned down at him. "I was enjoying it a lot."

"Then keep going, you bastard." He growled, raking his hands through my hair. "I was so close."

"I know." I brushed my lips across his. "But I'm having too much fun to stop."

"Who said anything about stopping? Give me twenty minutes, and I'll be ready to fuck your face again."

I shivered hard. "You have three rounds in you tonight?"

He seemed to think about it, then shrugged.

"Okay, that third one's not a promise." He teased my nipple with his thumb. "And it _is _your first time. My first time with you too, so yeah, I want it to last." He lifted his head and kissed me. "Get on your back again."

I paused for one more kiss, then did as I was told, and James climbed on top of me. He sat up and gazed down at me, grinning as he slid his hands up over my chest. I could barely breathe-the sight of him straddling me, and the weight of his body over mine, was seriously the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced.

I still hadn't quite gotten my head around the fact that I was in bed with a man, especially since I was too busy being blown away that I was with _this _man. My best friend. The one who'd been there for me without question even when I'd all but disappeared on him for half a decade.

The person who'd always been able to make my world stop by belting out a song or smiling or just walking into a room.

_Of course I love you. Of course I want you. How did I ever _not _know that?_

"Kiss me." I whispered.

James leaned down, and our lips met, and it was like the first time all over again. My body tingled and my brain short-circuited and my dick couldn't possibly get any harder-God, why the fuck had I waited so long to want him?

I ran my hands up his thighs and onto his ass, and he groaned into my kiss. When he rocked his hips, the friction of our dicks rubbing together made me gasp.

"You like that, don't you?" He asked.

"Uh-huh. In the kitchen it…seemed like you did, too."

"Oh yeah." He lifted himself onto his arms and kept sliding his dick alongside mine. "This is probably my favorite thing."

"Yeah?"

He nodded.

"Mmm, then keep doing it." I said. "Cause it's growing on me pretty quick."

He grinned, then came down to kiss me. We made out, and he rocked his hips, and I just ran my hands all over his feverishly hot body. I still couldn't get over how well we fit together, not to mention how he seemed to know exactly how to turn me inside out. Or hell, maybe I was just so far gone that everything he did drove me wild.

He slowed to a stop, and murmured against my lips, "Spread your legs." Then he sat up, and I did as I was told.

We rearranged our legs so that instead of him straddling me, I was straddling him-only I was on the bottom. It was an odd feeling, being on my back with my legs apart as he came down on top of me again, his hips settling between my hips. It was odd, but hot. Really, _really _hot.

Then he rocked his hips, sliding his dick back and forth against mine, and I made a sound I'd never heard myself make before. Kind of a moan, kind of a whimper, completely primal and helpless. He did it again, and slowly fell into a rhythm until he was fucking against me, the friction driving me wild.

"This okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I licked my lips. "Feels...really good."

He thrust a little harder.

"Kendall...God…" He shuddered and buried his face against my neck. His hot huffs of breath rushed across my skin in time with the rhythmic jerks of his hips, and all I could do was lie there and let pleasure crash through me.

I dragged my nails up his back, and we both moaned when his rhythm faltered. He recovered, and now he was even more frantic, the bed creaking in time with his sharp movements.

"Oh God…" I arched under him. "Oh God, I'm gonna come."

"Yeah?" He panted. "Come on, baby. I've been...I've been dreaming about this for years. Let me see you-"

I didn't hear the rest over my own helpless, throaty cry as I unloaded between our bodies. James kept thrusting, driving my orgasm on and on, and then he shuddered too, and I forced my eyes open because like hell was I missing this view.

Above me, James' eyes were squeezed shut, his lips moving soundlessly, his skin flushed and sweaty, and then a tremor went through him, rolling up his spine until he threw his head back and cried out as his come mixed with mine on my stomach.

And just like that, we both collapsed, me onto the mattress and him on top of me.

And everything was still.

Eyes closed, I wrapped my arms around him. We both panted. His heart probably pounded as hard as mine did.

As my breathing slowed and the trembling eased, I looked down at us. He was still slumped over me, both of us completely debauched and drenched in sweat. James' hips between my spread legs. Come all over both of us.

And it was perfect.

Lying like this, there was no question left in my mind-I was absolutely bisexual. I was absolutely attracted to and in love with and completely lost with James.

Holding him tight, I stroked his damp hair and thought I might break down again as a million emotions rushed over me.

It was like all the upheaval in my life over the last few months hadn't been random chaos, but a strong wind guiding me straight to this moment in this place with this man. And now that I was here, the relief was beyond profound.

_It's been a long road._

_But I made it._

I kissed James' temple and smiled to myself.

_I'm finally home._

* * *

In the last hour, I'd lived out almost every fantasy I'd ever had. I'd had sex with Kendall. Kendall had told me he loved me. That he'd _always _loved me.

And now I was in the one place I'd never thought I'd actually be-tangled up with him, naked and satisfied in my bed.

_Please God, don't let him change his mind._

It was irrational and I knew it.

If he were actually straight, he probably would have had a change of heart-or cock-sometime before we'd gotten each other off.

Still, some part of me couldn't quite settle. Couldn't quite accept that this was real and not just a dream of mine or a fleeting phase of his. I kind of wanted to ask him if it was, but I was too afraid of the answer, so I didn't move. Nothing wrong with indulging in a few more minutes of his naked warmth.

It was Kendall who finally moved, but he didn't go far-he just rolled onto his side and rested his hand in the middle of my chest.

"So. We're…" He blushed. "We really…"

"Yeah. We did." I said, lifting my eyebrows. "And we...are?"

He smiled shyly. "I know I want to."

"Me too. So does this mean you're bi, or...what?"

"I guess so." He trailed a fingertip along the edge of my jaw. "It's kind of hard to tell when I can't look at anyone except you."

I couldn't help laughing, and lifted my head to kiss him.

"You know, I'm really liking this kind of corny but totally sweet romantic side of you."

Kendall chuckled, stroking my cheek as I settled back on the pillow.

"Yeah, I guess it is kind of corny. It's true, though. I mean, at the reunion tonight, there were some insanely hot women. And they just…" He shook his head. "All I could think about was you."

Sobering a little, I mirrored him and turned on my side so we were facing each other.

"And this is just out of the blue? Being into...well, me or men?"

"No." He watched his palm slide down my waist. "Like I said, Jo figured out there was something. I think I've been attracted to guys all along, but I never let myself think about it." He fell silent for a moment, eyes unfocused like he was deep in thought, so I stayed quiet until he'd finished mulling over whatever it was.

Finally, he met my eyes.

"Yeah, I'd say I'm bi. Just never gave myself a chance to check out men until I'd already fallen too hard for you to notice anyone else."

My heart fluttered. I could _definitely _get used to his corny romantic side.

"I have to admit, I kind of wondered when we were younger."

"About what?"

"About if you were bi. I mean, I knew you were into girls, but I don't know a lot of straight guys who are as comfortable around gay men as you are. And sometimes...just the way you would look at a football or hockey player or something…" I shrugged. "Yeah, I wondered."

His cheeks colored. "You never said a word, though."

"Of course I didn't." I said quickly. "You said you were straight."

"Did you think I'd get mad? You know I wasn't a homophobe."

"No, but I didn't want to be the guy who kept needling you to consider men because then you'd think I was just trying to get in your pants."

He studied me. "Well, were you?"

"Well, I definitely wanted you, but only if you wanted me, too." I held his gaze. "The last thing in the world I wanted was to be something you regretted. I decided a long time ago I'd rather be friends and keep things platonic and have you in my life than have things get weird between us."

He smiled and brushed a soft kiss across my lips.

"The only thing I regret is taking so long to figure this out."

"Better late than never, right?"

"Yeah, but still." He kissed me again, letting it linger this time. "I can't believe you were right in front of my all this time and I never…"

I studied him. "And you were never into any other guy?"

"I didn't think I was, but...I don't know. Maybe? I've got a long list of exes who accused me of being into you and other guys, so maybe they saw something I didn't." He absently stroked my hair. "It's like you said before-I never thought about whether I might be attracted to men. I knew I liked women, and just never considered it beyond that. Not until now, anyway."

"So this really is new for you? All of it?"

"I'm not a virgin or anything, but yeah, being with a man is new."

I fidgeted uneasily. "Well, if you decide you want to experiment a bit, and try things with other guys, just say-"

Kendall cut me off with a tender kiss.

When he broke away, he whispered, "I don't want anyone else." He searched my eyes, and must have seen the apprehension still lingering. "Yes, I'm attracted to men. And yes, I do regret never being with any until now. But I'm not interested in anyone else. I just want you."

"Still, if it ever comes up…" I said before letting out a sigh. "I just want you to be happy, Kendall. You're exploring a totally new side of yourself, and-"

"And we'll cross that bridge if we get to it." He said softly. "If it ever comes up, we'll talk about it. But right now, you're the only one I want. Period."

"Just as long as you know the option is there."

"I do. And I appreciate it. But monogamy has always been more my speed. Even before my wife cheated on me."

"Mine too, actually." I whispered. "A lot of gay couples I know aren't, but...I don't know. I just like it like this. One on one."

He smiled fondly at me. "Why am I not surprised we're on the same page?"

"Guess we're more alike than we thought."

"Guess so." He kissed me again, lightly this time.

We lay like that for a while, just holding each other with his head on my chest. Then his arm started getting tired from being pinned between us, so we switched. He rolled onto his back and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I draped mine over his stomach as I rested my head on his chest.

For a long time, we were silent. I could hear his heartbeat, and it was in almost perfect sync with mine. Not racing. Not pounding. Just beating steadily while we lay together. His fingers ran through my hair, and I closed my eyes at the gentle touch.

"Can I confess something?" I asked after a while.

"Hmm?"

"This is the part I fantasized about more than anything."

His hand stopped "What do you mean?"

"Just...this. What we're doing." I trailed the backs of my fingers down the middle of his chest. "I mean, I'm not going to lie-I thought about, uh, a lot of things. But this is the part I kept coming back to. Even if we never had sex, and just wound up like this…"

"Really?"

"Yeah. This is the best part, you know?"

I thought for a second he might roll his eyes and accuse me of being a cheesy romantic-okay, guilty-but I should've know he wouldn't.

Instead, he whispered, "It really is." Then his arm tightened around my shoulders and he kissed the top of my head. "I just can't believe no one came along and snatched you up before I got my shit together."

I smiled. "Honestly, I don't think there was anyone else out there who could put up with me like you do."

Kendall laughed, stroking my arm with his fingertips.

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

"Uh-huh. And I'm a twenty-eight and single, so…"

"Was." He said before pressing another kiss to my hair. "I think you meant to say 'I _was _twenty-eight and single.'"

My heart fluttered and I lifted my chin to kiss under his jaw.

"Well, I'm still twenty-eight for a few months, so…"

Kendall laughed. "You know what I mean, you dork."

"Yes, I do." I couldn't cuddle much closer to him, but I damn sure tried. I _was _still twenty-eight, but single? Nope. "Does this mean I should scramble up and change my Facebook relationship status?" I joked.

"You better not." He held me tighter and grinned. "Because that would mean getting out of bed, and I kind of like you where you are."

I shivered, squirming in his arms as our naked skin rubbed together. "Mmm, I think that status update can wait."

"Me too." He kissed me again, drawing it out for a long, lazy moment. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to be spending a lot of nights across the hall after this?"

I lifted my head so I could look in his eyes. "You know I won't say no to you staying in my room."

"Good." He smiled. "Because I kind of like it in here."

"Me too."

His smile faltered a little. "It...almost feels like we're moving in together already. Since we live together."

"But you still have your space." I gestured toward his bedroom. "Even if you're mostly sleeping in here, the other room is yours." I paused. "If you'd feel more comfortable getting your own place once you're on your feet, it won't hurt my feelings. Whatever it takes to not screw this up."

He seemed to mull it over for a moment before he said, "Let's just keep things the way they are. Honestly, I…" He broke eye contact and gnawed his lip.

"What?"

He took in a deep breath through his nose before he turned to me again.

"We spent a lot of years apart because I was an idiot. The last thing I want to think about is getting away from you."

I stroked his cheek. "Then stay."

He held my gaze, and my heart fluttered. God, there was that look. For years I'd sworn I would sell my soul to have that look directed at me just _one _time for just _one _moment.

Now it was, and yes, it definitely would have been worth my soul and then some. And it wasn't a fleeting glance for me to torture myself with afterward. He was holding my gaze, and he wasn't going anywhere, and Jesus Christ, was this real?

Yeah. Yeah, it was. Right? Maybe sometime I'd stop wondering when I'd wake up from this dream or when the other shoe would drop, but I didn't see that happening any time soon.

I touched his face. "I've spent so many years wishing you would look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that."

He smiled. "I think I've been looking at you like this since the dawn of time." He caressed my cheek. "Just...never managed to do it when you were looking at me."

Oh my god. Yes. I could totally get used to this corny romantic side of him.

"Well, you've got my undivided attention now."

He laughed and brushed his lips across mine. "Good."

I trailed my thumb along the edge of his jaw.

"I love you, Kendall." Saying that to him was never going to get old. Never.

"I love you, too." He stroked my cheek. "I'm just sorry it took so long for me to figure that out."

"It's okay. This was worth the wait."

He smiled. Then he drew me in and kissed me so softly, so tenderly, I almost wanted to cry again. Worth the wait? Talk about an understatement. I'd fantasized about sex with him and about him being in love with me, but I'd never actually thought any of it would happen.

But here he was. Here we were. Kendall was in my bed, holding me to him and kissing me like there was no place in the world he'd rather be than right here with me. After all this time, my best friend was back in my life. He loved me in the one perfect way I'd never imagined he actually would.

He drew back and met my eyes. "So what do we do now?"

I shrugged as I caressed his cheek. "I guess we take it a day at a time and see where this goes."

"I meant right now, like the rest of the night." He grinned. "It's still early."

"Hmm, yeah. It is. Probably too early to go to sleep."

"Well, you know what they say." His fingers drifted down my chest and stomach. "Early to bed, early to rise…"

I sucked in a breath as his hand drifted under the covers. "Fuck…"

He laughed softly, leaned in, and kissed me in the same moment his hand slid over my cock. No, I didn't see us leaving this bed any time soon.

I had no idea if I had a third orgasm in me tonight or not, but I sure as hell wasn't saying no to Kendall's hands, Kendall's mouth, Kendall's body…

"You have anywhere else to be tonight?" He murmured between kisses.

"Nope."

His lips curved into a grin against mine, and neither of us said another word.

I was in my bed with my best friend. With the man I'd loved since the beginning of time.

Did I have anywhere else to be?

Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

Because I was right where I'd always wanted to be.

* * *

**Done! So, Kames got their happy ending! :D**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and story in general, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! This was another fun ride, and am so sad to see this story end. I'm so thankful to each and every one of you for your support and for taking the time to read and review! And as sad as I am to see this story end, I'm looking forward to sharing what I've working on with you all.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


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